The knight is pretty emotionally weak and useless. [ SCIEN!!!! ] He talks such a big game but crumbles like tissue paper when pressured is applied.
We've said enough times that there's no way to stop the monster the first week they're summoned, because they haven't been weakened by the Saturday ritual.
the way she sort of smiles says she doesn't...entirely disagree. rondo has a very big heart but people with big hearts and big dreams often can be hurt when they don't live up to their own expectations. she can only hope that with time rondo will realize it wasn't his fault.]
The good thing is he has people here to support him when he does crumble a little. It's the best we can offer.
[moving on!!]
The point is that if Rondo's feeling that way it might be hard for Karlach just like Lucas had a hard time accepting I forgave him. So I'm doing what I can to try and normalize things and give her space to bring it up herself. That's fair, isn't it?
Mm. It is. Let her enjoy herself for a while. She had a miserable time.
[ and there's a little spark of something protective here, though it passes quickly. he knows karlach can handle herself, but he's gotten a bit used to taking care of her ]
She knows where there is space for her to cry, if she finds that she needs it.
[she tilts her head a little as she observes him.]
...I am glad she was able to find that with you. It's one of the things I wanted for her more than anything. [people to lean on when everybody else was leaning on her. yes, the irony is not lost on her. shut up.]
I'll keep her busy with something fun. Don't worry.
[luckily for everyone involved she's aware of what kind of person he is.]
Scien, I don't think you need to know a fourteen year old almost made me cry yesterday because of something stupid. Though you know I appreciate the sentiment.
[there is a reason she's bringing it up but also yeah that happened.]
Did you know it's difficult to try to explain to people you're dead only for one of them to decide they don't believe you?
[again, karma is a child, but aerith's entire relationship with karma is built around trying to get him to trust her and not lose his marbles repeatedly. he'd asked her for proof that death wasn't the end, and when she'd said she was proof herself he just trivialized her death on accident.]
He does. [little bit of worry, little bit of fondness.] We've talked a lot and I get where he's struggling. I know he can't fully process everything he's feeling and tends to explode and cause destruction because it's the only way for him to try and deal with it. Eventually after he was done destroying the school I asked him to try and explain. He had hopes that maybe there was a way to bring Daan and Karlach back to your side, like what happened to Camille. And it led to the conversation about how there are worse things than death, but that death isn't the end. So he asked me for proof, and I wasn't proof enough. I think he thought when I said I died that I was saved and came back after a few minutes.
[and she'd been too blindsided to correct him. also again, child.]
It's fine, we're fine, just...a lot after the other two times last week went a little better.
.... it is good for you to have shared with others.
[ he is proud of her for that. it shows in his feelings. noting that she is trying, and she is doing her best for it. ]
There is probably something to be said about what you learn from setbacks, but I don't care about that right now.
It's fine to be frustrated and feel invalidated. You don't need to be mad at a child, but if it stings, just say so. You tried to trust someone, and they didn't know the right thing to say. Even if it was accidental, it can cause damage.
[there's a faint blip of something almost like gratitude when he says "i don't care about that right now" because even if she doesn't often say it, she does take value in people understanding she's just as weak to some things as other people.]
The good thing in all of it is he recognized it made me unhappy and apologized for going too far, so I'd still call it a win. [...] "You're always so bright and warm and full of life. It's hard for me to imagine anything otherwise." It'd be pretty stupid to actually be mad, but it was...more difficult than I thought. Like maybe I thought people would automatically accept it.
[karma aside...]
Iwatooshi had a few confused feelings on it, I think, but ultimately understood. The fake Mikazuki said just enough for him to ask me. [...] And I chose to tell Lucas myself.
Most people should automatically accept that others wouldn't be blasé about their own death in a normal society.
[ scien is an exception because arpéchéle is a hellpit as aerith is personally experiencing, but also it's not a normal society. ]
He is a child. You do not need to make excuses for him. We already agree that he did not mean harm, but that does not change it was inflicted. You can be allotted time to process and heal all the same.
If the others accepted it... that is steps forward. You should not have to hide one of your troubles, if you want to share it.
[you'd think that, yes, but it's a lesson in only telling people who have the mental capacity to actually listen to her.]
So you won't think it's ridiculous to pull back from telling other people for a little while? [dubiously, but still something to consider.] I don't think it'll need to come up much for a little while anyway.
But you're right. It's steps forward with people knowing, even if I don't know what to say afterwards or how to say I don't know how to fix it yet, but I want to. [...] I want to go back. More than before.
You will know when it's right for you. If you still need time to recover from a setback, it is the same thing as injuring yourself when learning a new skill like swordplay. Heal, and get back at it.
[ he won't encourage her to run away forever but emotional processing takes time or whatever (scien is still a psychopath) ]
Good.
How do you want to go back? As yourself? Or do you think it'll be disruptive to your... lifestream?
[ he's trying to remember all your fantasy terms ]
[she nods to the first part because it makes sense and she doesn't think she needs to contribute any thought to it. no questions there.]
Myself, I think. I was going back to the lifestream but I didn't get there yet. Maybe there's a reason for that. And Cloud said Zack came to him, and I still don't understand that but it has to mean there's a way.
Yeah. A little while ago. [does not explain the zack, but she thinks the time part of it is important.] I don't really know how. He left for a mission a few years ago, and he never answered any of my letters, but I know he returned to the planet. And...now with this, I don't know what it means. If Cloud could see both of us, and talk to both of us, but he's alive, then what are we? You know?
As long as that can be captured and placed into a suitable vessel, ideally as close to a copy of your body as possible, then it should work fine. Though I typically have mixed feelings about returning from the dead after prolonged disappearances... I won't pass judgment on what is necessary for your world.
[ it seems
complicated with meteors and sephiroths and whatnot ]
But that's the last resort option for reviving you.
[ he doesn't really want his tech to wander off to another room where he can't supervise it and he doesn't trust that people won't burn aerith's body upon her death to protect the secrecy of the knowledge
I do appreciate the offer. [because she has a sense of how he feels about his own creation and man-made god, etc. that being said...] But you're right, it's a last resort. I want to find a way myself, and maybe being dead here, too, will make it easier. The only thing to worry about then is explaining it to everyone else we know. It wasn't that long before we came here.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
We've said enough times that there's no way to stop the monster the first week they're summoned, because they haven't been weakened by the Saturday ritual.
no subject
the way she sort of smiles says she doesn't...entirely disagree. rondo has a very big heart but people with big hearts and big dreams often can be hurt when they don't live up to their own expectations. she can only hope that with time rondo will realize it wasn't his fault.]
The good thing is he has people here to support him when he does crumble a little. It's the best we can offer.
[moving on!!]
The point is that if Rondo's feeling that way it might be hard for Karlach just like Lucas had a hard time accepting I forgave him. So I'm doing what I can to try and normalize things and give her space to bring it up herself. That's fair, isn't it?
no subject
[ and there's a little spark of something protective here, though it passes quickly. he knows karlach can handle herself, but he's gotten a bit used to taking care of her ]
She knows where there is space for her to cry, if she finds that she needs it.
no subject
...I am glad she was able to find that with you. It's one of the things I wanted for her more than anything. [people to lean on when everybody else was leaning on her. yes, the irony is not lost on her. shut up.]
I'll keep her busy with something fun. Don't worry.
no subject
[ this is so funny to him because he fucking sees it so exactly ]
Then you also know where to find me when you need a place to cry.
no subject
Scien, I don't think you need to know a fourteen year old almost made me cry yesterday because of something stupid. Though you know I appreciate the sentiment.
[there is a reason she's bringing it up but also yeah that happened.]
no subject
[ it's fine he's mostly just teasing
he makes an open handed gesture
go ahead and tell him ]
no subject
[again, karma is a child, but aerith's entire relationship with karma is built around trying to get him to trust her and not lose his marbles repeatedly. he'd asked her for proof that death wasn't the end, and when she'd said she was proof herself he just trivialized her death on accident.]
no subject
help me ]
Hades, does that kid have problems.
[ there's once again no actual malice or even irritation but just a feeling of being astonished. karma. ]
no subject
He does. [little bit of worry, little bit of fondness.] We've talked a lot and I get where he's struggling. I know he can't fully process everything he's feeling and tends to explode and cause destruction because it's the only way for him to try and deal with it. Eventually after he was done destroying the school I asked him to try and explain. He had hopes that maybe there was a way to bring Daan and Karlach back to your side, like what happened to Camille. And it led to the conversation about how there are worse things than death, but that death isn't the end. So he asked me for proof, and I wasn't proof enough. I think he thought when I said I died that I was saved and came back after a few minutes.
[and she'd been too blindsided to correct him. also again, child.]
It's fine, we're fine, just...a lot after the other two times last week went a little better.
no subject
[ he is proud of her for that. it shows in his feelings. noting that she is trying, and she is doing her best for it. ]
There is probably something to be said about what you learn from setbacks, but I don't care about that right now.
It's fine to be frustrated and feel invalidated. You don't need to be mad at a child, but if it stings, just say so. You tried to trust someone, and they didn't know the right thing to say. Even if it was accidental, it can cause damage.
no subject
The good thing in all of it is he recognized it made me unhappy and apologized for going too far, so I'd still call it a win. [...] "You're always so bright and warm and full of life. It's hard for me to imagine anything otherwise." It'd be pretty stupid to actually be mad, but it was...more difficult than I thought. Like maybe I thought people would automatically accept it.
[karma aside...]
Iwatooshi had a few confused feelings on it, I think, but ultimately understood. The fake Mikazuki said just enough for him to ask me. [...] And I chose to tell Lucas myself.
[sorry she chose to blorbo your dog.]
no subject
[ scien is an exception because arpéchéle is a hellpit as aerith is personally experiencing, but also it's not a normal society. ]
He is a child. You do not need to make excuses for him. We already agree that he did not mean harm, but that does not change it was inflicted. You can be allotted time to process and heal all the same.
If the others accepted it... that is steps forward. You should not have to hide one of your troubles, if you want to share it.
no subject
So you won't think it's ridiculous to pull back from telling other people for a little while? [dubiously, but still something to consider.] I don't think it'll need to come up much for a little while anyway.
But you're right. It's steps forward with people knowing, even if I don't know what to say afterwards or how to say I don't know how to fix it yet, but I want to. [...] I want to go back. More than before.
no subject
[ he won't encourage her to run away forever but emotional processing takes time or whatever (scien is still a psychopath) ]
Good.
How do you want to go back? As yourself? Or do you think it'll be disruptive to your... lifestream?
[ he's trying to remember all your fantasy terms ]
no subject
Myself, I think. I was going back to the lifestream but I didn't get there yet. Maybe there's a reason for that. And Cloud said Zack came to him, and I still don't understand that but it has to mean there's a way.
no subject
[ who
is zack ]
no subject
no subject
As long as that can be captured and placed into a suitable vessel, ideally as close to a copy of your body as possible, then it should work fine. Though I typically have mixed feelings about returning from the dead after prolonged disappearances... I won't pass judgment on what is necessary for your world.
[ it seems
complicated with meteors and sephiroths and whatnot ]
no subject
...isn't that similar to your reliver thing? [just shoving people into other sustainable bodies.]
no subject
But that's the last resort option for reviving you.
[ he doesn't really want his tech to wander off to another room where he can't supervise it and he doesn't trust that people won't burn aerith's body upon her death to protect the secrecy of the knowledge
that said
he'll offer it ]
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
But I do think the feelings of celebration will outweigh the misery. Even if it is complicated, it would probably be worthwhile to them.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)