[ as in. he is already dead. demise, past tense. ]
Of course it is. But I don't-- [ hrm. ] I don't see much point in acting as I do otherwise. Crawling into bed and never emerging again wouldn't be helpful, would it?
[ if anything he's too bi. get back in the closet partway. ]
I tried that tactic already. Locking myself away and awaiting the end until I could not wait any longer. I planned for a very long time that I would research what I could, then upon the moment I was no longer able to fend it off I would strike out for the Underdark and find an unpopulated corner in which to ... assure the blast would harm no one. I left my tower, I left Tara and my Mother with no word on where I was going, and then barely the moment I stepped outside my door I was kidnapped by illithids.
Then upon my second attempt, this time following the directive of Mystra and using the orb to try to destroy the Absolute, I found myself here. Reconstituted and orb intact. I suppose if that is not a sign at least a part of me wants to fight to live, then I do not know what is.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[ sowwy!! ]
... isn't it scary?
[ the icon doesn't match this last part but i'm not changing it ]
no subject
[ as in. he is already dead. demise, past tense. ]
Of course it is. But I don't-- [ hrm. ] I don't see much point in acting as I do otherwise. Crawling into bed and never emerging again wouldn't be helpful, would it?
no subject
[ of the bed. not the closet. ]
But what about when you're alone?
cw: description of suicide
I tried that tactic already. Locking myself away and awaiting the end until I could not wait any longer. I planned for a very long time that I would research what I could, then upon the moment I was no longer able to fend it off I would strike out for the Underdark and find an unpopulated corner in which to ... assure the blast would harm no one. I left my tower, I left Tara and my Mother with no word on where I was going, and then barely the moment I stepped outside my door I was kidnapped by illithids.
Then upon my second attempt, this time following the directive of Mystra and using the orb to try to destroy the Absolute, I found myself here. Reconstituted and orb intact. I suppose if that is not a sign at least a part of me wants to fight to live, then I do not know what is.
no subject
but she listens to the story. ]
Even if it's not a sign, there's nothing to stop you from seeing it as one. Even the littlest of things can be enough to make one keep trying.