audience: laudna

[mygod]

Comments

[undread]

[he's dead so idk i guess she'll just explain the answer to this, which is that she doesn't know how to answer that.]

She is the one who killed me. But I think she may be the only person who really understands me. Without her, I don't know who I am.

[mygod]

[ this sounds very healthy and fine ]

Someone can provide the missing context in your life, even if you don't like them. They'll be the crutch you stand on, even if you hate them.

[ they say this not in any real supportive manner. understanding, not accepting. ]

But you don't want revenge against her? I'd expect that much.

[undread]

There would be no point. She's already dead. The only part of her left is the part in me. And I don't think it's possible for me to be rid of her forever while I'm still here.

[mygod]

[ they look at her squarely. ]

I didn't ask if you thought there's a point, or if you'd survive. I asked if you wanted it.

[undread]

[that's a very complicated question.]

Why would I dwell on something that won't happen?

[mygod]

[ this makes them laugh a little. like one of those sounds that starts by sounding like a scoff but carries into a resigned puff. ]

Why not?

[ why not... who needs resentment to be reasonable. ]

Or maybe you're scared to think about what's left of you, if she's gone.

[undread]

[he really hit the nail on the head with that one, and she's visibly stricken by the thought.]

...Maybe. I don't like this conversation.

[mygod]

[ oops same mental illness ]

...No, I don't suppose you would.

[ they sigh for a moment, long and quiet, like being actively mean is tiresome. ]

A word of unsolicited advice. Find other things to fill the void, while you're still borrowing time.

[undread]

[she nods rapidly.]

I've been trying. I've been trying. But then if those things are taken away...

[the void is still there.]