audience: astarion

[mygod]

Comments

[mygod]

That's what I like to hear!

[ drunk antics from the previous night won't stop anyone ]

I figure we can try something simple?

[haematocritical]

Simple is… preferable, yes. I haven’t cooked in over 200 years.

[mygod]

Then let's do...

[ they walk over, and then pick something up. a bucket! it's full of potatoes. ]

Mashed potatoes! Marian inspired me.

[ by going on a weird speech about potatoes ]

[haematocritical]

[ it’s potatogate… so many potatoes…. ]

Well that’s… simple enough. [ they can’t fuck that up, can they? ] What, three, four ingredients?

[mygod]

Pretty straightforward, yeah!

[ it would be impressive if they fuck it up.

they roll up their sleeves. ]

And I can get us the drinks.

[haematocritical]

[ they will if we make dice maiden roll for after yesterday. ]

Drinks and smashing the daylights out of a bucket of potatoes. What more could a man want?

[mygod]

Hm, no idea, that all seems to be what anyone needs.

[ but they will wander over to set up drinks.

there is a kitchen, and in it is already items they would need for setup-- knives, the fuckin masher, garlic, butter, etc. etc. ]

[haematocritical]

[ use the potatoes to make vodka next.




i was going to make a garlic joke but i've fed astarion garlic before and he had no issue with it so yay! garlic! ]

I'm hoping you have a better idea of the starting point then I do, which I'm assuming is... mashing.

[mygod]

We peel the potatoes... and then mash!

[ they return with drinks and set one down for him. ]

We're going to be top chefs, bud.

[haematocritical]

[ looks at them. ]

Are they cooked...?

[ hell yeah. top chef. ]

[mygod]

That's after the peeling!

Ohh, you'll be a great trophy wife one day.

[haematocritical]

I have a feeling I should be insulted by that.

[ he sips his drink. like a trophy wife drinking and making dinner for the husband he doesn't have. ]

Are you cooking in the full get up?

[mygod]

[ there's a pause, and they look down. consider... ]

I guess it's a little inconvenient...

[ ......

they sigh, and then take a moment to fumble to take the Uniform. wait a second. after a moment... tada. ]

[haematocritical]

[ me like yay i don't know who this is!

POINTY EARS.

astarion's own flick. ]

Ah, I wasn't aware we had something in common.

[mygod]

[ no one ever does but she shrugs. ] Yeah... sorry!

[haematocritical]

I'm not sure it's something you need to apologise about.

[ ear twinsies. ]

[mygod]

Ah, well, I actually haven't really gotten to spend a lot of time with other elves, so it felt weird to not say anything. [ sometimes you are chihuahua shaking on the inside ]

[haematocritical]

I haven't either. [ for DEPRESSING REASONS. ] I'm not exactly... connected to anything especially elven.

[ francy playing a chihuahua... ]

[mygod]

[ hilariously. for her it is also depressing reasons. so here we are. but there's a pause, before she will go and hand him a potato and a peeler. ] Well, you're connected to me, so there we go!

[haematocritical]

[ elf to elf communication. elf to elf conversation. ]

I do know one other, but he's very... my name is Halsin and I speak for the trees. Nice man though. Fairly sure someone's written poetry about his biceps.

[ he does a completely unnecessary twirl of the peeler before getting to work. for a trophy wife who doesn't cook he's surprisingly good at peeling potatoes. ]

[mygod]

[ she flexes her own bicep when he says that... it is nothing impressive. ] I only saw other elves for the first time pretty recently? And then here. There's not really many left, where I'm from.

[haematocritical]

[ watches this like ah yes. halsin, you have competition. ]

Hm.

[ he grabs another potato and cracks on with that one. ] There’s still a lot of them in Faerun. Especially in the Underdark where the Drow historically live. [ his head swivels 180 to look at essek from a totally different thread (no it doesn’t) ] But we’re certainly not endangered or anything like that.

What happened?

[mygod]

[ she glances upwards for a second at the mention of drows, before looking back at the task at hand. ] Oh, there's a disease back home that's pretty bad for everyone. But it's especially deadly to us-- it wiped elves to close to extinction that most people don't even know we exist. I had to find out what I am from a book. [ it wasn't super fun. but she carefully peels her own potatoes as she talks. ]

[haematocritical]

[ YEAH? ]

… [ his nose wrinkles. ] That bad, hm? I mean, we don’t outnumber some of the more widespread races like humans, but I’ve never had to learn what I was from a book. [ he’s always been and been aware of the fact he’s an elf. ]

Did people just think you were born with strangely elongated ears?

[mygod]

Aha, they probably thought I was some odd mix of a few races, or something! There's a few others with ears like this, but they normally have other features like a tail or something... It's easier to assume that, instead of me being something they never heard of. [ she picks up another potato. ] But you get used to it.