I'd give names but I'm sure one of them would probably kill me. Metaphorically speaking. But...Rondo seems fond of you. Yuffie, too. People I trust to have a decent read on other people, at least.
And...that's why I'm calling, I guess. Because I think you're a decent person who is also four weeks into our own personal hell but you're the kind of person who won't often let people check on how you're really doing with all of this kind of stuff.
[ someone said something nice about him, but will kill HER if she doxxes them? hmmmm. he doesn't know anyone like that. ]
...
[ UNFORTUNATE she can literally see the confused, awkward silence on him in real time as he deals with this bizarre pin-pointed call out. wow. okay. goodbye. ]
I suppose I still am not accustomed to people checking on me, even if a few had from time to time before I came here.
[METAPHORICALLY!!! also yeah that's what she thought.]
Sounds a little lonely, War. I'm sure you're capable of taking care of yourself just fine, but...this is still a different experience for you, too, right? I kind of had this conversation with Ashlyn before I left, how these things keep happening but there isn't always much to do about it except try to plan how to not let it happen again. Even then, I don't think pushing past it without thinking it over is any better though.
Well...you mentioned other people expect your tenacity. Are those people here? Or is it that you've grown used to other people where you're from expecting it that it's something you do here and have a hard time thinking of other choices?
...I get it. There are people where I'm from that have expectations of me, too, even if I'm not sure how to meet them. And even when I wouldn't want to. [so. so...] What kind...?
[she doesn't seem to mind waiting, and she doesn't even prompt him about what he was originally going to say. especially since she's busy needling him in the first place.]
...those all seem important. [there's something in her expression that kind of resonates as understanding, like "i'm in this picture and i don't like it."] But are these the same people who thought less of you because you questioned things?
My mother isn't... excited... about my lack of belief. She is the Umavi of our den, someone who has gone through the consecuted process of reincarnation for many lifetimes until she has become a perfect soul. Obviously, she would put a lot of faith in, well, our faith. Our queen is the same, an Umavi.
But because of my mother, I have been given a special privilege not afforded to many. I also have a younger brother, so as the oldest...
[she's a little curious about this reincarnation thing and if that's, like, a requirement or a suggestion for people of their den, but she's not going to ask that. rather, she's listening and kind of digesting what all of this means for war. it makes some sense, having leniency because of who your mother may be, but still knowing there are things only you can and should do.]
It's put you in kind of a tough position, hasn't it? There's pressure even if they aren't fully pushing for it, because it's what people think you were born to do. [and that's a little rough.] And as the oldest you're meant to set an example. Something like that?
Something like that. Here, too. Do not all of you look to us as overseers? Asking us questions, requiring a level of accountability, trust, and intelligence from us?
Sure, because you have a better pulse on the situation. But in that same vein, aren't people asking you all questions because they want to find a way to help and take some of the burden off of you, too?
[does war think the burden of sacrifices being here is enough for them so they shouldn't worry, or does he think him being here and trying to solve it is enough motivation without their help?]
And you didn't ask to be told to sacrifice us. [they could do this all day.] Think it's a testimony to all four of you that people continue to seek out your company and guidance even knowing you're still a part of the thing we're fighting again.
Then you may as well accept that we won't either. [so THERE.] I can still worry about our situation while worrying about you guys. That won't change either. That's all I'm getting at, really.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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And...that's why I'm calling, I guess. Because I think you're a decent person who is also four weeks into our own personal hell but you're the kind of person who won't often let people check on how you're really doing with all of this kind of stuff.
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...
[ UNFORTUNATE she can literally see the confused, awkward silence on him in real time as he deals with this bizarre pin-pointed call out. wow. okay. goodbye. ]
I suppose I still am not accustomed to people checking on me, even if a few had from time to time before I came here.
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Sounds a little lonely, War. I'm sure you're capable of taking care of yourself just fine, but...this is still a different experience for you, too, right? I kind of had this conversation with Ashlyn before I left, how these things keep happening but there isn't always much to do about it except try to plan how to not let it happen again. Even then, I don't think pushing past it without thinking it over is any better though.
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It is is less I am rolling full ahead and more... others expect the tenacity of my rigid nature from me.
[ on the inside he is screaming with anxiety. that sorta thing. ]
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And what is it you expect from yourself? Seems to me you've been doing a lot of what you think other people expect instead.
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That depends in what... context you're asking.
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Well...you mentioned other people expect your tenacity. Are those people here? Or is it that you've grown used to other people where you're from expecting it that it's something you do here and have a hard time thinking of other choices?
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There are many expectations of me where I am from.
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...I get it. There are people where I'm from that have expectations of me, too, even if I'm not sure how to meet them. And even when I wouldn't want to. [so. so...] What kind...?
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The usual. My duty to the court. My prodigy of magic to my den and the Dynasty. My service to my mother.
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...those all seem important. [there's something in her expression that kind of resonates as understanding, like "i'm in this picture and i don't like it."] But are these the same people who thought less of you because you questioned things?
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My mother isn't... excited... about my lack of belief. She is the Umavi of our den, someone who has gone through the consecuted process of reincarnation for many lifetimes until she has become a perfect soul. Obviously, she would put a lot of faith in, well, our faith. Our queen is the same, an Umavi.
But because of my mother, I have been given a special privilege not afforded to many. I also have a younger brother, so as the oldest...
[ elder child syndrome ]
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It's put you in kind of a tough position, hasn't it? There's pressure even if they aren't fully pushing for it, because it's what people think you were born to do. [and that's a little rough.] And as the oldest you're meant to set an example. Something like that?
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Something like that. Here, too. Do not all of you look to us as overseers? Asking us questions, requiring a level of accountability, trust, and intelligence from us?
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Sure, because you have a better pulse on the situation. But in that same vein, aren't people asking you all questions because they want to find a way to help and take some of the burden off of you, too?
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There isn't any need for that. The burden of being here is enough.
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Whose burden. Ours, or yours?
[does war think the burden of sacrifices being here is enough for them so they shouldn't worry, or does he think him being here and trying to solve it is enough motivation without their help?]
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[ stop worrying, it's already so bad you all are here being set up for mass murder... ]
You did not ask to be here.
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[all of the overseers are cait sith..]
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It's bizarre. [ everyone here is a weirdo and a masochist. they're all fucking mean. ] I won't change my mind.
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Then you may as well accept that we won't either. [so THERE.] I can still worry about our situation while worrying about you guys. That won't change either. That's all I'm getting at, really.