audience: astarion

[mygod]

Comments

[mygod]

[ it's a nice robe, brent. they seem at home in it, very good. ]

There isn't anything better than an elegant blue robe. Come here.

[haematocritical]

[ dnd looking robe over here. ]

I could argue the same about red.

[ but fine ok he will wander over. ]

[mygod]

[ damn, maybe magic users other than dnd have cool robes???

they reach up to fix astarion's collar and the shoulders a bit. ]

There. I think a red sash would suit it nicely.

[haematocritical]

[ hmmmmmmm. doubt. ]

…

[ he goes a little still because physical touch is still ??? something, but his shoulders do relax when all war does is neaten his collar and fix perceived flaws on his shoulders. ]

Red, black and gold is a classic combination. Not unlike your blues and silvers.

[mygod]

They don't suit me, but I will admit they make good coordination. One moment.

[ they will disappear (into retail) again for a minute and then return with a scarlet sash embroidered by a leaf-like design. ]

Here.

[haematocritical]

I will take your word for it.

[ 🧍‍♂️


oh. he will take the sash and affix it into place. once it’s smoothed out and sat correctly, he’ll do a little twirl. tah dah. ]

Well, it’s a vast improvement over cult robes or a week old outfit, that’s for sure.

[mygod]

Not bad.

[ better than the shitty cult robes, yes. ]

Ah, yes. You've forgotten something.

[ they pull something out of the robe. a pair of sunglasses. they put them right onto astarion's face. ]

There.

[haematocritical]

[ anything is better than the shitty cult robes. ]

Hmmmm.

[ astarion pulls the sunglasses down his nose -- going a little crosseyed so he can see the shape of the lenses -- before pushing them back up his nose and peering over them. ]

Ha ha.

-- Oh, but... hold on a moment. [ this is just sunglasses wars now. because he comes back with these, enjoy. ] And they're even silver.

[mygod]

[ these damn shitty sunglasses, why. they let out a deep huff of an exhale and begrudgingly exchange the gold pair for the silver pair... whatever.

they... put them on again. WHATEVER. ]

Very funny.

[haematocritical]

[ astarion certainly thinks so. ]

It is rather! Alternatively, there are these. [ just pretend they're silver ]

If the crown is a bit too heavy.

[mygod]

[ they pause. ]

...

[ and then, suddenly, they exchange the very stupid crown one for those. thank u. putting them on instead. ]

I'm on the Queen's court. I don't wear the crown.

[haematocritical]

[ oh.

lmao. well, they're still wearing sunglasses so he won by whatever standards he's applying here. victory. ]

Hm. The Queen?

[ personally he thinks you can wear a crown whoever you are but he's not about to argue crown politics. ]

[mygod]

[ don't count that as a win, idiot. anyway. ALSO, STOP TAKING WHATEVER CROWN. ]

Yes. My people have a queen, and she has a court beneath her to divide her work into different duties.

[ this probably explains the ridiculous particulars of outfit aesthetics. ]

[haematocritical]

[ victory. ]

Interesting. Matriachal society? Assuming there's always a queen, rather than it switching between either or depending on who inherits.

[ me like is this some sjm court shenanigans going on here is war going to start going on about fated mates ]

[mygod]

[ astarion can meet victory later. ]

It is matriarchal, yes. Most of the court are women. There are only three men. Me, my younger brother, and a minotaur who is on one of his multiple lifespans.

[haematocritical]

[ flings him into the gy at mach fuck ]

... [ hm! ] A minotaur. Well, if you're going to invite men into your mostly female court I suppose you're going to make sure they're notable.

[ MINOTAUR. ]

I've only ever run into a minotaur in... less than friendly circumstances in the Underdark. [ i hate that fight actually. i always forget it's going to happen and get jumpscared by it just charging the gate :tails: ]

[mygod]

[ wtf goodbye. ]

It sounds like you were just on the wrong side.

[ a tease. ]

Why exactly were you in the Underdark to begin with? I'm not sure if I should guess... vamprism, or perhaps the strange illithid you may or may not have in your head.

[haematocritical]

It was ramming a gate! And then us!

[ rude ]

We had two routes to Moonrise and I picked the one with the most fun to be had. [ said so dryly. and then he pulls a face ]

Although we did have to backtrack from the mountains because Lae’zel kicked up a stink about going to the Creche. [ he does not comment on the illithid or vampire remarks. use your words and accuse him directly critrole. ]

[mygod]

[ closes your eyes for sleep by pulling your lids down. ALSO THEY DID USE THEIR WORDS, WOW. ]

Oh, yes, they are very strong. It's why we have one in a military position on our court.

[ their tone is still amused. ]

I must admit I am surprised you are even alive. [ wait. undead? ] Um. Existing. Sorry.

[haematocritical]

[ it wasn’t even midnight have mercy ]

Rude, is what they were. We still beat them, but— [ bleh ]

… [ hmmmm. ]

This place lets me do even more than the tadpole did. [ he did reference both the tadpole and the vampirism so. as funny as it would be to gale this and keep denying it for -30 approval… ] So it’s more surprising in that regard.

[mygod]

I meant in regards to escaping the Underdark. But that as well.

[ astarion your cult problem. ]

The magic here is unstable, but not necessarily weak. The results are chaotic at best. What has it allowed you to do you couldn't before?

[haematocritical]

[ he just loves a weekend of cults and sacrifices and cult sacrifices. ]

Eat normal food. See myself.

[mygod]

I see.

[ hmmm. ]

And what do you think? About the food and the reflection?

[haematocritical]

To paraphrase Karlach, I cannot believe whatever the refectory is dishing up is the first thing I’ve eaten in over two centuries.

[ because??? gross. where’s the flavour.

… as for the reflection. ]

A little strange, really. Akin to looking at a stranger, but they move when I do. Talk when I do.

[mygod]

Heh.

[ enjoy the bland atrocities, astarion. and then the stupid island food later. very funny. ]

And you have no desire to find your partner? You could likely rid yourself of the vampirism entirely with the wish it offers. But that would leave the illithid parasite...