[ he does believe in choices, for most people, most of the time. even when he was a slave, he could make a choice. but he recognizes that the reality is that most of them are stuck with shit options to choose from.
she doesn't seem torn up about it, but... ]
I wish it didn't fall upon you anyway. [ he does wish the world were gentler, a place where no one has to kill a familiar face. ]
[ there's a slow flick of her tail, thinking on it... yeah, she couldn't expect any of the other three to do it. and essentially she does still do what she wants but, the fact that he had asked her to do it - she still felt obligated even if she could've ignored it.
though, it probably didn't matter in the end anyways. her ears perk and she tilts her head to bunt it against him. ]
It's fine. It probably won't happen again. [ flashforward to CYOA day ]
[ this is cute, but his emotions are melancholic. when your party has to lean on a teenage girl to deal out death. it's frustrating, and it's sad; he scratches her ears a little as she does this. ]
...I hope not. [ SMASHCUT TO CYOA ] What about after that? You're going to keep looking for a way to dispel your curse?
[ tail swishes quickly, but she eases into the scratches. just a bit distracted as she slowly becomes a cat puddle. ]
Hmmm... I wanna. But nobody knows a way to dispel it. [ memshares this brief convo, one izutsumi ignores because she is still head empty and DOESN'T UNDERSTAND. ] So I was thinking.. maybe I'll take a boat, go back to the Eastern Archipelago. Find the mage that did it and beat them up.
[ SHE REALLY WAS LIKE *ANYWAYS, LEAVES YOU LIKE THAT
CUTE. HE'S CUTE. izutsumi doesn't think this, but she is a little pleased to get that kind of response. even if she crosses her arms with a light huff. ]
I just wanna be me without the whole.. beast thing. [ but there's at least some kind of feeling of quiet acceptance. ] But if I can't cure myself then beating up that guy is the next best thing. I'll deal with it, I guess.
[ i really think if anyone here is cute it is perhaps our cat ]
...It's strange to me that this isn't normal for your world. [ erunes simply exist in gbf. they are in fact the most populace race besides humans because they make the most gacha bucks after primals probably. ] I think more crucially... you should try not to lose more of this 'human' side of you. It's easy to give that up.
[ he would know because he has committed The Atrocities ]
I won't lose it. I would never give it up that easily! [ which is why that anxiety spikes in, fear, trying to dig her claws into that bits of humanity. maybe literally with her claws oops, it's the nerves.
[ that's okay, it's the hand with fantasy nerve damage that gets clawed, and he's too distracted by the memory to really care. it's really very sad now, how many times he's realized that worlds across worlds, memories across memories, people are treated this way. as chattel, for amusement, for money or labor. so often, it's only children—or people who have lost their way, or never had the luxury of a home to begin with.
izutsumi is really still just a child. it seems she ended up in a household that didn't treat her cruelly, eventually, but even that's still the exchange of ownership. it isn't just her monstrous side that's made her less human—that's how she's been treated.
his emotions in response are a quiet heartache. an incandescent fury. he ignores the claws and his better, isolating instincts to bring her in for a very gentle hug, paired with an innate understanding. ]
...I'm sorry they did that to you. I'm glad you didn't give up.
[ sometimes, doesn't matter what kind of world, some people's fates really are cruel. some with not any closure compared to others. izutsumi easily frowns at that memory, because it's one of those things where some aspects of it - some parts, like her inner thoughts for example, are shared without never any intention to. sharing too much of herself than she ever wishes.
mostly because she expects pity in turn, and she doesn't need pity. doesn't want it. it won't change what has happened, won't fix her life, but pity is not what comes and that surprises her. as much as that hug does, tensing like she doesn't fully expect it.
in a way where she isn't used to such contact. such comfort. with her life, is that really all that surprising? suffering it at the hands of one at the household in which she retaliated with hissy fits. begrudgingly dealing with it with the party before here, for sake of providing some comfort to them. but this time, it's comfort for her. she hesitates, before she slowly sinks into the hug. her ears flick back, tail tucking against her with the ends of it twitching restlessly. ]
It's just how it is. [ she never knows how to respond to someone telling her i'm sorry. at least after someone explained why someone would apologize even if they have no direct involvement in it. she grumbles a little after. ] It's still my life, and I'll make it better all on my own. So I'll keep at it.
[ he pats her back. he's not really one for pity; she turned out okay. but it's still frustrating, still sad. it won't kill him to offer a little comfort where he can, and she doesn't claw at him in retaliation, so this is fine. ]
...Good.
[ it is really so easy to give up when someone else takes a hold of your life for so long. he's grateful that she's stubborn. ]
Well. You don't need to handle it on your own... [ obviously she liked her dungeon companions you stupid tsun baby ] But it's good not to lose sight of yourself.
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no subject
[ he does believe in choices, for most people, most of the time. even when he was a slave, he could make a choice. but he recognizes that the reality is that most of them are stuck with shit options to choose from.
she doesn't seem torn up about it, but... ]
I wish it didn't fall upon you anyway. [ he does wish the world were gentler, a place where no one has to kill a familiar face. ]
no subject
though, it probably didn't matter in the end anyways. her ears perk and she tilts her head to bunt it against him. ]
It's fine. It probably won't happen again. [ flashforward to CYOA day ]
no subject
...I hope not. [ SMASHCUT TO CYOA ] What about after that? You're going to keep looking for a way to dispel your curse?
no subject
Hmmm... I wanna. But nobody knows a way to dispel it. [ memshares this brief convo, one izutsumi ignores because she is still head empty and DOESN'T UNDERSTAND. ] So I was thinking.. maybe I'll take a boat, go back to the Eastern Archipelago. Find the mage that did it and beat them up.
no subject
he lets out a very brief puff of laughter, unable to help a blip of genuine amusement. ]
...Simple enough solution. [ just go beat up your problems ] I think you're fine the way you are, though I understand a want for some comeuppance.
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CUTE. HE'S CUTE. izutsumi doesn't think this, but she is a little pleased to get that kind of response. even if she crosses her arms with a light huff. ]
I just wanna be me without the whole.. beast thing. [ but there's at least some kind of feeling of quiet acceptance. ] But if I can't cure myself then beating up that guy is the next best thing. I'll deal with it, I guess.
no subject
...It's strange to me that this isn't normal for your world. [ erunes simply exist in gbf. they are in fact the most populace race besides humans because they make the most gacha bucks after primals probably. ] I think more crucially... you should try not to lose more of this 'human' side of you. It's easy to give that up.
[ he would know because he has committed The Atrocities ]
no subject
I won't lose it. I would never give it up that easily! [ which is why that anxiety spikes in, fear, trying to dig her claws into that bits of humanity. maybe literally with her claws oops, it's the nerves.
but also woe a memshare be upon thee. ]
no subject
izutsumi is really still just a child. it seems she ended up in a household that didn't treat her cruelly, eventually, but even that's still the exchange of ownership. it isn't just her monstrous side that's made her less human—that's how she's been treated.
his emotions in response are a quiet heartache. an incandescent fury. he ignores the claws and his better, isolating instincts to bring her in for a very gentle hug, paired with an innate understanding. ]
...I'm sorry they did that to you. I'm glad you didn't give up.
no subject
mostly because she expects pity in turn, and she doesn't need pity. doesn't want it. it won't change what has happened, won't fix her life, but pity is not what comes and that surprises her. as much as that hug does, tensing like she doesn't fully expect it.
in a way where she isn't used to such contact. such comfort. with her life, is that really all that surprising? suffering it at the hands of one at the household in which she retaliated with hissy fits. begrudgingly dealing with it with the party before here, for sake of providing some comfort to them. but this time, it's comfort for her. she hesitates, before she slowly sinks into the hug. her ears flick back, tail tucking against her with the ends of it twitching restlessly. ]
It's just how it is. [ she never knows how to respond to someone telling her i'm sorry. at least after someone explained why someone would apologize even if they have no direct involvement in it. she grumbles a little after. ] It's still my life, and I'll make it better all on my own. So I'll keep at it.
no subject
...Good.
[ it is really so easy to give up when someone else takes a hold of your life for so long. he's grateful that she's stubborn. ]
Well. You don't need to handle it on your own... [ obviously she liked her dungeon companions you stupid tsun baby ] But it's good not to lose sight of yourself.