The world is very dangerous right now. Many of us will likely die. I want to see it through, set things right, ensure a future for all of my friends. After that, I don't know that it matters.
If I could continue existing and be free of Delilah after that's done, then I'd be happy. But I don't think I can help bring about that world without her assistance, so better to move on from it.
[ to pursue a future for others, even though she might not have her own. even though she saw an experience without the shadow of delilah over her shoulder, and is even living one now.
[ laudna is so valid to be mad, though famine's tone remains curious. a bit confused. trying to follow the complicated sentiments laden with trauma and emotion is a bit of a maze and they do not have nearly enough tact to handle it gently ]
I wasn't able to make it without her. I tried, but eventually I lost control and tapped back into the power she had offered. That's why I brought her back. But I didn't intend to.
[she felt awful for it, in fact.]
I just wasn't strong enough to resist her. And I don't think trying to get away from her will work, anyway. Not with the world as dangerous as it is... that's why I need her.
I was born with innate magic, so outside of this place, I can do quite a bit of it...
But she was a brilliant wizard tied to a powerful god. The abilities she had at the height of her power were more than I could ever do on my own. And I get frightened easily, sometimes. When I'm with my friends, it's not so bad, but when I'm alone, I get very frightened. I need her power so no one can hurt me.
Oh. Yes, that's the primary reason why. I'm constantly terrified! You would have to be crazy not to be, when you know how bad it's possible for things to be.
I've already died many times. I won't rush to it, and I will always choose life, but I can't say I'm afraid of losing out on time.
My friends are dead, my goals are accomplished, and I just need you all to get through cult ritual. But even if I die, Pesto and Wario are competent, so I'm not exceedingly worried.
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[it's complicated.]
The world is very dangerous right now. Many of us will likely die. I want to see it through, set things right, ensure a future for all of my friends. After that, I don't know that it matters.
If I could continue existing and be free of Delilah after that's done, then I'd be happy. But I don't think I can help bring about that world without her assistance, so better to move on from it.
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[ to pursue a future for others, even though she might not have her own. even though she saw an experience without the shadow of delilah over her shoulder, and is even living one now.
that prompts famine to ask: ]
Is she here with you? This 'Delilah'.
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[which was actually terrifying.]
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[ a thoughtful pause ]
If you could find her again here, would you take her into yourself? Is that the level of codependent you're at?
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I doubt I'd get much of a say in that. I never have.
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[ brings a hand up to their chin in thought ]
I see you're a person who isn't honest with yourself.
[ continues to be judgey i guess ]
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I didn't bring her back on purpose. I didn't want her back. It was a mistake.
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But did you not say earlier that you need her...?
[ laudna is so valid to be mad, though famine's tone remains curious. a bit confused. trying to follow the complicated sentiments laden with trauma and emotion is a bit of a maze and they do not have nearly enough tact to handle it gently ]
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[she felt awful for it, in fact.]
I just wasn't strong enough to resist her. And I don't think trying to get away from her will work, anyway. Not with the world as dangerous as it is... that's why I need her.
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To me, it seems that you are making it here without her.
But if you believe there is no choice but to proceed by leaning on her, then I suppose that is the only path forward for you.
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But she was a brilliant wizard tied to a powerful god. The abilities she had at the height of her power were more than I could ever do on my own. And I get frightened easily, sometimes. When I'm with my friends, it's not so bad, but when I'm alone, I get very frightened. I need her power so no one can hurt me.
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[ it just keeps happening ]
I didn't think that one of the reasons for why you depend on her would be that you're a scaredy cat.
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Oh. Yes, that's the primary reason why. I'm constantly terrified! You would have to be crazy not to be, when you know how bad it's possible for things to be.
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I am not familiar with fear.
[ so they count as crazy. not surprising ]
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[that's frankly kind of incredibly.]
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No. I don't have much to fear. Though I do not think most people would find it enviable.
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[it's just hard to understand, she's afraid of so much.]
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... because there is nothing I cherish so much that I am afraid of losing it, I suppose.
I feel annoyance when things get in my way. Frustration when answers don't come. But fear is not in the equation.
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[well. that does sound less than idea, yes.]
Nothing at all? Not even your life?
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My friends are dead, my goals are accomplished, and I just need you all to get through cult ritual. But even if I die, Pesto and Wario are competent, so I'm not exceedingly worried.