[ ah, the tsundere bullshit. there is a tiny, tiny flicker of amusement in him, though it mellows into something more complicated at the thought of the other overseers. ]
We weren't friends. Just coworkers.
[ his feelings are better at containing themselves, even if there is a twinge of something painful. that careful neutrality wobbles again when she asks; she's the first to actually flat-out question this, which leaves him answering with a quiet hum. ]
...I'm not attached to them, or home. So it doesn't concern me either way. Whether I'm here or there makes no real difference in the end.
[ the vibes are very tired. ]
Still, I'd rather get you all back. So you don't have to yell at anyone.
[ the tsundered vibe of burying her feelings. she's a cool collected cat that doesn't need friends* *proceeds to get lonely when alone ]
But you all want the same thing with what's going on here, don't you? To stop what's happening.
[ little blips of puzzlement, but otherwise she doesn't seem overly shocked or surprised by that. she can kinda understand. especially when she thinks of where she was owned before her freedom. sometimes things are Complicated. ]
--Even if it doesn't concern you, there's no way we are gonna leave you here.
[ just suddenly deciding this for him? Who does this cat think she is. there's some clear annoyance felt from her at that thought. even if there are quiet, quiet blips of concern at those tired vibes. her ears droop a little, the ends of her tail twitching. ]
We'll go back together then. [ save them from her lecturing. she grows quiet again, before peeking at him. ] ..What was home like?
We do want the same things, to some extent. We work well together. But the others are very... ambitious.
[ it's complicated. he doesn't make friends. he doesn't even have deeply warm vibes now; his countenance is soft without being very welcoming, a quiet stillness when he picks up on her concern, with an undercurrent of guilt. ]
...You're bossy. [ not derogatory, just confused. she really said he's not allowed to rot here. ] My world is... a wide sky. It has islands that you use ships to fly between, like—for example, what most of your worlds would consider an ocean. It's a place where I've burnt my bridges. I don't need to go back. So it's all the better I turned out here, considering you lot need medical attention every other day.
[ very ambitious that is. even though it's basically said there isn't there. while some express overly flood of warmth and bright emotions (THINKS ABOUT AQUA), the fact he doesn't have those same kind of vibes doesn't bother her. it's probably why she likes being here. safe. normal. expectant. at that comment she smirks just a bit ]
'Course I am. When there's something I want, I'll demand it, I'm not afraid to!
[ brat. she's so CHILDISH. BOSSY. but she listens, intrigued, curious. her face scrunches, like she's Trying to imagine it but it sounds so different. she looks over at him, head tilted. ] Some of you really don't care about going back.
[ man.... but. ] Don't mind that you're here. Even though it's a lot of work.
[ he shakes his head, and the emotions behind it seem honest. no ambition at all. he is, at least, a calm pond when it comes to feelings—if there's emotion there, it's beneath, deep in the water.
but there is a hint of amusement at her brattiness. something quiet and accepting. in the meantime, she can have a very brief little memshare: the sight of a wide, blue sky. the edge of a floating island. airships soaring above, into the sea of clouds. ]
...This isn't as much work as you all seem to think it is.
[ patching up a few people every week is really not as bad as things usually go for him. ]
Don't worry about me. As far as I'm concerned, my purpose here is to be a resource to you.
thank you for this brief memshare. we are now granblue fantasy. though she refocuses on those emotions she felt, tail flicking at the ends. ]
Really? Sounds like a huge pain. Though... I guess it's not like someone is out getting hurt everyday.
[ she curls up a bit, just to get comfortable and lean her back properly against him as she looks up. just for a moment to think about it. ]
...The group I was with was taking care of a demon. At least, that was the plan, one of them asked me to kill him if things went wrong and to not let them revive him. So... I did. [ there aren't feelings of regret, or hesitation, just... acceptance. ] Woke up here not long after that. So, I guess I'm trying to get back to taking care of whatever happened there.
[ he responds with a quiet sort of empathy. not judgment, or pity, but just sort of—a lack of surprise. an, ah, of course it'd be that way, kind of emotion. ]
...That's still quite a burden.
[ having to kill at all. especially someone she knows. he doesn't like it. ]
You're not afraid to go back to that? [ back to the aftermath of this death? ]
Nobody else would have done it, and he knew that I would get it done without question.
[ well that's partly a lie, she did question it for a moment. didn't he want to eat with everyone in the end..? but she did it anyways, trying to shrug it off. ]
Not really. The others might be upset about it but not like we had any other choice.
[ he does believe in choices, for most people, most of the time. even when he was a slave, he could make a choice. but he recognizes that the reality is that most of them are stuck with shit options to choose from.
she doesn't seem torn up about it, but... ]
I wish it didn't fall upon you anyway. [ he does wish the world were gentler, a place where no one has to kill a familiar face. ]
[ there's a slow flick of her tail, thinking on it... yeah, she couldn't expect any of the other three to do it. and essentially she does still do what she wants but, the fact that he had asked her to do it - she still felt obligated even if she could've ignored it.
though, it probably didn't matter in the end anyways. her ears perk and she tilts her head to bunt it against him. ]
It's fine. It probably won't happen again. [ flashforward to CYOA day ]
[ this is cute, but his emotions are melancholic. when your party has to lean on a teenage girl to deal out death. it's frustrating, and it's sad; he scratches her ears a little as she does this. ]
...I hope not. [ SMASHCUT TO CYOA ] What about after that? You're going to keep looking for a way to dispel your curse?
[ tail swishes quickly, but she eases into the scratches. just a bit distracted as she slowly becomes a cat puddle. ]
Hmmm... I wanna. But nobody knows a way to dispel it. [ memshares this brief convo, one izutsumi ignores because she is still head empty and DOESN'T UNDERSTAND. ] So I was thinking.. maybe I'll take a boat, go back to the Eastern Archipelago. Find the mage that did it and beat them up.
[ SHE REALLY WAS LIKE *ANYWAYS, LEAVES YOU LIKE THAT
CUTE. HE'S CUTE. izutsumi doesn't think this, but she is a little pleased to get that kind of response. even if she crosses her arms with a light huff. ]
I just wanna be me without the whole.. beast thing. [ but there's at least some kind of feeling of quiet acceptance. ] But if I can't cure myself then beating up that guy is the next best thing. I'll deal with it, I guess.
[ i really think if anyone here is cute it is perhaps our cat ]
...It's strange to me that this isn't normal for your world. [ erunes simply exist in gbf. they are in fact the most populace race besides humans because they make the most gacha bucks after primals probably. ] I think more crucially... you should try not to lose more of this 'human' side of you. It's easy to give that up.
[ he would know because he has committed The Atrocities ]
I won't lose it. I would never give it up that easily! [ which is why that anxiety spikes in, fear, trying to dig her claws into that bits of humanity. maybe literally with her claws oops, it's the nerves.
[ that's okay, it's the hand with fantasy nerve damage that gets clawed, and he's too distracted by the memory to really care. it's really very sad now, how many times he's realized that worlds across worlds, memories across memories, people are treated this way. as chattel, for amusement, for money or labor. so often, it's only children—or people who have lost their way, or never had the luxury of a home to begin with.
izutsumi is really still just a child. it seems she ended up in a household that didn't treat her cruelly, eventually, but even that's still the exchange of ownership. it isn't just her monstrous side that's made her less human—that's how she's been treated.
his emotions in response are a quiet heartache. an incandescent fury. he ignores the claws and his better, isolating instincts to bring her in for a very gentle hug, paired with an innate understanding. ]
...I'm sorry they did that to you. I'm glad you didn't give up.
[ sometimes, doesn't matter what kind of world, some people's fates really are cruel. some with not any closure compared to others. izutsumi easily frowns at that memory, because it's one of those things where some aspects of it - some parts, like her inner thoughts for example, are shared without never any intention to. sharing too much of herself than she ever wishes.
mostly because she expects pity in turn, and she doesn't need pity. doesn't want it. it won't change what has happened, won't fix her life, but pity is not what comes and that surprises her. as much as that hug does, tensing like she doesn't fully expect it.
in a way where she isn't used to such contact. such comfort. with her life, is that really all that surprising? suffering it at the hands of one at the household in which she retaliated with hissy fits. begrudgingly dealing with it with the party before here, for sake of providing some comfort to them. but this time, it's comfort for her. she hesitates, before she slowly sinks into the hug. her ears flick back, tail tucking against her with the ends of it twitching restlessly. ]
It's just how it is. [ she never knows how to respond to someone telling her i'm sorry. at least after someone explained why someone would apologize even if they have no direct involvement in it. she grumbles a little after. ] It's still my life, and I'll make it better all on my own. So I'll keep at it.
[ he pats her back. he's not really one for pity; she turned out okay. but it's still frustrating, still sad. it won't kill him to offer a little comfort where he can, and she doesn't claw at him in retaliation, so this is fine. ]
...Good.
[ it is really so easy to give up when someone else takes a hold of your life for so long. he's grateful that she's stubborn. ]
Well. You don't need to handle it on your own... [ obviously she liked her dungeon companions you stupid tsun baby ] But it's good not to lose sight of yourself.
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no subject
We weren't friends. Just coworkers.
[ his feelings are better at containing themselves, even if there is a twinge of something painful. that careful neutrality wobbles again when she asks; she's the first to actually flat-out question this, which leaves him answering with a quiet hum. ]
...I'm not attached to them, or home. So it doesn't concern me either way. Whether I'm here or there makes no real difference in the end.
[ the vibes are very tired. ]
Still, I'd rather get you all back. So you don't have to yell at anyone.
no subject
But you all want the same thing with what's going on here, don't you? To stop what's happening.
[ little blips of puzzlement, but otherwise she doesn't seem overly shocked or surprised by that. she can kinda understand. especially when she thinks of where she was owned before her freedom. sometimes things are Complicated. ]
--Even if it doesn't concern you, there's no way we are gonna leave you here.
[ just suddenly deciding this for him? Who does this cat think she is. there's some clear annoyance felt from her at that thought. even if there are quiet, quiet blips of concern at those tired vibes. her ears droop a little, the ends of her tail twitching. ]
We'll go back together then. [ save them from her lecturing. she grows quiet again, before peeking at him. ] ..What was home like?
no subject
We do want the same things, to some extent. We work well together. But the others are very... ambitious.
[ it's complicated. he doesn't make friends. he doesn't even have deeply warm vibes now; his countenance is soft without being very welcoming, a quiet stillness when he picks up on her concern, with an undercurrent of guilt. ]
...You're bossy. [ not derogatory, just confused. she really said he's not allowed to rot here. ] My world is... a wide sky. It has islands that you use ships to fly between, like—for example, what most of your worlds would consider an ocean. It's a place where I've burnt my bridges. I don't need to go back. So it's all the better I turned out here, considering you lot need medical attention every other day.
no subject
And you're not?
[ very ambitious that is. even though it's basically said there isn't there. while some express overly flood of warmth and bright emotions (THINKS ABOUT AQUA), the fact he doesn't have those same kind of vibes doesn't bother her. it's probably why she likes being here. safe. normal. expectant. at that comment she smirks just a bit ]
'Course I am. When there's something I want, I'll demand it, I'm not afraid to!
[ brat. she's so CHILDISH. BOSSY. but she listens, intrigued, curious. her face scrunches, like she's Trying to imagine it but it sounds so different. she looks over at him, head tilted. ] Some of you really don't care about going back.
[ man.... but. ] Don't mind that you're here. Even though it's a lot of work.
no subject
but there is a hint of amusement at her brattiness. something quiet and accepting. in the meantime, she can have a very brief little memshare: the sight of a wide, blue sky. the edge of a floating island. airships soaring above, into the sea of clouds. ]
...This isn't as much work as you all seem to think it is.
[ patching up a few people every week is really not as bad as things usually go for him. ]
Don't worry about me. As far as I'm concerned, my purpose here is to be a resource to you.
What are you trying to get back to?
no subject
thank you for this brief memshare. we are now granblue fantasy. though she refocuses on those emotions she felt, tail flicking at the ends. ]
Really? Sounds like a huge pain. Though... I guess it's not like someone is out getting hurt everyday.
[ she curls up a bit, just to get comfortable and lean her back properly against him as she looks up. just for a moment to think about it. ]
...The group I was with was taking care of a demon. At least, that was the plan, one of them asked me to kill him if things went wrong and to not let them revive him. So... I did. [ there aren't feelings of regret, or hesitation, just... acceptance. ] Woke up here not long after that. So, I guess I'm trying to get back to taking care of whatever happened there.
no subject
...That's still quite a burden.
[ having to kill at all. especially someone she knows. he doesn't like it. ]
You're not afraid to go back to that? [ back to the aftermath of this death? ]
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[ well that's partly a lie, she did question it for a moment. didn't he want to eat with everyone in the end..? but she did it anyways, trying to shrug it off. ]
Not really. The others might be upset about it but not like we had any other choice.
no subject
[ he does believe in choices, for most people, most of the time. even when he was a slave, he could make a choice. but he recognizes that the reality is that most of them are stuck with shit options to choose from.
she doesn't seem torn up about it, but... ]
I wish it didn't fall upon you anyway. [ he does wish the world were gentler, a place where no one has to kill a familiar face. ]
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though, it probably didn't matter in the end anyways. her ears perk and she tilts her head to bunt it against him. ]
It's fine. It probably won't happen again. [ flashforward to CYOA day ]
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...I hope not. [ SMASHCUT TO CYOA ] What about after that? You're going to keep looking for a way to dispel your curse?
no subject
Hmmm... I wanna. But nobody knows a way to dispel it. [ memshares this brief convo, one izutsumi ignores because she is still head empty and DOESN'T UNDERSTAND. ] So I was thinking.. maybe I'll take a boat, go back to the Eastern Archipelago. Find the mage that did it and beat them up.
no subject
he lets out a very brief puff of laughter, unable to help a blip of genuine amusement. ]
...Simple enough solution. [ just go beat up your problems ] I think you're fine the way you are, though I understand a want for some comeuppance.
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CUTE. HE'S CUTE. izutsumi doesn't think this, but she is a little pleased to get that kind of response. even if she crosses her arms with a light huff. ]
I just wanna be me without the whole.. beast thing. [ but there's at least some kind of feeling of quiet acceptance. ] But if I can't cure myself then beating up that guy is the next best thing. I'll deal with it, I guess.
no subject
...It's strange to me that this isn't normal for your world. [ erunes simply exist in gbf. they are in fact the most populace race besides humans because they make the most gacha bucks after primals probably. ] I think more crucially... you should try not to lose more of this 'human' side of you. It's easy to give that up.
[ he would know because he has committed The Atrocities ]
no subject
I won't lose it. I would never give it up that easily! [ which is why that anxiety spikes in, fear, trying to dig her claws into that bits of humanity. maybe literally with her claws oops, it's the nerves.
but also woe a memshare be upon thee. ]
no subject
izutsumi is really still just a child. it seems she ended up in a household that didn't treat her cruelly, eventually, but even that's still the exchange of ownership. it isn't just her monstrous side that's made her less human—that's how she's been treated.
his emotions in response are a quiet heartache. an incandescent fury. he ignores the claws and his better, isolating instincts to bring her in for a very gentle hug, paired with an innate understanding. ]
...I'm sorry they did that to you. I'm glad you didn't give up.
no subject
mostly because she expects pity in turn, and she doesn't need pity. doesn't want it. it won't change what has happened, won't fix her life, but pity is not what comes and that surprises her. as much as that hug does, tensing like she doesn't fully expect it.
in a way where she isn't used to such contact. such comfort. with her life, is that really all that surprising? suffering it at the hands of one at the household in which she retaliated with hissy fits. begrudgingly dealing with it with the party before here, for sake of providing some comfort to them. but this time, it's comfort for her. she hesitates, before she slowly sinks into the hug. her ears flick back, tail tucking against her with the ends of it twitching restlessly. ]
It's just how it is. [ she never knows how to respond to someone telling her i'm sorry. at least after someone explained why someone would apologize even if they have no direct involvement in it. she grumbles a little after. ] It's still my life, and I'll make it better all on my own. So I'll keep at it.
no subject
...Good.
[ it is really so easy to give up when someone else takes a hold of your life for so long. he's grateful that she's stubborn. ]
Well. You don't need to handle it on your own... [ obviously she liked her dungeon companions you stupid tsun baby ] But it's good not to lose sight of yourself.