[YEAH HE'S NOT GOING TO LIKE THIS!!!!! He's already just sitting here like :manstanding: before getting whopped with the memory but remembering an alternate reality version of himself from a completely different person's perspective is A LOT TO TAKE IN AND THAT'S JUST SCRATCHING THE SURFACE!!!!
The rest is the content of the memory itself. A desperate plea - one he's all too familiar with, given it's his own, and he's voiced it before. But watching it from this pragmatic window, from the eyes of a god looking down upon a horrible, bloody violent mess, is quite the opposite.
These hands haven't reached out to him before, but they do here and now. The young man's words that this Lucas had clung to are words he doesn't know. This miracle was never granted to him.
Neither was a gentle detox or fucking THERAPY SO HE'S JUST STANDING THERE AS THE MEMORY ENDS. Quiet, quiet, still as a corpse, and then:]
scien wasn't hiding to begin with. short of giving away his name and face, he treated lucas as straightforwardly as possible. every inquiry, every question, it was simply to get a better sense of where this lucas is in his journey of rehabilitation. the answer? he hadn't even begun.
but that's exactly how scien found him the first time.
so he peels off the mask and shrugs off the hood. those bright blue reliver pupils reveal themselves, and this time scien doesn't reach out when lucas's brain is probably once again being blown apart by his entire world being rocked. but he only partially reveals himself because he hates secrecy, or finds it more trouble than it's worth.
mostly: ] Your last false god never bothered to show their face. This is the least I can do for you.
I refuse to have parallels drawn between myself and that incompetent Ortie.
But it's undeniable - there he is. The mask is off, the hood is down, and it's Scien Brofiise, the man responsible for so much heartache. A face he'd gotten to know, briefly - that period of time when he'd led everyone around by the nose looking for a phantom they were already with. Rosy hair, arrogant countenance, with eyes that bore through him and yet still didn't see.
Those eyes, those bright eyes. Pupils that denote a Reliver.
Even though he's managed to work through to a halflife point and no longer has a system saturated with drugs, and even though he's coming to recognize - if not quite yet confront - the insanity in his own logic, it still triggers something inside of him.
Lucas barely even waits for him to finish speaking before he's immediately darting forward with the full intent to fucking roundhouse kick him into a tree or something god.]
[ i rolled a 6 so scien finally gets a fucking taste of his own medicine
which is to say that he partially expected this, so he doesn't immediately die on sight, but also if there's anyone who knows how dangerous his own dog is at this point, then it's him. he barely manages to block even some of the force from the kick before he does collide with the tree, looking distinctly annoyed. he will bruise from this but luckily he wouldn't do strip check either.
he rubs at his arms as he finds his feet quickly after, now properly on guard ]
[HE REALLY JUST KICKED GOD INTO A TREE well this is fine.
Lucas doesn't have a weapon but even though he wishes he did, he knows he doesn't need one! Nightmare creature! He drops into a stance that makes it very clear he's || this close to just ferally attacking in front of god and satan, normally placid expression twisting into something furious because this goes beyond his kneejerk ingrained anti-Reliver response.]
Why have you brought me here? Where is Nadia?!
[DAMN HE CAN'T BELIEVE HE WAS RIGHT ABOUT SCIEN KNOCKING HIM OUT AND DROPPING HIM IN CULT DAYCARE, IT'S ALWAYS FUCKING SCIEN.]
I understand that this is the shorthand that your brain is providing to you, but breathe for five seconds. There's clearly no oxygen flowing to your already scattered brain.
[ okay rudeass. imagine being this condescending to the person who could snap your spine in half. scien dusts himself off, and his tone is as measured and easy as ever. he's actually quiet for the next ten seconds just to see if lucas can breathe a little bit more before he speaks. ]
None of this is my doing. We're from different timelines. In yours, she's probably fine because you killed a man in cold blood for her medicine.
[ he's being less gentle about this than before because he's annoyed because he got kicked into a tree. well. that's the downside of having his emotions back. ]
In mine, she's been fine for three years. Her rehabilitation is going well, and she's taking walks outside with the help of a cane.
Before your stupid, clearly still brainwashed ass got summoned, I was ready to never see you again.
[HE TRULY SAID GLOVES OFF BECAUSE HE GOT KICKED INTO A TREE this is fine though, considering he expects unkindness from SCIEN BROFIISE KING OF DEMONS.
He does, at least, not immediately attack again in the span of those ten seconds even though he's also clearly not doing anything to breathe or calm himself down in that time either. HE'S JUST THERE, TENSE AND READY TO KILL. This is also partially because of his (looks at writing on hand) violent and bloodthirsty impulses. A bitch can never get a break.
Anyway, after Scien is done explaining the very real truth, Lucas just doubles down because this all sounds insane to him.]
What makes you think I would believe any of this?
[Except for the part where Nadia is probably fine but he also needs to get BACK THERE AND MAKE SURE SHE'S FINE BECAUSE CAPUCINE WAS CAPUCINING AND SCIEN WAS SCIENING.]
He's clearly wracking his brain for something here, and is a little discomforted when no immediate, glaring examples come to mind. Nothing he's said has been expressly proven wrong, but... all the same, there are plenty of things that haven't been proven expressly correct, either. Damn what if Scien actually killed Nehan.......
The flicker of reflexive fury seems to stem a little at least, even if the extreme wariness remains. There are a lot of points he could start with here, but he chooses:]
[ there's a briefly withering look because he really is sitting here like you've been here three weeks and don't realize your memories fail to align. okay. cool. neat. scien is surrounded by morons.
but he sighs and makes statements that he thinks will prove things the most immediately:]
I'm 26 years old, 86 if you consider the years that stopped before I updated Relivers to age. [ a beat ] In my timeline, Nadia is already 15. She felt well enough to celebrate her birthday with a small group, and could go to bed at a normal child's bedtime. She didn't need medical care, or to stop the gathering from shortness of breath. She was very happy.
[ a pointed stare ]
One of the guests was obviously you. You are 25 years old.
[LISTEN SOMETIMES THE ONLY THINGS THEY TALK ABOUT ARE CERES BEING IN TROUBLE (VAGUE) WHICH IS ALWAYS HAPPENING IN EVERY TIMELINE.
Anyway he's back to looking Mad because this is SO HARD TO BELIEVE. Updating Relivers to age? A happy and healthy Nadia?? Him living past 23??? HELLO. He's at least been exposed to different worlds so the idea of different versions of the same world isn't brain-breaking, but what the hell kind of idealistic-to-the-point-of-insanity reality is this.
...
But at the same time, it's so fucking far-fetched that it gives him pause because surely a supergenius could come up with a better lie. But maybe lying badly for sport is just a thing a king demon would do for the fun of it?? This is about the point where he'd be swinging his halberd Scien's way if he had it.]
Then you're claiming that "you" weren't the one who knocked me unconscious?
[HELLO??? HE??? HE IS THE ONE WHO'S BEING A PAIN????? He wants to crack Scien's head open like a coconut and only barely manages to suppress the urge.]
You weren't trying to "talk reason" to anyone. [BINCH YOU WERE THE ROUTE VILLAIN HE'S IN THE RIGHT THIS TIME (he doesn't know scien becomes the route villain) maybe so...]
You barged in, flung accusations at the minister and then threw a smoke bomb into the room.
[LIKE A MANIAC. "There were a lot of things that Scien said that stuck with him and haunt him especially now that he's detoxing" maybe so...]
Yes. [ just yes. ] That sounds like me, and I'm trying to talk reason to you now. So listen closely. Because those accusations were statements of fact. Your minister is a freak holding your sister hostage to control you, and when you die, he'll experiment on her more blatantly because he's obsessed with genes.
So following my own logic, I probably chose to knock you unconscious before he could order you to kill me—claiming it to be an order from God. Isn't that right, Bourreau?
[ scien massages his shoulder out now, before taking a step forward to face lucas, challenging. ]
Now, your turn for a quiz, Professeur.
Who told you Relivers are demons?
Why was your head always foggy after receiving your so-called medicine? [ scien taps at his own neck now, recalling the injection site scarring he noticed when treating his own lucas ]
And why is it, presumably three weeks after your last dose, you're so heartbroken now?
[Despite the fact that he could truly turn Scien into a smear even nerfed, he takes a reflexive step back. Once again there is SO MUCH HAPPENING IN HIS POOR BROKEN BRAIN.
He's always concerned whenever Nadia is involved, and even he can recall the delicate threat laced through Capucine's words before Scien had interrupted them. The death row inmate, Ortie, obsessed with genes to the point that he'd been ordered to capture Ceres and leave Yves behind...
But the thing is... if that's true, then he led Nadia right into the hands of something even worse than a demon. If it's true, there's no doubt that he's a sinner, a monster beyond compare - someone who would never be able to see Nadia after dying, because there would simply be no way for their souls to go to the same place. If Scien Brofiise is telling the truth, it would mean that every other truth he's known in his life has always, and will always be, a lie.
He may be riding low on the miserable cold turkey detox train but there are still years of brainwashing to undo that make it feel so much easier to shut down these possibilities and continue blaming Scien, even though the sense of unease in him is stronger than it's ever felt. Tersely, through a tense jaw, he only has one single thing to say in response to all these questions his fragile mind can't handle.]
[ when he's ready to confront every single horrible truth that just got rolled in front of him.
though scien moves on quickly after, as he always does. ]
My aim is the same as it ever was. To stop this ritual and get you all home safely.
Now that we're done playing pretend, I can now also say very specifically: I will be getting you and the Claude brat back safely. What you do afterward isn't particularly relevant to me.
[WHEN WILL THAT BE... GOOD QUESTION... PROBABLY NOT ANY TIME SOON AS HE LEAPS FROM BRAINWASHING DETOX INTO POSSESSION TOWN.
He just ignores the first part summarily, but at least some of his hostility ebbs a bit. He's still tense and insanely on his guard, but it's warier and more cautious as opposed to toeing the line of kneejerk violence.]
But getting the two of us back home is? ...I do at least believe in your group's collective efforts. [Even if his brainwashed ass really struggles with the concept of trusting Scien.] But we're hardly your charges.
Let me make sure I understand. From your current perspective, I am the originator and inventor of all those people who you call demons. The Relivers you think you needed to kill. I am the source of the poison in our society that ignored you and your sister, because what I created was abused by people who are callous and lazy.
To you, I probably have no reason to care about anything I deem beneath me, and thus all of my actions here have been nonsensical.
All of that is exactly the way his crazy little brain works, though it irks him to hear it, somehow. It really doesn't make any sense to him at all, why Scien would care for any of them. For anything.]
Are you not the one who instructs the children to think for themselves? To weigh all information, and then carefully come to their conclusions instead of getting swept up in hearsay?
[ so, yes. sort of. it's sort of incorrect. ]
I am not going to pretend that I am a good person. That I am not worthy of some of the scorn you feel—but I also don't believe in turning people into Relivers against their will, or ignoring the practice of basic medicine to abuse my technology. Those idiots who turned you away are no better than the Royals were.
I understand that the notions that you've been fed for the past eight years will make what I'm about to tell you harder to believe, regardless of their veracity.
[ he cants his head to the side, and his eyes focus on lucas. ]
Will you listen? Because I don't care to waste my breath.
[There's a whiplike flash of anger that crosses his face on hearing that, there and gone in a blink. As Scien continues to speak, his expression rests caught somewhere between that ingrained, reflexive disgust and the complex bundle of everything else he can't even begin to untangle just yet.
Even these words are hard to believe. That he's not a good person? Of course. That he's worthy of scorn? More than some, as far as he's concerned. But it's hard to separate the people who would abuse Reliver technology so flagrantly from its creator, especially in his mind.
All the same.]
...I'll listen.
[Curt, but at least not a complete shut-down of conversation. There is perhaps just enough of a seed of doubt and just enough of a weakening of the drug in his system that he can fight against the impulse to end the conversation here and now by putting Scien's head through the ground.]
Then the Claude brat is important to someone that I have become responsible for. [ oh claude one you little freak ] I've also been invested in his... situation for a while already. So I will lend him my aid, after he cried out to me for help, and answer his request.
[ scien fixed mathis once, and he will do it again. however, he has no clue how much lucas knows about that, so he will keep it vague. ]
As for you...
[ this one will feel impossible for lucas to stomach. scien prepares himself to be annoyed, but in the end, it doesn't matter what lucas does or doesn't believe. it does not change his own perspective. ]
You saw it. You called out to me for help, and I took your hand. Since then, I have spent nearly every day of the past three years with you. After healing your sister, I saved you and kept you on as my bodyguard. I do not tell you this with the expectation that you owe me anything. But to me, it is simple.
In another life, you are mine. [ not romantically, not platonically, but some other, menacing and life-altering third thing ] Even if you do not feel any such allegiance to me, I don't care. I respect the you that needed me enough that I will not abandon you now.
[ because scien can count on one hand the number of people who have helped him, who have done anything for him at all. and he always sees his debts through. ]
[Unfortunately Lucas knows too much about it but that kind of works a little in Scien's favor, in the sense that Scien being invested or interested in such a weirdass problem makes... sense. It's a believable thing to hear from him.
THE REST SURE ISN'T, THOUGH!!
He just stares with a sort of blankness, because it really is like PUTTING THE ROUND PEG IN THE SQUARE HOLE IT JUST DOESN'T MAKE SENSE. Even though he did see it - he saw himself, desperate and reaching out once more, hoping for that hand of salvation yet again - it's hard to believe. Grasping the idea that Scien Brofiise of all people had healed his sister is already hard enough, let alone the notion that they would spend so much time together, that he'd work in his service, that he, too, would be saved.
These extremely fucking banger lines are tragically lost on him, just because he's so shell-shocked to hear them at all.
You chose me once, and I will choose you always.
In another life, you are mine.
But in this life, to whom does he belong? He'd reached out to God and it felt like his prayers had been answered yet again, but with everything he learns and hears, with every newly unblunted emotion he feels, he's watching the painting of a picture so horrific that the mere subconscious thought of it shreds him to pieces.
If he doesn't keep rejecting these truths, there won't be anything left of him.]
...I don't understand. [Quiet, but more distant than the last time he'd said these words to Scien not that long ago.] It doesn't make sense... None of that makes sense. You don't make sense, if what you're saying is true.
[But his logical mind can't piece together a reason for such a bizarre lie.]
Is it that I do not make sense? Or that the truth of who I am does not align with what you've assumed of me?
[ throughout this entire conversation, scien's voice has remained even. it does not matter to him that just moments ago, lucas knocked him into a tree. that one false move can lead to the person who is normally his bodyguard being the one to crush his head in. while scien has enough presence of mind to not intend to die, he lacks any true malice for lucas's resistance to the truth.
it was just easier when he could hire a therapist to do the work of this untangling for him. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
The rest is the content of the memory itself. A desperate plea - one he's all too familiar with, given it's his own, and he's voiced it before. But watching it from this pragmatic window, from the eyes of a god looking down upon a horrible, bloody violent mess, is quite the opposite.
These hands haven't reached out to him before, but they do here and now. The young man's words that this Lucas had clung to are words he doesn't know. This miracle was never granted to him.
Neither was a gentle detox or fucking THERAPY SO HE'S JUST STANDING THERE AS THE MEMORY ENDS. Quiet, quiet, still as a corpse, and then:]
Scien... Brofiise...
[Oh boy.]
no subject
scien wasn't hiding to begin with. short of giving away his name and face, he treated lucas as straightforwardly as possible. every inquiry, every question, it was simply to get a better sense of where this lucas is in his journey of rehabilitation. the answer? he hadn't even begun.
but that's exactly how scien found him the first time.
so he peels off the mask and shrugs off the hood. those bright blue reliver pupils reveal themselves, and this time scien doesn't reach out when lucas's brain is probably once again being blown apart by his entire world being rocked. but he only partially reveals himself because he hates secrecy, or finds it more trouble than it's worth.
mostly: ] Your last false god never bothered to show their face. This is the least I can do for you.
I refuse to have parallels drawn between myself and that incompetent Ortie.
[ that is just so fucking offensive? ]
no subject
But it's undeniable - there he is. The mask is off, the hood is down, and it's Scien Brofiise, the man responsible for so much heartache. A face he'd gotten to know, briefly - that period of time when he'd led everyone around by the nose looking for a phantom they were already with. Rosy hair, arrogant countenance, with eyes that bore through him and yet still didn't see.
Those eyes, those bright eyes. Pupils that denote a Reliver.
Even though he's managed to work through to a halflife point and no longer has a system saturated with drugs, and even though he's coming to recognize - if not quite yet confront - the insanity in his own logic, it still triggers something inside of him.
Lucas barely even waits for him to finish speaking before he's immediately darting forward with the full intent to fucking roundhouse kick him into a tree or something god.]
no subject
which is to say that he partially expected this, so he doesn't immediately die on sight, but also if there's anyone who knows how dangerous his own dog is at this point, then it's him. he barely manages to block even some of the force from the kick before he does collide with the tree, looking distinctly annoyed. he will bruise from this but luckily he wouldn't do strip check either.
he rubs at his arms as he finds his feet quickly after, now properly on guard ]
Fine. Get it out of your system.
no subject
Lucas doesn't have a weapon but even though he wishes he did, he knows he doesn't need one! Nightmare creature! He drops into a stance that makes it very clear he's || this close to just ferally attacking in front of god and satan, normally placid expression twisting into something furious because this goes beyond his kneejerk ingrained anti-Reliver response.]
Why have you brought me here? Where is Nadia?!
[DAMN HE CAN'T BELIEVE HE WAS RIGHT ABOUT SCIEN KNOCKING HIM OUT AND DROPPING HIM IN CULT DAYCARE, IT'S ALWAYS FUCKING SCIEN.]
no subject
[ okay rudeass. imagine being this condescending to the person who could snap your spine in half. scien dusts himself off, and his tone is as measured and easy as ever. he's actually quiet for the next ten seconds just to see if lucas can breathe a little bit more before he speaks. ]
None of this is my doing. We're from different timelines. In yours, she's probably fine because you killed a man in cold blood for her medicine.
[ he's being less gentle about this than before because he's annoyed because he got kicked into a tree. well. that's the downside of having his emotions back. ]
In mine, she's been fine for three years. Her rehabilitation is going well, and she's taking walks outside with the help of a cane.
Before your stupid, clearly still brainwashed ass got summoned, I was ready to never see you again.
no subject
He does, at least, not immediately attack again in the span of those ten seconds even though he's also clearly not doing anything to breathe or calm himself down in that time either. HE'S JUST THERE, TENSE AND READY TO KILL. This is also partially because of his (looks at writing on hand) violent and bloodthirsty impulses. A bitch can never get a break.
Anyway, after Scien is done explaining the very real truth, Lucas just doubles down because this all sounds insane to him.]
What makes you think I would believe any of this?
[Except for the part where Nadia is probably fine but he also needs to get BACK THERE AND MAKE SURE SHE'S FINE BECAUSE CAPUCINE WAS CAPUCINING AND SCIEN WAS SCIENING.]
no subject
When have I lied to you?
[ a simple question. lucas is free to have his biases. scien knows exactly where they're starting off with.
but in the past three weeks, despite being hooded and masked, only one person here has been telling lie after lie. ]
Do not mistake me for you.
no subject
He's clearly wracking his brain for something here, and is a little discomforted when no immediate, glaring examples come to mind. Nothing he's said has been expressly proven wrong, but... all the same, there are plenty of things that haven't been proven expressly correct, either. Damn what if Scien actually killed Nehan.......
The flicker of reflexive fury seems to stem a little at least, even if the extreme wariness remains. There are a lot of points he could start with here, but he chooses:]
...What do you mean, "different timelines"?
[HE AND MATHIS HAVEN'T FIGURED IT OOOOOOOUT.]
no subject
but he sighs and makes statements that he thinks will prove things the most immediately:]
I'm 26 years old, 86 if you consider the years that stopped before I updated Relivers to age. [ a beat ] In my timeline, Nadia is already 15. She felt well enough to celebrate her birthday with a small group, and could go to bed at a normal child's bedtime. She didn't need medical care, or to stop the gathering from shortness of breath. She was very happy.
[ a pointed stare ]
One of the guests was obviously you. You are 25 years old.
no subject
Anyway he's back to looking Mad because this is SO HARD TO BELIEVE. Updating Relivers to age? A happy and healthy Nadia?? Him living past 23??? HELLO. He's at least been exposed to different worlds so the idea of different versions of the same world isn't brain-breaking, but what the hell kind of idealistic-to-the-point-of-insanity reality is this.
...
But at the same time, it's so fucking far-fetched that it gives him pause because surely a supergenius could come up with a better lie. But maybe lying badly for sport is just a thing a king demon would do for the fun of it?? This is about the point where he'd be swinging his halberd Scien's way if he had it.]
Then you're claiming that "you" weren't the one who knocked me unconscious?
[A LIKELY STORY.]
[1/2]
[ TO BE VERY CLEAR ]
I would probably do that because clearly trying to talk reason to you is a pain. This is a pain.
no subject
What was the last exchange that you recall? Because you pleading for help and my answering your call was the very first time we met.
In my experience.
no subject
You weren't trying to "talk reason" to anyone. [BINCH YOU WERE THE ROUTE VILLAIN HE'S IN THE RIGHT THIS TIME (he doesn't know scien becomes the route villain) maybe so...]
You barged in, flung accusations at the minister and then threw a smoke bomb into the room.
[LIKE A MANIAC. "There were a lot of things that Scien said that stuck with him and haunt him especially now that he's detoxing" maybe so...]
no subject
So following my own logic, I probably chose to knock you unconscious before he could order you to kill me—claiming it to be an order from God. Isn't that right, Bourreau?
[ scien massages his shoulder out now, before taking a step forward to face lucas, challenging. ]
Now, your turn for a quiz, Professeur.
Who told you Relivers are demons?
Why was your head always foggy after receiving your so-called medicine? [ scien taps at his own neck now, recalling the injection site scarring he noticed when treating his own lucas ]
And why is it, presumably three weeks after your last dose, you're so heartbroken now?
no subject
He's always concerned whenever Nadia is involved, and even he can recall the delicate threat laced through Capucine's words before Scien had interrupted them. The death row inmate, Ortie, obsessed with genes to the point that he'd been ordered to capture Ceres and leave Yves behind...
But the thing is... if that's true, then he led Nadia right into the hands of something even worse than a demon. If it's true, there's no doubt that he's a sinner, a monster beyond compare - someone who would never be able to see Nadia after dying, because there would simply be no way for their souls to go to the same place. If Scien Brofiise is telling the truth, it would mean that every other truth he's known in his life has always, and will always be, a lie.
He may be riding low on the miserable cold turkey detox train but there are still years of brainwashing to undo that make it feel so much easier to shut down these possibilities and continue blaming Scien, even though the sense of unease in him is stronger than it's ever felt. Tersely, through a tense jaw, he only has one single thing to say in response to all these questions his fragile mind can't handle.]
What is your aim?
no subject
[ when he's ready to confront every single horrible truth that just got rolled in front of him.
though scien moves on quickly after, as he always does. ]
My aim is the same as it ever was. To stop this ritual and get you all home safely.
Now that we're done playing pretend, I can now also say very specifically: I will be getting you and the Claude brat back safely. What you do afterward isn't particularly relevant to me.
no subject
He just ignores the first part summarily, but at least some of his hostility ebbs a bit. He's still tense and insanely on his guard, but it's warier and more cautious as opposed to toeing the line of kneejerk violence.]
But getting the two of us back home is? ...I do at least believe in your group's collective efforts. [Even if his brainwashed ass really struggles with the concept of trusting Scien.] But we're hardly your charges.
no subject
[ be nice ]
Let me make sure I understand. From your current perspective, I am the originator and inventor of all those people who you call demons. The Relivers you think you needed to kill. I am the source of the poison in our society that ignored you and your sister, because what I created was abused by people who are callous and lazy.
To you, I probably have no reason to care about anything I deem beneath me, and thus all of my actions here have been nonsensical.
Is that right?
no subject
All of that is exactly the way his crazy little brain works, though it irks him to hear it, somehow. It really doesn't make any sense to him at all, why Scien would care for any of them. For anything.]
You're saying that this is incorrect, then?
no subject
[ so, yes. sort of. it's sort of incorrect. ]
I am not going to pretend that I am a good person. That I am not worthy of some of the scorn you feel—but I also don't believe in turning people into Relivers against their will, or ignoring the practice of basic medicine to abuse my technology. Those idiots who turned you away are no better than the Royals were.
I understand that the notions that you've been fed for the past eight years will make what I'm about to tell you harder to believe, regardless of their veracity.
[ he cants his head to the side, and his eyes focus on lucas. ]
Will you listen? Because I don't care to waste my breath.
no subject
Even these words are hard to believe. That he's not a good person? Of course. That he's worthy of scorn? More than some, as far as he's concerned. But it's hard to separate the people who would abuse Reliver technology so flagrantly from its creator, especially in his mind.
All the same.]
...I'll listen.
[Curt, but at least not a complete shut-down of conversation. There is perhaps just enough of a seed of doubt and just enough of a weakening of the drug in his system that he can fight against the impulse to end the conversation here and now by putting Scien's head through the ground.]
no subject
[ scien fixed mathis once, and he will do it again. however, he has no clue how much lucas knows about that, so he will keep it vague. ]
As for you...
[ this one will feel impossible for lucas to stomach. scien prepares himself to be annoyed, but in the end, it doesn't matter what lucas does or doesn't believe. it does not change his own perspective. ]
You saw it. You called out to me for help, and I took your hand. Since then, I have spent nearly every day of the past three years with you. After healing your sister, I saved you and kept you on as my bodyguard. I do not tell you this with the expectation that you owe me anything. But to me, it is simple.
In another life, you are mine. [ not romantically, not platonically, but some other, menacing and life-altering third thing ] Even if you do not feel any such allegiance to me, I don't care. I respect the you that needed me enough that I will not abandon you now.
[ because scien can count on one hand the number of people who have helped him, who have done anything for him at all. and he always sees his debts through. ]
You chose me once, and I will choose you always.
no subject
THE REST SURE ISN'T, THOUGH!!
He just stares with a sort of blankness, because it really is like PUTTING THE ROUND PEG IN THE SQUARE HOLE IT JUST DOESN'T MAKE SENSE. Even though he did see it - he saw himself, desperate and reaching out once more, hoping for that hand of salvation yet again - it's hard to believe. Grasping the idea that Scien Brofiise of all people had healed his sister is already hard enough, let alone the notion that they would spend so much time together, that he'd work in his service, that he, too, would be saved.
These extremely fucking banger lines are tragically lost on him, just because he's so shell-shocked to hear them at all.
You chose me once, and I will choose you always.
In another life, you are mine.
But in this life, to whom does he belong? He'd reached out to God and it felt like his prayers had been answered yet again, but with everything he learns and hears, with every newly unblunted emotion he feels, he's watching the painting of a picture so horrific that the mere subconscious thought of it shreds him to pieces.
If he doesn't keep rejecting these truths, there won't be anything left of him.]
...I don't understand. [Quiet, but more distant than the last time he'd said these words to Scien not that long ago.] It doesn't make sense... None of that makes sense. You don't make sense, if what you're saying is true.
[But his logical mind can't piece together a reason for such a bizarre lie.]
no subject
[ throughout this entire conversation, scien's voice has remained even. it does not matter to him that just moments ago, lucas knocked him into a tree. that one false move can lead to the person who is normally his bodyguard being the one to crush his head in. while scien has enough presence of mind to not intend to die, he lacks any true malice for lucas's resistance to the truth.
it was just easier when he could hire a therapist to do the work of this untangling for him. ]
What is it about me that you struggle to believe?
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)