audience: astarion

[mygod]

Comments

[mygod]

Oh, you definitely should. Nothing makes you feel cooler than a good, secret handshake. [ this is a fact... ]

[haematocritical]

Help me think of one then.

[mygod]

Hm, then... [ she sets her potato and peeler down, and holds a hand out to him. their stupid new secret handshake workshop ]

[haematocritical]

[ i guess they are making a handshake even though astarion clearly doesn’t know what he’s doing. it’s all on you, pesto. ]

[mygod]

[ it's fine it is elaborate and idiotic but funny ]

[haematocritical]

[ he will do his best not to forget it immediately.

when they are done with the super special secret handshake-- he will look at the potato bucket. ] Do you think that's enough?

[mygod]

[ she peeks at the pile... before nodding in approval. ] Yeah! We'll get them ready to cook, and then it'll be the fun part. [ MASHING ]

[haematocritical]

The part where we get to brutalise them with a flat object? [ don’t say it like that. ]

[mygod]

Yes indeedy! [ DON'T JUST AGREE ] It's a good upper body workout.

[haematocritical]

[ oh. ]

Oh.

My dear, I am built for finesse, not brute strength.

[mygod]

That will change after today, sir! [ it won't but it'll still be fun ]

[haematocritical]

[ he looks so sad for his poor arm muscles. ]

This isn’t very trophy wife of me.

[mygod]

You can pose with the masher. [ like the photoshoots where they pretend they are doing practical things but obviously have never vacuumed in their life ]

[haematocritical]

For a portrait?

[ imagine. ]

Only if you capture my good side.