[ the last month has been a lot, he understands. ]
...The hand isn't related. [ SAID DEFINITIVELY ] But I've heard a little here and again about these items, though not in much detail. Sometimes they've been brought to trial as well. If they're spell and ritual components...
[ he hums in thought. ]
My recommendation would be to organize what you've heard from them, like these items and whatever notes they've circulated, and what all you've found here—like, for instance, those tome entries about summoning rituals. Right now, your information is disjointed—you can't expect to see patterns that way.
And here, you have freedom to share information in a way that the 'living' don't—it's easier to piece the truth together on this side.
Like Ashlyn's jar of teeth, or that tongue Lavi had with what I assume is the heart Kanda found. Pretty creepy if you ask me.
They asked us to pick one pseudonym per person and sign our letters to stop being confusing, so...maybe we should actually get together and compare notes and make sure they have the information we have. Or at least figure out what questions we should ask. I think Karma tried to send the information from the tomes, but according to Kanda they were still trying to piece together what it all said. The word limitations and knowing now that things get blocked makes it trickier, but still doable.
[she pauses to frown off into space.]
We tried to tell them about Kate, too, but it got blocked. So I'm wondering if it's worth finding a way around that to warn them so they can help her somehow.
Judging from their letters back... it seems like anything incriminating or dangerous might be blocked out. But yes, if you organize your notes and see what you have, compared to what they have, you might be able to help them.
[ he shuts his eyes when she mentions kate. ]
I don't know that I trust anyone to handle her correctly at this point. [ he isn't sure anyone understands kate's position right now. ]
Yeah...just makes you wonder whose parts these are. Not to mention why. It's like...it feels like a lot of the primary ingredients to create a person. A spine to stand straight. Teeth to smile and bite. A tongue to speak. A heart to beat and be alive. It's probably nothing like that but I'm not as familiar with those kinds of rituals.
[pondering on this though, and she's curiously glancing at nehan when he speaks. there's a moment where she seems to pause and rethink how she wants to approach this.]
...we're not in public now. [a soft reminder.] What do you really think of her situation?
...It's certainly a pattern. Maybe it's related to the type of ritual they'd be used for. Have you figured out what all the items they've received are? Nona, Erin, Aventurine, and Cloud would at least have seen four of them.
[ as for the question, AHHHHHHHH he hates hurting kids at all, he likes kate a lot, this is a nightmare. IT'S A NIGHTMARE. he would simply allow her to kill him. he stares out at nothing some more. ]
I think she's going to continue until someone stops her. The only way I know to stop the monster infection is to die and come here.
Cloud's the one who told me about the heart and spine. When Nona and I spoke last week, she said that Gojo and Vin took items back but not what they were. I guess I should check in with her again now that she's had time to recover.
[also yeah. yeah! that's the thing, everything changes just a little when you take into account this is a child.]
...it's going to come down to them, then, and if they can be strong enough to take her out. [emotionally. maybe a little physically, too, but it's the emotional damage that might get them worse.] Even if they went the route of Camille where they kill her and wish her back, Kate would still have to suffer the weight of being killed at all. It's like the monster becomes too intertwined with the person, but if there was a way to get them separated enough maybe it could be removed on its own.
...Yeah. Maybe a little bit of organizing and seeing what everyone knows is in order. You don't need the veil here to discuss things.
[ but yeah if only monsteritis was like appendicitis... ]
The trauma of death itself is substantive. If... they do it, it should be with kindness. [ ANIMAL CROSSING EMOJI ANGRY LINES he is gritting this out ] I'm still concerned, after Karma.
Cloud was thinking about getting everybody together to start getting ourselves organized. Maybe Monday, after Daan's here. [and their karlach, but she does not know that yet.] Being able to discuss everything freely does help us. It then just becomes figuring out how to get it across to the others.
[anyway yeah there's a faint . . . in her thoughts regarding the trauma of death because lol. lmao.]
...he still hasn't told me exactly what happened to him or talked much about it. It's hard for anybody, but I think it's especially hard for kids to process that kind of thing.
I'd like that. You don't have to listen the whole time, but your insight might be really helpful.
[smashcut to literally the next day where karma tells her in so many words that he wants to live though. death is...bad.]
...to be honest with you, I'm not sure what to do with him sometimes. He's...destructive and impulsive but I get it. It's too difficult to really grasp it. And thinking about Kate's situation, too, where this is the first time she's been free from her own house and expectations, losing her life feels...cruel. Even if in a way she's already lost it a little.
Who wouldn't turn to destruction at that age, after what's happened. [ even though karma was already This Way. the point stands. ] Kate deserves...
[ anyway, maybe it's because he's getting worked up a little for once, or because i owe you a memory oops, but the scene changes abruptly. one reason for all the dead inside-ness. cw: drugs, vaguely alluded child abuse
When you're young, your sister tells you not to go to the mountainside by yourself.
Her concern, while unnecessary, isn't without cause: compared to clan's other children, you are particularly frail. Slower and weaker and more suited for books, your hands better at tending to plants and little sprouts than dealing injury. Your sister is older, and has always been strong. Fighting comes naturally to her, and so she insists on going with you whenever you go to forage, for fear of monsters, poachers, traffickers.
In the end, this is just the sort of relationship you have. Your sister will likely go on to complete assignments for your village, the secluded little hamlet of Karm that excels so famously (infamously) at what it does. And you will support her, learning medicine to keep her alive, and sweet, painless poison to kill her targets. You don't question any of that. Most of the time, you don't even mind listening to her, even through the fussing. You spend time in the shade of Karm's trees and by the cool lakes on sticky days and you laugh and fight and listen to her.
But today is different: today is her coming of age ceremony, and you want to get her something nice.
So you slip away to the mountains near dawn, off to chance upon some rare flower, or a lotus in bloom, or tree nuts that she favors. Your sister, in the meantime, will be undergoing the same ceremony as others her age: take some of the clan's most potent drug, and maintain control through the dosing. It is intimidating on paper, and dated, but simple in practice. Through your research, you know it would take an excess of Trancensia to cause neurological issues. No one has ever catastrophically failed their rites.
You are also distantly aware that the leader's son, ████ is participating. He is a little younger than you, and not meant to be there, but the clan leader has something to prove. You think little of it. You do feel bad for ████, because the adults seem afraid of him and he's not allowed to come out and play with any of you, but you figure—as a child might—that there's a good reason for it. You find some nice flowers, and head back to your village before your family can realize you've snuck away.
But all that awaits you is—noise. Screaming.
Cutting above it all is a shriek you'll remember forever. A young boy, abused and enraged and baleful, his mind utterly overtaken by grief and chemicals. Or maybe it's simply because he's too strong—the drugs your clan uses push mental and physical boundaries, and ████ has always been so incredibly, ferociously quick and powerful, even for a child. As high as he is on Trancensia, he is stronger than the clan leader, the veteran warriors, and the people in your village—your parents, your sister, absolutely everyone and everything.
And so, in his madness, in the face of your clan's utter hubris, he kills all of them. It's not that you're anything special for surviving. You're weaker than the people you watch him cut down, tearing into them with just his nails and bitter hurt and mindless fury. You are a small, violently trembling shadow in the brilliant light of ████'s ability. The truth is: he just happens not to see you amidst the trees. Your sister was wrong. The mountainside was less dangerous than he is.
So you live. So you run. You don't have anywhere to go, your family and everything you've known left dead at your back as you trip along tree roots and your own feet, lungs burning and mind racing, but you run all the same. ]
[you know she's about to say something else about the kids, but then there's a memory that she is very quickly realizing is not hers and she's going very still as she watches this play out. as it goes along, she can't help but feel a little nervous, like she knows exactly how this story will end. she can hope that maybe it's different. that maybe everything nehan ever loved and cherished wasn't destroyed in the blink of an eye. that his family was safe and they all passed naturally, that he'd lived a full life and had nothing left now.
but of course that isn't the case. of course it's because of someone who was used by someone else. someone who needed adults in his life to protect him but instead got ones who saw him as something to be used instead. and so she watches this child quickly raze an entire clan, watches nehan hide away to save himself paralyzed in fear, and watches as he turns and doesn't look back.
the whole thing fades and she's left staring off into space with a very troubled expression.]
...you were both so young. [is what she settles on, because...that's the thing. both of them were too young to lose so much of themselves because of someone else's choices. there's more she could (wants to) say, but she thinks with the kind of person nehan is it's safer to wait and see how he responds first, even if she can't help the thought flicker past of this shouldn't have happened to either of you.]
[ by the time they're set loose from the memory, nehan's expression is cooled over, reserved. it's easy enough to remove himself from the moment, distant from even his own memories as he watches it play out and keeps from reacting.
he just rubs his good eye once the penthouse returns to its usual state, speaking flatly. ]
We were. That boy... Seox, I suppose you could call him. He wasn't even a teenager.
[ there's no pity in his tone. he understands seox, but he also killed his whole family, so there's some mixed feelings. ]
But I don't operate on how the world should be. It is what it is. That's how it always will be.
[ cruel and senseless and driven by powers that are beyond him. ]
[this reaction isn't much better, frankly, and she doesn't respond immediately as she studies nehan a little closer.]
Of course. You can't always go against fate, right? [the way she says this is really more because of what nehan said to her initially than her own thoughts about it.] But it does feel pretty cruel to think of it in a way that says what happened was going to happen, and it's just the way things are.
[ thank you for respecting his fatalism, aerith..... but that does give him pause. is it cruel, to think the world is doomed to be the way it is? there is the starting wobble of a thought, a half-formed and uncertain thing, before it fades away. ]
If it's cruel, then the world itself is cruel.
[ he is not such a genocidal maniac that he'd be like SEPHIROTH HAD THE RIGHT IDEA but these memories have only shown him that every world is as awful as the next. the tone and timbre of his voice turns very calm. ]
...Our village was remote, and ostracized to begin with. So I wandered. When someone found me, they sold me to a local crime syndicate. I've been in their... care until recently.
It's a common enough story. Most orphans aren't found by someone who wants what's best for them.
But it doesn't have to be. [of course she would say that, given her entire goal is to save the world and she's dodged past destiny for it. worlds are awful and awful things have happened to people that don't deserve them, but she still believes in things becoming better.]
Which is why you were concerned about that child you found yourself. [remembering that story.] ...until recently, a lot of people where I'm from didn't exactly care about orphans either. Extra hands for extra work. Once a child was old enough, they were usually sold into labor. [which. hm. bad.] But since then the Leaf House has changed hands. Things are better.
[so again, the world itself is cruel but it doesn't always have to be if there are people who want to change it.]
...but that still must have been hard on you. [even if i'm sure you'll tell me it's just the way it is and to mind my own business about it.]
his ears do a funny little twitch because she remembers what he'd told her, like he'd expected her to forget it. mistakes were made. but in general, his expression sobers as she speaks—because of course kids are trafficked and made to labor across worlds. for every heartwarming story of someone being saved, another dozen are left to suffer.
but things don't get better by giving up, so he can't begrudge her mindset. ]
...I've resigned myself to your nosiness.
[ it's fine, it's whatever. ]
Is that what you're doing? Saving the world, trying to change it for the better?
also literally so many of these sullen men are so surprised when they find out she's actually listening to them and remembering things, it's almost funny at this point. why are you all this way? she watches his ears with mild fascination before she meets his gaze again.]
That's probably for the better. [it's always so much nicer and easier when people just accept she's not going away. besides that, she does think she understands a few things about him a little better, that there are things they both align with here.]
You could say that, yeah. Our entire journey right now is to find a man who wants to destroy the planet, but even before that it was about stopping Shinra from draining her of her lifeforce and stopping the people that only cause pain and misery to others. There's...a pretty big divide between people with money and people without. Someone has to bring those people down and stop them from taking over everything.
aerith out here just like yeah! good! give up and accept friendship! she is so used to these annoying emotionally distant men. ]
...I suppose they do.
[ someone has to stop them, she says, as though it's something that most people think or have the drive to accomplish. maybe most people want that—to close the disparity between rich and poor, powerful and powerless—but hardly anyone ever gets the momentum to make a difference.
even so, it's a nice idea. that some group of them would try, at least. it is surprisingly easy for him to be sincere about this. no barbs attached. ]
[it doesn't make sense to her sometimes, why people wouldn't try, but she does have enough awareness to recognize the things she's asking for and about are sometimes too big. sometimes people would prefer to keep to themselves, or people would prefer to let someone else step in. but for them, there's really no choice. they're the only ones who can, so they will.]
Thank you, Nehan. [equally sincere, even if there's a little smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes.] Even if somehow I can't get back the way I want to, the rest of them know what's next. And I believe in them.
[we have at least reached the point where she's willing to consider options and try to find her way back to be alive again rather than just accept it (thank you, scien.) but ah...]
Yuffie knows. [yuffie, who had first questioned if her appearance was a trick before crying in her arms. being here and leaving her a second time is one of those things that's been in the back of her head for a few weeks.] And Cloud...knows, even if his mind won't let him accept it or believe it. So I haven't tried to correct him.
[yeah there's no fixing that yet, it's fine. our poor yuffie...]
Both. But I know he can't, because he watched it happen and still thinks I'm okay. [which. uh. there are a few conflicting feelings on that now because she's been slowly having a crisis about if she really is actually dead because she never made it to the lifestream before coming here, and it's obvious cloud can see her and talk to her. she would think it's just cloud being insane (and he is.), but red acknowledged her presence, too, calling out for her after she touched him.
so. spooky pink ghost she is.]
Every time he tries to think about it too much, it...isn't good for him.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
...The hand isn't related. [ SAID DEFINITIVELY ] But I've heard a little here and again about these items, though not in much detail. Sometimes they've been brought to trial as well. If they're spell and ritual components...
[ he hums in thought. ]
My recommendation would be to organize what you've heard from them, like these items and whatever notes they've circulated, and what all you've found here—like, for instance, those tome entries about summoning rituals. Right now, your information is disjointed—you can't expect to see patterns that way.
And here, you have freedom to share information in a way that the 'living' don't—it's easier to piece the truth together on this side.
no subject
Like Ashlyn's jar of teeth, or that tongue Lavi had with what I assume is the heart Kanda found. Pretty creepy if you ask me.
They asked us to pick one pseudonym per person and sign our letters to stop being confusing, so...maybe we should actually get together and compare notes and make sure they have the information we have. Or at least figure out what questions we should ask. I think Karma tried to send the information from the tomes, but according to Kanda they were still trying to piece together what it all said. The word limitations and knowing now that things get blocked makes it trickier, but still doable.
[she pauses to frown off into space.]
We tried to tell them about Kate, too, but it got blocked. So I'm wondering if it's worth finding a way around that to warn them so they can help her somehow.
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[ hearts and teeth.... ]
Judging from their letters back... it seems like anything incriminating or dangerous might be blocked out. But yes, if you organize your notes and see what you have, compared to what they have, you might be able to help them.
[ he shuts his eyes when she mentions kate. ]
I don't know that I trust anyone to handle her correctly at this point. [ he isn't sure anyone understands kate's position right now. ]
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[pondering on this though, and she's curiously glancing at nehan when he speaks. there's a moment where she seems to pause and rethink how she wants to approach this.]
...we're not in public now. [a soft reminder.] What do you really think of her situation?
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...It's certainly a pattern. Maybe it's related to the type of ritual they'd be used for. Have you figured out what all the items they've received are? Nona, Erin, Aventurine, and Cloud would at least have seen four of them.
[ as for the question, AHHHHHHHH he hates hurting kids at all, he likes kate a lot, this is a nightmare. IT'S A NIGHTMARE. he would simply allow her to kill him. he stares out at nothing some more. ]
I think she's going to continue until someone stops her. The only way I know to stop the monster infection is to die and come here.
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[also yeah. yeah! that's the thing, everything changes just a little when you take into account this is a child.]
...it's going to come down to them, then, and if they can be strong enough to take her out. [emotionally. maybe a little physically, too, but it's the emotional damage that might get them worse.] Even if they went the route of Camille where they kill her and wish her back, Kate would still have to suffer the weight of being killed at all. It's like the monster becomes too intertwined with the person, but if there was a way to get them separated enough maybe it could be removed on its own.
[like removing an appendix...]
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[ but yeah if only monsteritis was like appendicitis... ]
The trauma of death itself is substantive. If... they do it, it should be with kindness. [ ANIMAL CROSSING EMOJI ANGRY LINES he is gritting this out ] I'm still concerned, after Karma.
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[anyway yeah there's a faint . . . in her thoughts regarding the trauma of death because lol. lmao.]
...he still hasn't told me exactly what happened to him or talked much about it. It's hard for anybody, but I think it's especially hard for kids to process that kind of thing.
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[ but it would be good for them to figure this out. anyway, yeah... death may be impermanent but trauma can sometimes stick around forever. ]
...They shouldn't have to process it. And he's died three times now.
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[smashcut to literally the next day where karma tells her in so many words that he wants to live though. death is...bad.]
...to be honest with you, I'm not sure what to do with him sometimes. He's...destructive and impulsive but I get it. It's too difficult to really grasp it. And thinking about Kate's situation, too, where this is the first time she's been free from her own house and expectations, losing her life feels...cruel. Even if in a way she's already lost it a little.
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Who wouldn't turn to destruction at that age, after what's happened. [ even though karma was already This Way. the point stands. ] Kate deserves...
[ anyway, maybe it's because he's getting worked up a little for once, or because i owe you a memory oops, but the scene changes abruptly. one reason for all the dead inside-ness. cw: drugs, vaguely alluded child abuse
When you're young, your sister tells you not to go to the mountainside by yourself.
Her concern, while unnecessary, isn't without cause: compared to clan's other children, you are particularly frail. Slower and weaker and more suited for books, your hands better at tending to plants and little sprouts than dealing injury. Your sister is older, and has always been strong. Fighting comes naturally to her, and so she insists on going with you whenever you go to forage, for fear of monsters, poachers, traffickers.
In the end, this is just the sort of relationship you have. Your sister will likely go on to complete assignments for your village, the secluded little hamlet of Karm that excels so famously (infamously) at what it does. And you will support her, learning medicine to keep her alive, and sweet, painless poison to kill her targets. You don't question any of that. Most of the time, you don't even mind listening to her, even through the fussing. You spend time in the shade of Karm's trees and by the cool lakes on sticky days and you laugh and fight and listen to her.
But today is different: today is her coming of age ceremony, and you want to get her something nice.
So you slip away to the mountains near dawn, off to chance upon some rare flower, or a lotus in bloom, or tree nuts that she favors. Your sister, in the meantime, will be undergoing the same ceremony as others her age: take some of the clan's most potent drug, and maintain control through the dosing. It is intimidating on paper, and dated, but simple in practice. Through your research, you know it would take an excess of Trancensia to cause neurological issues. No one has ever catastrophically failed their rites.
You are also distantly aware that the leader's son, ████ is participating. He is a little younger than you, and not meant to be there, but the clan leader has something to prove. You think little of it. You do feel bad for ████, because the adults seem afraid of him and he's not allowed to come out and play with any of you, but you figure—as a child might—that there's a good reason for it. You find some nice flowers, and head back to your village before your family can realize you've snuck away.
But all that awaits you is—noise. Screaming.
Cutting above it all is a shriek you'll remember forever. A young boy, abused and enraged and baleful, his mind utterly overtaken by grief and chemicals. Or maybe it's simply because he's too strong—the drugs your clan uses push mental and physical boundaries, and ████ has always been so incredibly, ferociously quick and powerful, even for a child. As high as he is on Trancensia, he is stronger than the clan leader, the veteran warriors, and the people in your village—your parents, your sister, absolutely everyone and everything.
And so, in his madness, in the face of your clan's utter hubris, he kills all of them. It's not that you're anything special for surviving. You're weaker than the people you watch him cut down, tearing into them with just his nails and bitter hurt and mindless fury. You are a small, violently trembling shadow in the brilliant light of ████'s ability. The truth is: he just happens not to see you amidst the trees. Your sister was wrong. The mountainside was less dangerous than he is.
So you live. So you run. You don't have anywhere to go, your family and everything you've known left dead at your back as you trip along tree roots and your own feet, lungs burning and mind racing, but you run all the same. ]
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but of course that isn't the case. of course it's because of someone who was used by someone else. someone who needed adults in his life to protect him but instead got ones who saw him as something to be used instead. and so she watches this child quickly raze an entire clan, watches nehan hide away to save himself paralyzed in fear, and watches as he turns and doesn't look back.
the whole thing fades and she's left staring off into space with a very troubled expression.]
...you were both so young. [is what she settles on, because...that's the thing. both of them were too young to lose so much of themselves because of someone else's choices. there's more she could (wants to) say, but she thinks with the kind of person nehan is it's safer to wait and see how he responds first, even if she can't help the thought flicker past of this shouldn't have happened to either of you.]
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he just rubs his good eye once the penthouse returns to its usual state, speaking flatly. ]
We were. That boy... Seox, I suppose you could call him. He wasn't even a teenager.
[ there's no pity in his tone. he understands seox, but he also killed his whole family, so there's some mixed feelings. ]
But I don't operate on how the world should be. It is what it is. That's how it always will be.
[ cruel and senseless and driven by powers that are beyond him. ]
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Of course. You can't always go against fate, right? [the way she says this is really more because of what nehan said to her initially than her own thoughts about it.] But it does feel pretty cruel to think of it in a way that says what happened was going to happen, and it's just the way things are.
[sad, really.]
...where did you go after that?
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If it's cruel, then the world itself is cruel.
[ he is not such a genocidal maniac that he'd be like SEPHIROTH HAD THE RIGHT IDEA but these memories have only shown him that every world is as awful as the next. the tone and timbre of his voice turns very calm. ]
...Our village was remote, and ostracized to begin with. So I wandered. When someone found me, they sold me to a local crime syndicate. I've been in their... care until recently.
It's a common enough story. Most orphans aren't found by someone who wants what's best for them.
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Which is why you were concerned about that child you found yourself. [remembering that story.] ...until recently, a lot of people where I'm from didn't exactly care about orphans either. Extra hands for extra work. Once a child was old enough, they were usually sold into labor. [which. hm. bad.] But since then the Leaf House has changed hands. Things are better.
[so again, the world itself is cruel but it doesn't always have to be if there are people who want to change it.]
...but that still must have been hard on you. [even if i'm sure you'll tell me it's just the way it is and to mind my own business about it.]
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his ears do a funny little twitch because she remembers what he'd told her, like he'd expected her to forget it. mistakes were made. but in general, his expression sobers as she speaks—because of course kids are trafficked and made to labor across worlds. for every heartwarming story of someone being saved, another dozen are left to suffer.
but things don't get better by giving up, so he can't begrudge her mindset. ]
...I've resigned myself to your nosiness.
[ it's fine, it's whatever. ]
Is that what you're doing? Saving the world, trying to change it for the better?
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also literally so many of these sullen men are so surprised when they find out she's actually listening to them and remembering things, it's almost funny at this point. why are you all this way? she watches his ears with mild fascination before she meets his gaze again.]
That's probably for the better. [it's always so much nicer and easier when people just accept she's not going away. besides that, she does think she understands a few things about him a little better, that there are things they both align with here.]
You could say that, yeah. Our entire journey right now is to find a man who wants to destroy the planet, but even before that it was about stopping Shinra from draining her of her lifeforce and stopping the people that only cause pain and misery to others. There's...a pretty big divide between people with money and people without. Someone has to bring those people down and stop them from taking over everything.
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aerith out here just like yeah! good! give up and accept friendship! she is so used to these annoying emotionally distant men. ]
...I suppose they do.
[ someone has to stop them, she says, as though it's something that most people think or have the drive to accomplish. maybe most people want that—to close the disparity between rich and poor, powerful and powerless—but hardly anyone ever gets the momentum to make a difference.
even so, it's a nice idea. that some group of them would try, at least. it is surprisingly easy for him to be sincere about this. no barbs attached. ]
Then I hope you succeed.
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Thank you, Nehan. [equally sincere, even if there's a little smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes.] Even if somehow I can't get back the way I want to, the rest of them know what's next. And I believe in them.
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...What are you being such a martyr for? Do your friends even know what's happening with you?
[ yuffie and cloud. ]
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Yuffie knows. [yuffie, who had first questioned if her appearance was a trick before crying in her arms. being here and leaving her a second time is one of those things that's been in the back of her head for a few weeks.] And Cloud...knows, even if his mind won't let him accept it or believe it. So I haven't tried to correct him.
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sorry to yuffie that we took her castmates immediately also. he frowns a little. ]
...You don't think he can handle knowing, or you don't want him to?
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Both. But I know he can't, because he watched it happen and still thinks I'm okay. [which. uh. there are a few conflicting feelings on that now because she's been slowly having a crisis about if she really is actually dead because she never made it to the lifestream before coming here, and it's obvious cloud can see her and talk to her. she would think it's just cloud being insane (and he is.), but red acknowledged her presence, too, calling out for her after she touched him.
so. spooky pink ghost she is.]
Every time he tries to think about it too much, it...isn't good for him.
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...I see. It seems cruel for him not to know.
[ but he also understands that it's not so simple. ]
So you're trying to get back without him realizing what's happened? And I assume you are trying to get back.
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