Not yet. Laudna proposed this, actually, though it had been on my mind. And Gale wanted me to ask about my situation now, since Karlach's partner is going to need someone to match with ASAP. He's wondering if I'm still at risk for possession, as am I.
As for Kate... [She wets her lips.] The last thing I want to do is take anything more from her. Push things on her that she doesn't want.
But I tried to help her last Thursday. She took something to make her drowsy, and I helped her into a coffin we stole. Roped it up and waited for morning.
Except the monster just accounted for it all. Bypassed it completely.
[Which spurs a fresh wave of pain. Heartbreak, fear, resignation. She slings an arm around Pesto, unable to fight the curse effects any longer.
And let's face it: she'll take comfort wherever she can get it now.]
I'm leery of letting her in on much now. Lest the damn thing intervene somehow. I want to ask, I just need to be careful.
... I think that if you tried again but don't tell her, she won't hold it against you. She wants to be stopped, and she knows that being too involved will backfire.
[ she understands that more than anyone, really. ]
If anything, maybe there's some way to just hint at something without saying it outright? That way she'd at least likely worry a little less.
[That she won't hate her. That she won't get hurt.
That they won't have to come to a last resort.]
I'll just let her know that I'll try to keep her safe. Anything that keeps her out of the vote. From the public execution. If that's...if that's the most I can do, I hope it's enough.
I don't want to see her go through that. I don't want to see another little girl get killed. I can't.
[She has a vivid mirage of the teeth, near weightless in the palm of her hand. Little pearly things, bleached bright after the pulling, cleaned up in secret to pose as ivory flooring in Amma's beloved dollhouse.
She knows dead little girls, and she knows murderous ones. In a sense Kate is neither. In another, she is both.]
...I'm sorry. I keep taking up your time with useless questions.
[ there's a long pause. this icon is not apt at all for this thread but it is the only way to remind myself she is still masked in this thread so i'm sorry there's just a rainbow here. ]
I know that there are children who have been through worse situations than full grown adults ever had. And maybe it makes them mature faster, or get stronger physically, or just-- whatever. But at the end of the day, they're still a child, and we shouldn't want to take away what's left of that childhood from them just because they're used to hardship.
I know what you mean, though. I had to take custody of my little sister for a few months last year. [There's a slight grimace.] It didn't work out. I'd hoped it could, but...you can't fix people. You can help them, but you can't change them by force.
[Amma was too far gone already. If she'd taken her away earlier, years earlier — realized that she'd needed to?
Hindsight is 20/20. For now, it's better to focus on what she can do. Kate is here, Amma is not. And it won't be just one tormented girl she has to worry about.]
Mmhm! She's being cared for by the best doctors anyone could get, and she even does her homework now.
[ that doesn't solve everything, but. it's better to be in a better place that allows healing versus somewhere that doesn't. ]
... yeah. I think if it was only me, I'm not sure I could have gotten her where she is. I think people sometimes assume that there's an easy solution to these sorts of things, and that just putting them in a new place is the end of things. But people are complicated. Children can be the most complicated of all.
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The dull thrum of misery beats harder. Camille scrubs at her hair, flipping it aside.]
I'd love to hear them. Whatever I can do to help.
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Have you spoken to her about any of this? Or does she just say that she'd prefer you didn't waste anything on her?
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As for Kate... [She wets her lips.] The last thing I want to do is take anything more from her. Push things on her that she doesn't want.
But I tried to help her last Thursday. She took something to make her drowsy, and I helped her into a coffin we stole. Roped it up and waited for morning.
Except the monster just accounted for it all. Bypassed it completely.
[Which spurs a fresh wave of pain. Heartbreak, fear, resignation. She slings an arm around Pesto, unable to fight the curse effects any longer.
And let's face it: she'll take comfort wherever she can get it now.]
I'm leery of letting her in on much now. Lest the damn thing intervene somehow. I want to ask, I just need to be careful.
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[ she understands that more than anyone, really. ]
If anything, maybe there's some way to just hint at something without saying it outright? That way she'd at least likely worry a little less.
Cw: mentions of child murder and mouth gore
[That she won't hate her. That she won't get hurt.
That they won't have to come to a last resort.]
I'll just let her know that I'll try to keep her safe. Anything that keeps her out of the vote. From the public execution. If that's...if that's the most I can do, I hope it's enough.
I don't want to see her go through that. I don't want to see another little girl get killed. I can't.
[She has a vivid mirage of the teeth, near weightless in the palm of her hand. Little pearly things, bleached bright after the pulling, cleaned up in secret to pose as ivory flooring in Amma's beloved dollhouse.
She knows dead little girls, and she knows murderous ones. In a sense Kate is neither. In another, she is both.]
...I'm sorry. I keep taking up your time with useless questions.
But thank you. For hearing them anyway.
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[ there's a long pause. this icon is not apt at all for this thread but it is the only way to remind myself she is still masked in this thread so i'm sorry there's just a rainbow here. ]
I know that there are children who have been through worse situations than full grown adults ever had. And maybe it makes them mature faster, or get stronger physically, or just-- whatever. But at the end of the day, they're still a child, and we shouldn't want to take away what's left of that childhood from them just because they're used to hardship.
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Exactly.
[There's a sigh, but a surge of relief. Gratitude. There's still no lifting the stone in her gut but there's some ease to the strain now.
She looks to them. She'd pegged Pesto as young based on attitude and energy alone, but maybe they're not that young.]
Do you have kids?
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[ a pause. ]
Seeing things like that just kind of change a lot of things for you.
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That's great. She doing better now?
[As for herself?]
I know what you mean, though. I had to take custody of my little sister for a few months last year. [There's a slight grimace.] It didn't work out. I'd hoped it could, but...you can't fix people. You can help them, but you can't change them by force.
[Amma was too far gone already. If she'd taken her away earlier, years earlier — realized that she'd needed to?
Hindsight is 20/20. For now, it's better to focus on what she can do. Kate is here, Amma is not. And it won't be just one tormented girl she has to worry about.]
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[ that doesn't solve everything, but. it's better to be in a better place that allows healing versus somewhere that doesn't. ]
... yeah. I think if it was only me, I'm not sure I could have gotten her where she is. I think people sometimes assume that there's an easy solution to these sorts of things, and that just putting them in a new place is the end of things. But people are complicated. Children can be the most complicated of all.