audience: laudna

[mygod]

Comments

[mygod]

We can smuggle you an item a week, yes. Not interested in bringing you any weapons, for the record. In your case... A small crafting kit should be doable.

Will that suffice?

[undread]

Yes, that would be delightful.

[she doesn't care about weapons, anyway. unless they're cursed and magical.]

Maybe I can make something for you.

[mygod]

[She can enjoy the Bible or fill it with leeches.]

That's all right, and confusing. I have not invited friendliness from you in the slightest.

[undread]

No, you're very withholding. But if I make you something, then if you kill me, every time you look at it you'll feel guilt and sorrow, and it will break you down emotionally little by little, day by day. You might think you could simply discard it, but that too would cause you psychic pain.

[mygod]

Oh, I see. A memento with which I can brood and suffer your loss.

[This is the lightest they've sounded.]

Shall I make you one as well? In case you lot are the death of us all?

[undread]

What a great idea! Like a gift exchange!

[mygod]

Yes. Like a gift exchange.

How do you feel about flowers?

[undread]

Lovely. Fresh from the garden, or dried?

[mygod]

I have a number of both. I'll even bring you the one you prefer.

[undread]

Hmm. Dried, I think. Do you have a preference on colors?

[mygod]

I don't have any preferences, for anything. Surprise me.

[They tack on, casual like:]

Which demeanor of yours is the real thing, by the way? The anger you showed me before, or this? Both?

[undread]

Both. You can't focus on the negatives all the time, you know.

[mygod]

Sure you can.

[They are so cheerful.]

You can be hostile. It's odd how friendly some of you are.

[undread]

I know I can be hostile.

[a little nasty smile spreading across her face.]

Just because I'm not choosing to be right this moment doesn't mean I've decided against it. But if I kill you later on, the flowers will make me a little sad, I think.

[they might have been joking but that shit would work on her.]

[mygod]

[They do not seem perturbed by this. The hair-ripping moment took them by surprise, but they're apparently fine now.]

Is that so? Then I'm looking forward to your gift and your efforts. For the record, if you do decide that we're working for the other side, I would be the easiest to kill of the four of us.

[undread]

Really? Why?

[mygod]

[They shake their cane a little, speaking academically.]

I'm more agile than I look, but not by much. Impaired vision. Can't taste anything. Healing magic historically doesn't work very well on my body. Always been pretty weak in general too, I guess. I don't really care to fight.

So, pretty easy, right?

[undread]

Well. That depends. All of that would certainly make you less effective physically, but is there anything else you can do?

[mygod]

Hm... I'm a doctor. I can synthesize medicines that can push the body far beyond its limits. It's useful, if strenuous.

But the point is I wouldn't fight back against you. Of course, you don't have to believe that.

[undread]

[she goes still for a moment.]

I don't want to kill someone who doesn't fight back. But if you're lying to us, I won't have a choice.

[mygod]

[They mull over the wording.]

I'd expect that if we're lying, you'd want to kill us. Or do you feel it's your obligation? An inevitability?

[undread]

I will want to, yes. I'll be too angry to stop.

[mygod]

Good that you know that about yourself. Or perhaps I should apologize that you've had to learn.

In any case, I am the last person who would stop someone seeking revenge. How complimentary we are.

[undread]

[shifting immediately back to cheerful.]

If we don't wind up becoming enemies, perhaps we'll be the best of friends.

[mygod]

[Their tone is unchanged from its usual soft dryness, like sand.]

Right. Friends based on a mutual understanding of near inevitable vengeance.

We're even getting each other presents.

[That's what friends do.]