audience: lucas

[mygod]

Comments

[mygod]

[ they continue to stare at lucas

who still didn't answer the question ]

[faithkept]

[STOP. He looks faintly troubled and a little discomforted because trials of faith are PRIVATE, but.]

...The death of a parent is a rather common one, and one that I myself have experienced.

[mygod]

[ in response to the discomfort: ] I accept declining to answer, but I'd rather not be tricked into distraction.

Is the death of your parent what led to your faith?

[faithkept]

I ask that you not think so unkindly of me.

[He maintains his innocence your honor, sometimes things slip the mind... He shakes his head, though.]

It was a time that I questioned mine, but not what led to it.

[mygod]

[ a beat ] I believe in earning my kindness. I am not looking for a reason to mistrust you.

[ even though lucas once again just didn't answer the question okay!!!! ]

Are you so averse to discussing the origin of your faith?

[faithkept]

[HE DID ANSWER THE QUESTION THE QUESTION WAS DID THIS LEAD TO YOUR FAITH AND THE ANSWER WAS NO!!!!]

We were discussing trials of faith rather than the crux itself, were we not?

[mygod]

Perhaps, but I will take that as a yes, if you are not volunteering the information.

[ tilts head ]

Were you not just inviting me ask others on their faith? It is difficult to find shared belief this way.

[faithkept]

I'm not averse to it, really.

[He just does not volunteer information in general, which is probably clear based on the way he continues to just leave that statement where it is instead of volunteering information!!!!]

If it's something you're curious to know, we can speak of it...

[Even though he said OTHERS and not LUCAS.]

[mygod]

[ lucas has now trapped himself into this conversation about his totally normal catholic tradition

then plainly: ] I am curious to know you.

The origin of your faith, what shakes it, what unmakes it.

[ a pause, thoughtful ]

You shared what prompted you to question it, but I cannot question something that I have never known. The only force I have ever believed in was and is myself. So how is it that you've found and adopted something into yourself that relies on a force outside of your own power?

[faithkept]

[

The way his expression doesn't change but his body language does in tiny and barely noticeable ways that SPEAK TO HIS RAPIDLY INCREASING LEVELS OF DISCOMFORT. He regrets saying ANYTHING ACTUALLY!! Lightly:]

I believe you're requesting an examination rather than a conversation at that point.

[The actual question at hand, though, he'll ponder over for a moment or two, folding his arms daintily across his middle as he thinks.]

...I suppose the simplest answer is, there are some things that one can't manage through the force of their own power.

[mygod]

[ they do a very obvious once over of lucas then, head to toe, taking in all those tiny, microscopic ways that he shows his discomfort. oops but not oops because they don't look sorry. suffer ]

You may ask questions of me in return.

[ though they still don't seem entirely convinced, even if their tone is otherwise openly curious ]

What obstacles did you encounter? How have they been removed?

[faithkept]

[

HE IS SUFFERING.]

What sort of curiosity drives you? [The question is lobbed back almost immediately like he is desperate to get the conversational ball out of his court.]

Are we speaking of obstacles to faith, specifically?

[mygod]

[ pats his head ssshhhh all will be well my child. this is [redacted mod] speaking not famine ]

What I don't understand and what surprises me.

[ their answer is even and unbothered in comparison ]

I am speaking of the obstacle that you could not overcome with your own power that led you to find your faith.

[ so specific purely to make it harder for lucas to weasel out of ]

[faithkept]

[NOTHING WILL BE WELL!!!!!! THIS IS SO FUCKING SPECIFIC AND HE IS DISPLEASED though it only shows in the faintest of dainty little frowns.]

You should take care with curiosity like that.

[Binch is gonna look into something surprising someday and die about it. There is also a bit of a pause where he's considering what he wants to say to the rest of this... Eventually:]

Someone very dear to me needed help in a way neither myself nor anyone else could do anything about.

[Or. WOULD!!!!]

[mygod]

It's served me well thus far.

[ their curiosity.... look at this very wholesome and kind and wonderful conversation they're getting to have with lucas wowee

they continue to press on this very obvious wound in a very wholesome and kind way ]

So you turned to prayer? Who is this person and what happened to them?

[faithkept]

[He could probably try to ease his way around the answer he'd rather not give in this case, but there is perhaps some biting little part of him that's still buttmad about being called on his entirely super definitely unintentional avoidance earlier.]

That person got the help that was needed. I would rather not answer beyond that.

[mygod]

[ hm.

famine seems to just watch lucas for a long, loooooong moment. after that moment passes, with surprising sincerity— ]

I'm glad that they're well.

[ another pause

and then an open-handed gesture. lucas can ask something in return now after he's been grilled over the coals ]

[faithkept]

[THE WAY HE'S SO INTERNALLY TIGHTLY WOUND BY THE TIME THEY SAY ANYTHING that it comes as even more of a surprise when their response isn't anything needling or pushy. He relaxes perhaps the tiniest of fractions, and his smile is small but genuine.]

Thank you.

[Though this just makes him tired in turn because it reminds him of (redacted). Life is a nightmare but one carries ever onward!!

He considers his question for a moment.]

You say that the only force you believe in is yourself. Does that mean you've never run into something you couldn't handle alone?

[mygod]

[ they continue to watch lucas like a hawk. that's fine surely. but then they cross their arms and pause to think about the answer they want to give ]

No. Not exactly. While I do believe in myself first and foremost, I was not always alone. Everything that I was able to accomplish was done through a matter of my own active choices. Choosing who to trust, who to listen to, and who to offer help.

Collaboration is worthwhile when the right individuals are selected.

However, I can see all my allies. They are concretes to place faith in, not spiritual messengers.

[faithkept]

[(no chewin voice) NO STARIN.

Anyway wow what's it like to have real people to rely on... Wild... Sounds fake honestly...]

I can see why you would be curious to understand more about different placements of faith, in that case.

[mygod]

[ well

that is the realization that seems to hit them next as they then ask— ]

Would you then consider yourself someone who is, more often than not, alone?

[faithkept]

[HELLO. DID HE JUST GET CALLED A FRIENDLESS LOSER.]

Goodness, no. How in the world did you come to that conclusion?

[mygod]

[ yes ]

You mentioned that you sought out your faith because there was something that others could not help you with—so either the people you're surrounded by are incompetent or you didn't look hard enough.

The context you provided me was limited. [ wonder why ] And so I can only draw conclusions based on the difference between us. If all my needs have been answered by my environment, I can only presume that yours haven't.

That you encountered something out of your own capability, so only your supposed god could answer.

[faithkept]

[THIS IS NOT MAKING HIM WANT TO PROVIDE MORE CONTEXT IT'S JUST MAKING HIM WANT TO HIT WITH A BRICK BEHIND THE DENNY'S AGAIN.]

You're making a great deal of assumptions based on very little context. In any case, my answer remains unchanged.

[He's not alone he has the power of god and anime on his side.]

I'd also suggest that, should you take me up on my offer to speak with others about their faith, you adjust your approach a bit.

[mygod]

Oh? Should I invite you to lecture me, teacher?

[ said in the tone of "try me" ]