Anything too visible would mean a higher risk of everything being taken away. Yeah, that makes sense to me. When you're infiltrating and going against the order of things, you have to blend in as much as possible and change things right under their nose. [she ponders on that though.] If it's not a problem they can get around...what do you think our chances are here?
[she agrees! makes total sense, would rather not hurt things in the long run. and even as an optimist, she did come to see nehan and ask him these questions solely because she knows he has a much better understanding of their situation than any of them. blind faith isn't going to help, and being positive will only get them so far if there are actual possibilities for results.]
It...almost feels like this is a two steps process. Designing a way for us to get out of here, and bringing materials over to the village to recreate the machine you all were building to then maybe get all of us out. If each person only brought one part, that should escape the cult's watch, shouldn't it? But building a different machine here probably won't work the same way, huh. If this place really is just a dimension that ripped open on accident.
Yet, Death. The keyword in all of that is "yet." [...] Would you prefer to still be called Death, by the way? Or is Nehan alright?
[she's called him both while talking to other people, but she thinks it's fair to ask for his take on it. that aside, she continues.]
You found the workaround with the veiling trick you guys were able to do at certain times. And this place isn't exactly supervised either, so that means that much is possible. While it's not ideal to keep us all here for as long as it takes, we know what kind of results we've been able to achieve so far. [hum.] Do you believe there's something out there that might give us a chance to go back?
[it's one thing to be trying, but it's another to know if you really believe in revival after death in the first place.]
I'm not banking on anything. What we've found so far in those tomes seems like it could help us with regards to the ritual itself—it's a rare opportunity to see that kind of information. And we can communicate it to the other side, if only through the other overseers.
[ he does not think they'll share overmuch, but at least it's there. ]
I believe we can be an asset to them. Or a threat to the cult. But I don't know if we can be 'saved.' It isn't that simple.
Nehan then. [goodbye death.] The others told me that at first even communicating with the other overseers wasn't a possibility and that's since changed. If there's a rip in this dimension allowing a bridge...those who have died can slip back and forth between them. I've seen this before, I think.
[she says this but what she means is "i think that's happening to me at home."]
We might not be able to save ourselves on this side, but...I don't know. I don't want to put the pressure on them to think too much about it. They'll remember us for a while, but after that...[...well. people die all the time here. they'll mourn for a little while and then refocus on getting themselves out and not losing more people. and that's okay. that's life.] That said, I do wonder if by us being an asset, it also would give them a push to find some way to accomplish that on their side. Not that bringing the dead back is easy. Most of them probably don't even think it's possible.
[ this is such a specific thing to relate to, aerith ]
Have you...? [ hmmm ] I can't rule it out as a possibility. Our situation is changing, and our connection to them does seem stronger now. Just keep your expectations tempered.
[ but the rest gives him pause. ]
We haven't told anyone about our presence here yet. For caution's sake. [ besides the other overseers, of course. ] Do you want them to move on, or to be saved?
[looks at her other conversations with nehan so far. listen man you keep hitting her with specific examples idk what to tell you. but there's a slow nod because she realizes that really does sound unhinged. so she's going to try to explain even if that also sounds unhinged.]
...I was killed. That's a fact. But something happened and now I don't...really know where I am? No one else can see me, even if some of them can feel me. I'm still able to be on the planet, and Cloud...can see me. And hear me. I don't think he fully knows what happened. Like a different reality where he managed to save me. [and it's why she has not told him she's actually dead. but beyond that.] But recently he told me he saw Zack, too. And Zack's been gone for a little while. So...if we're in the same situation, then it feels like we're both in the lifestream and we're not. If Cloud was able to see both of us, and hear and talk to both of us...[well there's entirely the possibility that cloud's fucking insane, but she's thinking more about red who definitely felt she was there and petting him.]
I don't have expectations, but I don't think we're hopeless in this situation either. I guess that's what I'm getting at. It makes sense not to tell anyone we're here in case that information falls in the wrong hands. [...] But if I had the option, I think everyone should be saved. I know that when it's a person's time, you can't change that. But I don't think that this is it. They all had their lives taken too soon, or they were removed from their own afterlives. They deserve the chance to regain what they lost.
[anyway before i get too derailed, this occurs until 3:28:28, minus zack's part in the middle.]
[ everyone and their very specific triggers... anyway i'm sorry this is late i had to learn how to write emotional gravitas again after rectangles
there's a lot to absorb about this scene without context, a world-shattering threat and the howls of an entire planet's worth of pain. that, and the framing of everything that aerith mentions gives him plenty to chew on when the scene ends, the tiniest furrow in his usually stoic brow. ]
...I'm usually a believer in fate. But I do think people have been taken very far from their paths, here.
[this is the funniest thing you could have said to me but also what a mood.
anyway yeah! sure is a lot to absorb, and she seems to be registering all of this fairly calmly, watching the memory back while nehan processes what he's seeing. everything happens a lot, and she's not fully sure of the question he'll ask, but when it comes she's not surprised either.]
Things that have happened here, for better or worse, were likely never part of the original plan. [so she agrees. this was absolutely spitting in the eye of fate whether one's defying it or believing in it.] That...was destiny's crossroads. The first time we crossed the gap to try and fight Sephiroth, and stop him from proceeding with his plan to destroy the planet. He's...there are ways he's able to control the flow of destiny now, I think. Those black figments you saw...the Whispers? They always appear when we try to stray from destiny's path. Sephiroth wants things to go a certain way so that he can destroy the planet and absorb the lifestream into himself. He wants to create a "forever." And it's up to us to stop him.
[ it's a little complicated, but he can get the gist of it. ]
Someone trying to take all of fate into his own hands... [ destroying the world in the process. ] Something drastic must have happened for him to go so far.
...about five years ago, something happened while he was on a mission. And he learned some things about himself that changed his way of thinking. They first said he went missing after that. And then they said he was killed in action. But recently he's come back to try and reclaim what he calls "his birthright." A dominion unbound by fate and histories unwritten. Says that it's his for the taking.
I know. [believe her, she knows it's insane.] I know some people probably thing this is a normal thing to happen in our world, but it's just as insane to us as everyone else. But it's the other reason I really, really need to do what I can to make sure Cloud and Yuffie get back.
[ he nods—stopping a guy who wants to destroy the planet who wants to create his own version of eternity seems like a good plan. and aerith did seem to understand what was going on more than her companions. ]
What about you?
Even leaving out those... questionable incentives, there's plenty of death defying here. Maybe they could bring you back.
[luckily she's had some time dealing with scien bullying her into thinking about this, so her answer is slightly different than it was previously.]
I'm not sure. It's...I think it was something that was supposed to happen. Like I knew this was my fate, once, but the Whispers took that knowledge from me. I can do what I can to help them in the lifestream but...Cloud said something about someone else we know who was dead. That he came to help him fight. I know what happened. Sephiroth came and there was no mistaking his sword. But lately I've been more unsure of where I am.
[like knowing you're dead but you're also stuck between timelines somehow.]
...everyone but Cloud has acknowledged I'm not with them anymore. I guess I'm a little worried about the consequences of coming back. [but she does think she wants to.]
[this is a very fair question because he asks and she stares at him like she hasn't got a clue in the world what she should say.]
...yeah. But does that really make them chance if they're meant to happen? [a thought.] I understand where you're going with this though. Just because nothing could be done yet where we're from doesn't mean it can't be changed here. That goes for you too, doesn't it?
[she has heard a few things on nehan's view of what he was doing with his life.]
I don't bother fighting the hand of fate. That's the only reason I'm here in the first place. [ sometimes you just join a cult because it's there. ] I assume you all will be a little less happy to just accept circumstances as they come.
[she tilts her head, apparently not bothered that she's asking personal questions.]
I think it's more the fact that even if these circumstances come, we don't know what the end will be. So people are going to try different things. [people. not necessarily her because she's not entirely there yet, but people.]
Do you think the hand of fate is what brought you to this point, too? [not just the cult, but like. dying for the cult.]
[ maybe if they try hard enough, a path will open where one wasn't before. or they can at least all die knowing they tried. either way. ]
Anyway, I do think that. Maybe fate brought me here to help you. Or maybe it's just so I die here. Maybe there's no reason for it at all. It doesn't matter to me either way. [ he is resigned to whatever happens. ]
Putting in the effort's better than waiting. [fight or die (again) trying, yeah!]
...Nehan, do you no longer have ambitions of your own? [she doesn't even mean this rudely despite how it sounds, she's just curious how he can be in a mode where "whatever happens happens and who cares."
it's an attempt to understand him better, and maybe a way to skew her own thinking for the coming weeks.]
Understandable. You can always want different or even better for other people than yourself. [also THIS IS NOT HEALTHY which is why she's going to be turbo annoying and keep asking.] But why not?
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Anything too visible would mean a higher risk of everything being taken away. Yeah, that makes sense to me. When you're infiltrating and going against the order of things, you have to blend in as much as possible and change things right under their nose. [she ponders on that though.] If it's not a problem they can get around...what do you think our chances are here?
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Exactly. It's better to integrate yourself into something you want to break apart. Drawing attention is only going to hurt in the long run.
[ but as for their real chances... his expression is staid. ]
We have advantages of being here. Secrecy, access to materials they don't have, and whatnot. But it won't matter in the end if we can't leave.
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It...almost feels like this is a two steps process. Designing a way for us to get out of here, and bringing materials over to the village to recreate the machine you all were building to then maybe get all of us out. If each person only brought one part, that should escape the cult's watch, shouldn't it? But building a different machine here probably won't work the same way, huh. If this place really is just a dimension that ripped open on accident.
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That would require a way to send them things, first off. I don't know that we can. And we don't currently have any parts to take to them.
[ but he doesn't reject the idea outright, thinking. ]
The original machine was to create a safe pocket for us to work without surveillance. Obviously, we're beyond that now. We'd need something better.
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[she's called him both while talking to other people, but she thinks it's fair to ask for his take on it. that aside, she continues.]
You found the workaround with the veiling trick you guys were able to do at certain times. And this place isn't exactly supervised either, so that means that much is possible. While it's not ideal to keep us all here for as long as it takes, we know what kind of results we've been able to achieve so far. [hum.] Do you believe there's something out there that might give us a chance to go back?
[it's one thing to be trying, but it's another to know if you really believe in revival after death in the first place.]
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[ he truly does not give a damn. ]
I'm not banking on anything. What we've found so far in those tomes seems like it could help us with regards to the ritual itself—it's a rare opportunity to see that kind of information. And we can communicate it to the other side, if only through the other overseers.
[ he does not think they'll share overmuch, but at least it's there. ]
I believe we can be an asset to them. Or a threat to the cult. But I don't know if we can be 'saved.' It isn't that simple.
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[she says this but what she means is "i think that's happening to me at home."]
We might not be able to save ourselves on this side, but...I don't know. I don't want to put the pressure on them to think too much about it. They'll remember us for a while, but after that...[...well. people die all the time here. they'll mourn for a little while and then refocus on getting themselves out and not losing more people. and that's okay. that's life.] That said, I do wonder if by us being an asset, it also would give them a push to find some way to accomplish that on their side. Not that bringing the dead back is easy. Most of them probably don't even think it's possible.
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Have you...? [ hmmm ] I can't rule it out as a possibility. Our situation is changing, and our connection to them does seem stronger now. Just keep your expectations tempered.
[ but the rest gives him pause. ]
We haven't told anyone about our presence here yet. For caution's sake. [ besides the other overseers, of course. ] Do you want them to move on, or to be saved?
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...I was killed. That's a fact. But something happened and now I don't...really know where I am? No one else can see me, even if some of them can feel me. I'm still able to be on the planet, and Cloud...can see me. And hear me. I don't think he fully knows what happened. Like a different reality where he managed to save me. [and it's why she has not told him she's actually dead. but beyond that.] But recently he told me he saw Zack, too. And Zack's been gone for a little while. So...if we're in the same situation, then it feels like we're both in the lifestream and we're not. If Cloud was able to see both of us, and hear and talk to both of us...[well there's entirely the possibility that cloud's fucking insane, but she's thinking more about red who definitely felt she was there and petting him.]
I don't have expectations, but I don't think we're hopeless in this situation either. I guess that's what I'm getting at. It makes sense not to tell anyone we're here in case that information falls in the wrong hands. [...] But if I had the option, I think everyone should be saved. I know that when it's a person's time, you can't change that. But I don't think that this is it. They all had their lives taken too soon, or they were removed from their own afterlives. They deserve the chance to regain what they lost.
[anyway before i get too derailed, this occurs until 3:28:28, minus zack's part in the middle.]
no subject
there's a lot to absorb about this scene without context, a world-shattering threat and the howls of an entire planet's worth of pain. that, and the framing of everything that aerith mentions gives him plenty to chew on when the scene ends, the tiniest furrow in his usually stoic brow. ]
...I'm usually a believer in fate. But I do think people have been taken very far from their paths, here.
[ ... ]
What was all that?
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anyway yeah! sure is a lot to absorb, and she seems to be registering all of this fairly calmly, watching the memory back while nehan processes what he's seeing. everything happens a lot, and she's not fully sure of the question he'll ask, but when it comes she's not surprised either.]
Things that have happened here, for better or worse, were likely never part of the original plan. [so she agrees. this was absolutely spitting in the eye of fate whether one's defying it or believing in it.] That...was destiny's crossroads. The first time we crossed the gap to try and fight Sephiroth, and stop him from proceeding with his plan to destroy the planet. He's...there are ways he's able to control the flow of destiny now, I think. Those black figments you saw...the Whispers? They always appear when we try to stray from destiny's path. Sephiroth wants things to go a certain way so that he can destroy the planet and absorb the lifestream into himself. He wants to create a "forever." And it's up to us to stop him.
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Someone trying to take all of fate into his own hands... [ destroying the world in the process. ] Something drastic must have happened for him to go so far.
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Sounds... insane.
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I know. [believe her, she knows it's insane.] I know some people probably thing this is a normal thing to happen in our world, but it's just as insane to us as everyone else. But it's the other reason I really, really need to do what I can to make sure Cloud and Yuffie get back.
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What about you?
Even leaving out those... questionable incentives, there's plenty of death defying here. Maybe they could bring you back.
It sounded like they could use your guidance.
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I'm not sure. It's...I think it was something that was supposed to happen. Like I knew this was my fate, once, but the Whispers took that knowledge from me. I can do what I can to help them in the lifestream but...Cloud said something about someone else we know who was dead. That he came to help him fight. I know what happened. Sephiroth came and there was no mistaking his sword. But lately I've been more unsure of where I am.
[like knowing you're dead but you're also stuck between timelines somehow.]
...everyone but Cloud has acknowledged I'm not with them anymore. I guess I'm a little worried about the consequences of coming back. [but she does think she wants to.]
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Well. Do you think chance encounters are fate, too?
[ it's something he's been asked before. ]
If you do, then all of this happening—the opportunity to change things and survive—is fate too.
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...yeah. But does that really make them chance if they're meant to happen? [a thought.] I understand where you're going with this though. Just because nothing could be done yet where we're from doesn't mean it can't be changed here. That goes for you too, doesn't it?
[she has heard a few things on nehan's view of what he was doing with his life.]
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I don't bother fighting the hand of fate. That's the only reason I'm here in the first place. [ sometimes you just join a cult because it's there. ] I assume you all will be a little less happy to just accept circumstances as they come.
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I think it's more the fact that even if these circumstances come, we don't know what the end will be. So people are going to try different things. [people. not necessarily her because she's not entirely there yet, but people.]
Do you think the hand of fate is what brought you to this point, too? [not just the cult, but like. dying for the cult.]
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Then I hope that effort turns out worthwhile.
[ maybe if they try hard enough, a path will open where one wasn't before. or they can at least all die knowing they tried. either way. ]
Anyway, I do think that. Maybe fate brought me here to help you. Or maybe it's just so I die here. Maybe there's no reason for it at all. It doesn't matter to me either way. [ he is resigned to whatever happens. ]
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...Nehan, do you no longer have ambitions of your own? [she doesn't even mean this rudely despite how it sounds, she's just curious how he can be in a mode where "whatever happens happens and who cares."
it's an attempt to understand him better, and maybe a way to skew her own thinking for the coming weeks.]
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[ he doesn't take it rudely. it's a fair enough question, and he answers without having to think it over. ]
Not that I encourage anyone to live by my example.
[ THIS IS NOT HEALTHY ]
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