[ this is such a specific thing to relate to, aerith ]
Have you...? [ hmmm ] I can't rule it out as a possibility. Our situation is changing, and our connection to them does seem stronger now. Just keep your expectations tempered.
[ but the rest gives him pause. ]
We haven't told anyone about our presence here yet. For caution's sake. [ besides the other overseers, of course. ] Do you want them to move on, or to be saved?
[looks at her other conversations with nehan so far. listen man you keep hitting her with specific examples idk what to tell you. but there's a slow nod because she realizes that really does sound unhinged. so she's going to try to explain even if that also sounds unhinged.]
...I was killed. That's a fact. But something happened and now I don't...really know where I am? No one else can see me, even if some of them can feel me. I'm still able to be on the planet, and Cloud...can see me. And hear me. I don't think he fully knows what happened. Like a different reality where he managed to save me. [and it's why she has not told him she's actually dead. but beyond that.] But recently he told me he saw Zack, too. And Zack's been gone for a little while. So...if we're in the same situation, then it feels like we're both in the lifestream and we're not. If Cloud was able to see both of us, and hear and talk to both of us...[well there's entirely the possibility that cloud's fucking insane, but she's thinking more about red who definitely felt she was there and petting him.]
I don't have expectations, but I don't think we're hopeless in this situation either. I guess that's what I'm getting at. It makes sense not to tell anyone we're here in case that information falls in the wrong hands. [...] But if I had the option, I think everyone should be saved. I know that when it's a person's time, you can't change that. But I don't think that this is it. They all had their lives taken too soon, or they were removed from their own afterlives. They deserve the chance to regain what they lost.
[anyway before i get too derailed, this occurs until 3:28:28, minus zack's part in the middle.]
[ everyone and their very specific triggers... anyway i'm sorry this is late i had to learn how to write emotional gravitas again after rectangles
there's a lot to absorb about this scene without context, a world-shattering threat and the howls of an entire planet's worth of pain. that, and the framing of everything that aerith mentions gives him plenty to chew on when the scene ends, the tiniest furrow in his usually stoic brow. ]
...I'm usually a believer in fate. But I do think people have been taken very far from their paths, here.
[this is the funniest thing you could have said to me but also what a mood.
anyway yeah! sure is a lot to absorb, and she seems to be registering all of this fairly calmly, watching the memory back while nehan processes what he's seeing. everything happens a lot, and she's not fully sure of the question he'll ask, but when it comes she's not surprised either.]
Things that have happened here, for better or worse, were likely never part of the original plan. [so she agrees. this was absolutely spitting in the eye of fate whether one's defying it or believing in it.] That...was destiny's crossroads. The first time we crossed the gap to try and fight Sephiroth, and stop him from proceeding with his plan to destroy the planet. He's...there are ways he's able to control the flow of destiny now, I think. Those black figments you saw...the Whispers? They always appear when we try to stray from destiny's path. Sephiroth wants things to go a certain way so that he can destroy the planet and absorb the lifestream into himself. He wants to create a "forever." And it's up to us to stop him.
[ it's a little complicated, but he can get the gist of it. ]
Someone trying to take all of fate into his own hands... [ destroying the world in the process. ] Something drastic must have happened for him to go so far.
...about five years ago, something happened while he was on a mission. And he learned some things about himself that changed his way of thinking. They first said he went missing after that. And then they said he was killed in action. But recently he's come back to try and reclaim what he calls "his birthright." A dominion unbound by fate and histories unwritten. Says that it's his for the taking.
I know. [believe her, she knows it's insane.] I know some people probably thing this is a normal thing to happen in our world, but it's just as insane to us as everyone else. But it's the other reason I really, really need to do what I can to make sure Cloud and Yuffie get back.
[ he nods—stopping a guy who wants to destroy the planet who wants to create his own version of eternity seems like a good plan. and aerith did seem to understand what was going on more than her companions. ]
What about you?
Even leaving out those... questionable incentives, there's plenty of death defying here. Maybe they could bring you back.
[luckily she's had some time dealing with scien bullying her into thinking about this, so her answer is slightly different than it was previously.]
I'm not sure. It's...I think it was something that was supposed to happen. Like I knew this was my fate, once, but the Whispers took that knowledge from me. I can do what I can to help them in the lifestream but...Cloud said something about someone else we know who was dead. That he came to help him fight. I know what happened. Sephiroth came and there was no mistaking his sword. But lately I've been more unsure of where I am.
[like knowing you're dead but you're also stuck between timelines somehow.]
...everyone but Cloud has acknowledged I'm not with them anymore. I guess I'm a little worried about the consequences of coming back. [but she does think she wants to.]
[this is a very fair question because he asks and she stares at him like she hasn't got a clue in the world what she should say.]
...yeah. But does that really make them chance if they're meant to happen? [a thought.] I understand where you're going with this though. Just because nothing could be done yet where we're from doesn't mean it can't be changed here. That goes for you too, doesn't it?
[she has heard a few things on nehan's view of what he was doing with his life.]
I don't bother fighting the hand of fate. That's the only reason I'm here in the first place. [ sometimes you just join a cult because it's there. ] I assume you all will be a little less happy to just accept circumstances as they come.
[she tilts her head, apparently not bothered that she's asking personal questions.]
I think it's more the fact that even if these circumstances come, we don't know what the end will be. So people are going to try different things. [people. not necessarily her because she's not entirely there yet, but people.]
Do you think the hand of fate is what brought you to this point, too? [not just the cult, but like. dying for the cult.]
[ maybe if they try hard enough, a path will open where one wasn't before. or they can at least all die knowing they tried. either way. ]
Anyway, I do think that. Maybe fate brought me here to help you. Or maybe it's just so I die here. Maybe there's no reason for it at all. It doesn't matter to me either way. [ he is resigned to whatever happens. ]
Putting in the effort's better than waiting. [fight or die (again) trying, yeah!]
...Nehan, do you no longer have ambitions of your own? [she doesn't even mean this rudely despite how it sounds, she's just curious how he can be in a mode where "whatever happens happens and who cares."
it's an attempt to understand him better, and maybe a way to skew her own thinking for the coming weeks.]
Understandable. You can always want different or even better for other people than yourself. [also THIS IS NOT HEALTHY which is why she's going to be turbo annoying and keep asking.] But why not?
I've had ambitions. I've failed to reach them. I don't feel like finding new ones.
So I'll live, until I don't. Whatever happens in the meantime, I'm satisfied with. I think it works out in your favor that I don't want for too much, since I don't have any reason to betray you all.
[ to be clear this is all ridiculous but he says it with a straight face. sometimes your moniker is death because your will to live is nonexistent. ]
Maybe it works out that way, but it's just...I don't know. A little sad? [she shrugs.] You just suggested that maybe I could find my way back and reclaim my own ambitions. Don't you think the same could be said for you, too? There must be something you still want.
[ maybe it is sad, but he doesn't sound bothered beyond a tiny furrow of his brow now. ]
You and I don't have the same options. I've made my suggestions on what you should do, but they don't apply to me. Now, if you're done asking me about my life, I'd go about your day.
[ I WANT MY TY THREADS THOUGH i'm sorry he's so annoying cries ]
Maybe we don't. [she doesn't believe that but it's solely because aerith is stubborn and biased. she does know when to cut her losses though, so she stands up, smoothing out her skirt and clasping her hands together while giving him a quick nod.]
It's been a long day for both of us. But I'm sure we'll see each other plenty in the upcoming days, so I'll see myself out. Thank you, Nehan.
[no honestly kick her out because i want a new audience thread with you anyway so i'll be Back Tomorrow. she's also aware she's annoying sometimes, so she makes good on her word and with one more little wave she's out the door and shutting it behind her. nehan is safe...for now.]
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Have you...? [ hmmm ] I can't rule it out as a possibility. Our situation is changing, and our connection to them does seem stronger now. Just keep your expectations tempered.
[ but the rest gives him pause. ]
We haven't told anyone about our presence here yet. For caution's sake. [ besides the other overseers, of course. ] Do you want them to move on, or to be saved?
no subject
...I was killed. That's a fact. But something happened and now I don't...really know where I am? No one else can see me, even if some of them can feel me. I'm still able to be on the planet, and Cloud...can see me. And hear me. I don't think he fully knows what happened. Like a different reality where he managed to save me. [and it's why she has not told him she's actually dead. but beyond that.] But recently he told me he saw Zack, too. And Zack's been gone for a little while. So...if we're in the same situation, then it feels like we're both in the lifestream and we're not. If Cloud was able to see both of us, and hear and talk to both of us...[well there's entirely the possibility that cloud's fucking insane, but she's thinking more about red who definitely felt she was there and petting him.]
I don't have expectations, but I don't think we're hopeless in this situation either. I guess that's what I'm getting at. It makes sense not to tell anyone we're here in case that information falls in the wrong hands. [...] But if I had the option, I think everyone should be saved. I know that when it's a person's time, you can't change that. But I don't think that this is it. They all had their lives taken too soon, or they were removed from their own afterlives. They deserve the chance to regain what they lost.
[anyway before i get too derailed, this occurs until 3:28:28, minus zack's part in the middle.]
no subject
there's a lot to absorb about this scene without context, a world-shattering threat and the howls of an entire planet's worth of pain. that, and the framing of everything that aerith mentions gives him plenty to chew on when the scene ends, the tiniest furrow in his usually stoic brow. ]
...I'm usually a believer in fate. But I do think people have been taken very far from their paths, here.
[ ... ]
What was all that?
no subject
anyway yeah! sure is a lot to absorb, and she seems to be registering all of this fairly calmly, watching the memory back while nehan processes what he's seeing. everything happens a lot, and she's not fully sure of the question he'll ask, but when it comes she's not surprised either.]
Things that have happened here, for better or worse, were likely never part of the original plan. [so she agrees. this was absolutely spitting in the eye of fate whether one's defying it or believing in it.] That...was destiny's crossroads. The first time we crossed the gap to try and fight Sephiroth, and stop him from proceeding with his plan to destroy the planet. He's...there are ways he's able to control the flow of destiny now, I think. Those black figments you saw...the Whispers? They always appear when we try to stray from destiny's path. Sephiroth wants things to go a certain way so that he can destroy the planet and absorb the lifestream into himself. He wants to create a "forever." And it's up to us to stop him.
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Someone trying to take all of fate into his own hands... [ destroying the world in the process. ] Something drastic must have happened for him to go so far.
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Sounds... insane.
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I know. [believe her, she knows it's insane.] I know some people probably thing this is a normal thing to happen in our world, but it's just as insane to us as everyone else. But it's the other reason I really, really need to do what I can to make sure Cloud and Yuffie get back.
no subject
What about you?
Even leaving out those... questionable incentives, there's plenty of death defying here. Maybe they could bring you back.
It sounded like they could use your guidance.
no subject
I'm not sure. It's...I think it was something that was supposed to happen. Like I knew this was my fate, once, but the Whispers took that knowledge from me. I can do what I can to help them in the lifestream but...Cloud said something about someone else we know who was dead. That he came to help him fight. I know what happened. Sephiroth came and there was no mistaking his sword. But lately I've been more unsure of where I am.
[like knowing you're dead but you're also stuck between timelines somehow.]
...everyone but Cloud has acknowledged I'm not with them anymore. I guess I'm a little worried about the consequences of coming back. [but she does think she wants to.]
no subject
Well. Do you think chance encounters are fate, too?
[ it's something he's been asked before. ]
If you do, then all of this happening—the opportunity to change things and survive—is fate too.
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...yeah. But does that really make them chance if they're meant to happen? [a thought.] I understand where you're going with this though. Just because nothing could be done yet where we're from doesn't mean it can't be changed here. That goes for you too, doesn't it?
[she has heard a few things on nehan's view of what he was doing with his life.]
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I don't bother fighting the hand of fate. That's the only reason I'm here in the first place. [ sometimes you just join a cult because it's there. ] I assume you all will be a little less happy to just accept circumstances as they come.
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I think it's more the fact that even if these circumstances come, we don't know what the end will be. So people are going to try different things. [people. not necessarily her because she's not entirely there yet, but people.]
Do you think the hand of fate is what brought you to this point, too? [not just the cult, but like. dying for the cult.]
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Then I hope that effort turns out worthwhile.
[ maybe if they try hard enough, a path will open where one wasn't before. or they can at least all die knowing they tried. either way. ]
Anyway, I do think that. Maybe fate brought me here to help you. Or maybe it's just so I die here. Maybe there's no reason for it at all. It doesn't matter to me either way. [ he is resigned to whatever happens. ]
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...Nehan, do you no longer have ambitions of your own? [she doesn't even mean this rudely despite how it sounds, she's just curious how he can be in a mode where "whatever happens happens and who cares."
it's an attempt to understand him better, and maybe a way to skew her own thinking for the coming weeks.]
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[ he doesn't take it rudely. it's a fair enough question, and he answers without having to think it over. ]
Not that I encourage anyone to live by my example.
[ THIS IS NOT HEALTHY ]
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So I'll live, until I don't. Whatever happens in the meantime, I'm satisfied with. I think it works out in your favor that I don't want for too much, since I don't have any reason to betray you all.
[ to be clear this is all ridiculous but he says it with a straight face. sometimes your moniker is death because your will to live is nonexistent. ]
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[ maybe it is sad, but he doesn't sound bothered beyond a tiny furrow of his brow now. ]
You and I don't have the same options. I've made my suggestions on what you should do, but they don't apply to me. Now, if you're done asking me about my life, I'd go about your day.
[ I WANT MY TY THREADS THOUGH i'm sorry he's so annoying cries ]
no subject
It's been a long day for both of us. But I'm sure we'll see each other plenty in the upcoming days, so I'll see myself out. Thank you, Nehan.
[no honestly kick her out because i want a new audience thread with you anyway so i'll be Back Tomorrow. she's also aware she's annoying sometimes, so she makes good on her word and with one more little wave she's out the door and shutting it behind her. nehan is safe...for now.]