[HIS ENDLESS CURSED SMILE... SOMEONE DID THIS TO HIM.]
Oh, don't be silly. [Is it going to feel like being hit by a car?? Hard to believe when everything is so peachy keen right now.
He's not really following Scien's train of logic at the moment though, specifically because those drugs are where his mind wanders when he's feeling low, low, low. Capucine had said it once, about a him that isn't him but still is - this one is his favorite. But right now he's feeling anything but low! The idea of needing to blunt pain is so far from his mind.]
They're in my room. [AERITH DIDN'T EVEN ASK FOR ANY HE HAS ALL 3.] Shall I fetch them?
[UP HE GOES to toddle off except it takes him a while to come back because he gets distracted by more bullshit along the way. HELP. But he comes back!! With the vials.]
I did. [ and then, simply: ] If you seek to be in control of your own mind again, you should break them.
[ a suggestion, but framed as a choice. it's a wicked move when lucas is currently cursed to hell and back, but at the same time, scien can't help but feel that leaving the temptation would be worse. a foggy mind that destroys his ability to heal, and would make all further rehabilitation that much more difficult.
last time, he left lucas alone in a ditch somewhere because the rest of the country was exploding. he didn't think too hard about it. 'maybe he's dead,' he'd told everyone else, even as he stowed away an extra antidote for the toxins in his own belongings. scien knows he can get past this, if only by sheer necessity. ]
If you choose to do so, then you can take the medicine I gave you instead. I'll take my medicine too.
[ his fucking vitamins so his body doesn't fall apart from malnutrition ]
[It's framed as a choice and it's one he doesn't even have to think about too hard, because when he's not bogged down by a thousand metric tonnes of Catholic Guilt, there's no temptation to use a drug that helps his mind be quiet.]
Ah, well. I hardly need them now. [OOOO THIS IS GOING TO HAUNT HIM SO SOON but it's fine. For now everything's fine! He doesn't want to leave glass in the basement for someone else to cut themselves on if he misses a piece, so he'll just go through each syringe one by one, removing the rubber safety stopper from the needles and emptying the contents. HE LOOKS SO HAPPY ABOUT THIS. THIS WILL BE THE LAST HAPPINESS HE FEELS.
Though, curiously (cheerful), while he's doing that:] What are you taking medicine for? You've already treated the curse, haven't you?
scien will watch this, making sure every last drop is gone. that will be painful later. lucas has already been going through detox, but the emotional strain will probably be more difficult than the physical one now. maybe he'll accept it as his catholic punishment, which would be the only halfway decent thing religion has ever done for him. ]
Treatment to heal could not have begun while you were still relying on those drugs. Remember that. If you want to live a long life alongside Nadia, this is a necessary, painful step.
[ will lucas remember that later.... scien fucking hopes so. anyway the image of him rummages around to find his own vials.... ]
That's right. My body isn't affected by the so-called curse. However I still don't always get enough nutrients after all the experiments I've done on myself, so I take supplements. I also haven't fixed my lungs, so I need pain medication.
[HE'LL HARDLY NEED THEM NOW!! It's fine, it's fine. There's a little puddle of horrible drugs on the floor that will soon evaporate and leave him without a crutch, and three empty syringes lined up neatly in front of him. His smile doesn't waver.]
There's nothing that I want more.
[This is true even though he is so cursed right now... But!! He just watches Scien fetch his own vials with that same placid curiosity.]
Oh. Experiments? [SELF-EXPERIMENTS.] Why weren't you taking your medication already? It's bad practice to lecture patients when you aren't heeding your own advice.
[This would normally be a huffy fussy SCOLD but at the moment it's just a happy gentle tease.]
[ if there's nothing he wants more then let that be his guiding light through his suffering later.... ]
I don't give Nadia or any of the other people I'm treating anything that I don't test on myself first. So I do have to alter my own body at times.
[ SELF-EXPERIMENTATION HOURS CONTINUES. SOMETIMES YOUR BODY IS JUST ANOTHER TOOL FOR THE EXPANSION OF SCIENCE AND RESEARCH. but it's funny because scien truly will take the arrow long before he lets innocent people suffer
For now, there's the cheery surprise again! Wow! He's learning so many new things about Scien and he is not inclined to immediately disbelieve everything because of the ingrained intense and insane hatred within him! Wowee the devil tests out Nadia's treatments on himself first, what a time to be alive!]
That sounds like a taxing endeavor! [TO SAY THE LEAST. But since Scien is currently dealing with him instead of working (he's probably still working) maybe so--] Will you take it, then?
[ he tilts his head slightly at the suggestion that it's taxing. is it? ]
It is the obvious course of action. [ IS IT, SCIEN? ] I know you would agree with me that that child is worth every effort. I do not pursue things half-heartedly. I will not break my word to you.
[ nadia WILL be healed. but regardless he nods in lucas' direction ]
Did you take your medicine already? If not, let's have it together.
[IS IT????? IT'S A COURSE OF ACTION THAT WILL HAUNT HIM LATER!! For now, though, he remains jovial. Taking Lavi's hohoho energy.]
I do agree with that! [NADIA IS WORTH THE WHOLE WORLD even with all of his Catholic Guilt he'd still soup this whole camp if it meant saving her life. But now he gets to be happy vibes about it instead of crushed!]
I haven't, yet. [HE DOESN'T EVEN GET TO TAKE NO STEPS FORWARD OR BACK NOW DAMN he did bring the bottle with him this time though since he remembered Scien wanting him to take it when he saw it in his room, so he pulls it from a pocket and starts to uncap it to shake a pill out.]
[ they're in agreement about nadia then, as scien assumed that they would be. truly lucas not loving nadia will singlehandedly prove that he's a crazy pod person.
scien has multiple vials to take, but he'll at least entertain the request. he can't help but laugh faintly—amused, not entirely mockingly for once. ]
Like a cheers if you insist, you lush.
[ says the lightweight... but scien will bring his vial closer to where lucas can see it in their facetime for a clink clink ]
[CAN YOU IMAGINE A REALITY IN WHICH HE DOES NOT LOVE NADIA that's the Reliver AU he feared his whole life honestly.]
I haven't even had a full bottle today, you know!
[SAYS LUCAS WHO FORGOT THAT SCIEN SAID HE DIDN'T MEET HIM UNTIL HE WAS IMPLODING AND INSANE. His five bottles of wine dinner, hidden once more... But he doesn't have any water so he just tippytaps his lil pill-holding hand toward the facetime image of the vial.]
[BOTTOMS UP. Pops this pill that is so much better for him than his horrible syringes full of demon drugs. After he's done:]
You keep saying that?
[STOP GIVING HIM YOUR WORD. Except rather than being confused and enraged he's just still confused and enthused. He caps his pill bottle, sliding it back away.]
I would rather give you action, but it is hard to do so when you are still so distrusting... and I don't want to override your ability to make conscious choices.
[ scien like honestly i could knock you out and force you into detox (which yves route scien was gonna do anyway,,) but right now you're awake and it can't be helped ]
But I will not give up. On you, on her, or your future. That is all there is to it.
[YVES ROUTE SCIEN REALLY SAID NO BEING DELICATE NO WAITING WE FIX THIS PROBLEM NOW. Meanwhile Lucas continues to vibe like a cat who took gabapentin.]
You say such complicated things so simply! [THEY ARE ONLY COMPLICATED TO YOUR CRAZY LITTLE BRAIN.] But thank you, it's very kind. As far as conscious choices go, I'd always choose the option that led to Nadia's wellness and a bright and lovely future, of course.
[ scien's whole thing is making complicated things turn out to be simple though, so he's not altogether surprised. as for still choosing nadia above all else, he's not surprised ]
Then you know that you are necessary for her future to be so 'bright'. Stop neglecting yourself, or she'll pout at you. Those exchanges are so constant, I get tired of hearing them.
[ lucas being all sad and catholic and nadia just reverse uno-ing him with 'oh but if i was the reason then maybe i should be sad too' and then lucas just fucking giving up while scien writes down her vitals on a chart in the background ]
[HE REALLY DID DO THAT. FUCKING BLEW THE MAN UP AND NEVER REALIZED BUT INSULTED HIM ON HIS WAY OUT THE DOOR. Cheerfully walking around the subject of brainwashing. He cannot feel conflicting emotions but he can still run.]
Oh, I see! Yes, he hates you very much. It makes sense, given you're the father of all Relivers.
[A DEMON says Lucas full of happiness and cheer and then happiness, cheer and confusion.]
I'm still teaching. [HE'S STILL A TEACHER.] I do find it to be my soul's calling!
[It is not a strong enough tether alone in the face of ALL THIS MISERY but it's something outside of Nadia, at least. Or something.]
... unpack that statement. Ortie is a Reliver. Would he hate me for that reason? Or is it more convenient for him to convince you to hate me?
[ does it make sense, lucas? does it? ]
Ah, right. [ a beat. there is a reason why his lucas needed therapy before going back to teaching.... ] You do seem to have the skill and patience for it.
[SCIEN TRYING TO SPEEDRUN THERAPY WHILE LUCAS IS IN TOO MUCH OF A GOOD MOOD TO QUESTION ANYTHING. Too bad that this will absolutely hit like a truck later and then he gets bulldozed Thursday.]
Ah... It is strange! Though, is it not true that your creation reflects your uncaring heart?
[SAID CHEERFULLY AND DESPITE THE FACT THAT ALL SCIEN HAS SHOWN HIM IS A CARING HEART. Brainwashing is rough even when you're cursed about it.]
[ he knows he can't do complete therapy in just a few hours but he can definitely start to poke holes in things while he has lucas around for a conversation. he doesn't want to talk about what makes lucas happy, but he'll talk about the complicated history of relivers in hindsight ]
Does it? Or does it not show my commitment to life, to prevent our island of people from dying out before a cure is found? Will you of all tell me that some people deserve to die just because of the circumstances of their birth, or should someone try to fix it?
[ nadia was especially unlucky and wasn't even going to make it to 23. but isn't 23 also inherently unfair? scien solved it all out of boredom, yes, but hhe also didn't abandon it once he found the temporary reliver fix.
a beat, and then thoughtful ]
The initial Reliver model had defects. I was too proud to admit that for a long time, as being a Reliver halted even my ability to grow and change my mind until drastic circumstances came along.
... but both of my friends died, as a result of my negligence. I will be paying for that for the rest of my life. So I made changes to the Reliver model and forced everyone to upgrade, so emotional processing is restored so everyone can live their one, normal, human life.
However, if Relivers didn't exist, Nadia would never have been born. [ since the prousts were relivers... ] If they didn't exist, I would have died long before I could meet you in my timeline, or save her. If I didn't exist, medical technology in our island would still be in the stone age, and it would've been harder to even keep her alive to [ tilts head. ] How old is yours? 12?
[STOP, NO, GO BACK TO TALKING ABOUT THINGS THAT MAKE LUCAS HAPPY!! Except again that's just everything right now, including this complicated history of Relivers which includes the fact that Scien did irrefutably save their wholeass nation, even if his technology also created many problems within said saved nation. They WEREN'T EVEN REALLY HIS FAULT but Lucas is still of the inclination to cast blame and bite regardless, even if the biting part is on the backburner for now.]
I don't think the Scien Brofiise that I know has any plans on altering the model. [HIS FRIENDS AREN'T DEAD.] But it's surprising that you would consider changing it at all! And I suppose just as surprising to know that you have friends?
[HAD. IT WAS ONLY THE TWO. "BOTH OF MY FRIENDS" MEANS BOTH OF THE ONLY TWO HE HAS. Lucas just says this all with the same sort of even-keeled pleasant demeanor. He is learning so much about local demon lord Scien Brofiise today!]
Nadia is a blessing from God, but it's true that much of the technology that helped support her recovery is credited to you. It's also undeniably true that she wouldn't be here if Relivers didn't exist, even if our parents failed her terribly.
[THEY'RE ALREADY DEAD ALSO HE HAS SO MANY COMPLEX FEELINGS ABOUT THIS BUT CAN ONLY EXPRESS :)]
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Oh, don't be silly. [Is it going to feel like being hit by a car?? Hard to believe when everything is so peachy keen right now.
He's not really following Scien's train of logic at the moment though, specifically because those drugs are where his mind wanders when he's feeling low, low, low. Capucine had said it once, about a him that isn't him but still is - this one is his favorite. But right now he's feeling anything but low! The idea of needing to blunt pain is so far from his mind.]
They're in my room. [AERITH DIDN'T EVEN ASK FOR ANY HE HAS ALL 3.] Shall I fetch them?
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Yes. Come back once you've grabbed them. We can keep talking about Nadia and cats.
[ that's incentive for lucas to come back right ]
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Alright, give me one moment.
[UP HE GOES to toddle off except it takes him a while to come back because he gets distracted by more bullshit along the way. HELP. But he comes back!! With the vials.]
You wanted to see them?
[Does he have to scoot real close again, damn.]
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[ a suggestion, but framed as a choice. it's a wicked move when lucas is currently cursed to hell and back, but at the same time, scien can't help but feel that leaving the temptation would be worse. a foggy mind that destroys his ability to heal, and would make all further rehabilitation that much more difficult.
last time, he left lucas alone in a ditch somewhere because the rest of the country was exploding. he didn't think too hard about it. 'maybe he's dead,' he'd told everyone else, even as he stowed away an extra antidote for the toxins in his own belongings. scien knows he can get past this, if only by sheer necessity. ]
If you choose to do so, then you can take the medicine I gave you instead. I'll take my medicine too.
[ his fucking vitamins so his body doesn't fall apart from malnutrition ]
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Ah, well. I hardly need them now. [OOOO THIS IS GOING TO HAUNT HIM SO SOON but it's fine. For now everything's fine! He doesn't want to leave glass in the basement for someone else to cut themselves on if he misses a piece, so he'll just go through each syringe one by one, removing the rubber safety stopper from the needles and emptying the contents. HE LOOKS SO HAPPY ABOUT THIS. THIS WILL BE THE LAST HAPPINESS HE FEELS.
Though, curiously (cheerful), while he's doing that:] What are you taking medicine for? You've already treated the curse, haven't you?
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scien will watch this, making sure every last drop is gone. that will be painful later. lucas has already been going through detox, but the emotional strain will probably be more difficult than the physical one now. maybe he'll accept it as his catholic punishment, which would be the only halfway decent thing religion has ever done for him. ]
Treatment to heal could not have begun while you were still relying on those drugs. Remember that. If you want to live a long life alongside Nadia, this is a necessary, painful step.
[ will lucas remember that later.... scien fucking hopes so. anyway the image of him rummages around to find his own vials.... ]
That's right. My body isn't affected by the so-called curse. However I still don't always get enough nutrients after all the experiments I've done on myself, so I take supplements. I also haven't fixed my lungs, so I need pain medication.
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There's nothing that I want more.
[This is true even though he is so cursed right now... But!! He just watches Scien fetch his own vials with that same placid curiosity.]
Oh. Experiments? [SELF-EXPERIMENTS.] Why weren't you taking your medication already? It's bad practice to lecture patients when you aren't heeding your own advice.
[This would normally be a huffy fussy SCOLD but at the moment it's just a happy gentle tease.]
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I don't give Nadia or any of the other people I'm treating anything that I don't test on myself first. So I do have to alter my own body at times.
[ SELF-EXPERIMENTATION HOURS CONTINUES. SOMETIMES YOUR BODY IS JUST ANOTHER TOOL FOR THE EXPANSION OF SCIENCE AND RESEARCH. but it's funny because scien truly will take the arrow long before he lets innocent people suffer
anyway, ]
I just haven't taken today's dose. I was working.
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For now, there's the cheery surprise again! Wow! He's learning so many new things about Scien and he is not inclined to immediately disbelieve everything because of the ingrained intense and insane hatred within him! Wowee the devil tests out Nadia's treatments on himself first, what a time to be alive!]
That sounds like a taxing endeavor! [TO SAY THE LEAST. But since Scien is currently dealing with him instead of working (he's probably still working) maybe so--] Will you take it, then?
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It is the obvious course of action. [ IS IT, SCIEN? ] I know you would agree with me that that child is worth every effort. I do not pursue things half-heartedly. I will not break my word to you.
[ nadia WILL be healed. but regardless he nods in lucas' direction ]
Did you take your medicine already? If not, let's have it together.
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I do agree with that! [NADIA IS WORTH THE WHOLE WORLD even with all of his Catholic Guilt he'd still soup this whole camp if it meant saving her life. But now he gets to be happy vibes about it instead of crushed!]
I haven't, yet. [HE DOESN'T EVEN GET TO TAKE NO STEPS FORWARD OR BACK NOW DAMN he did bring the bottle with him this time though since he remembered Scien wanting him to take it when he saw it in his room, so he pulls it from a pocket and starts to uncap it to shake a pill out.]
Like a cheers?
[Stop drinking.]
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scien has multiple vials to take, but he'll at least entertain the request. he can't help but laugh faintly—amused, not entirely mockingly for once. ]
Like a cheers if you insist, you lush.
[ says the lightweight... but scien will bring his vial closer to where lucas can see it in their facetime for a clink clink ]
You decide what we are cheers-ing to.
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I haven't even had a full bottle today, you know!
[SAYS LUCAS WHO FORGOT THAT SCIEN SAID HE DIDN'T MEET HIM UNTIL HE WAS IMPLODING AND INSANE. His five bottles of wine dinner, hidden once more... But he doesn't have any water so he just tippytaps his lil pill-holding hand toward the facetime image of the vial.]
Hm... To not being dead yet, I suppose?
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[ that's plenty for scien. scien is some people. but he'll get as close to a clink clink to the pill as he can ]
Mm. It's not over yet.
I will return you to her. You have my word.
[ and he'll knock back his vial afterward. bottoms up ]
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You keep saying that?
[STOP GIVING HIM YOUR WORD. Except rather than being confused and enraged he's just still confused and enthused. He caps his pill bottle, sliding it back away.]
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[ scien like honestly i could knock you out and force you into detox (which yves route scien was gonna do anyway,,) but right now you're awake and it can't be helped ]
But I will not give up. On you, on her, or your future. That is all there is to it.
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You say such complicated things so simply! [THEY ARE ONLY COMPLICATED TO YOUR CRAZY LITTLE BRAIN.] But thank you, it's very kind. As far as conscious choices go, I'd always choose the option that led to Nadia's wellness and a bright and lovely future, of course.
[EVEN CURSED ALL TO HELL IT'S ALL ABOUT NADIA.]
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[ scien's whole thing is making complicated things turn out to be simple though, so he's not altogether surprised. as for still choosing nadia above all else, he's not surprised ]
Then you know that you are necessary for her future to be so 'bright'. Stop neglecting yourself, or she'll pout at you. Those exchanges are so constant, I get tired of hearing them.
[ lucas being all sad and catholic and nadia just reverse uno-ing him with 'oh but if i was the reason then maybe i should be sad too' and then lucas just fucking giving up while scien writes down her vitals on a chart in the background ]
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[That's what makes it complicated... GOD THOUGH. Nadia isn't here to guilt him out of his guilt so everyone just gets to suffer.]
I don't think that I neglect myself, though? [HE TAKES CARE OF HIMSELF!! Physically.] And I do know that! That's why I'm still here, after all.
[If he thought Nadia would be fine without him his ass would have just confessed about Ichiban since he'd have gotten the Vicks either way.]
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[ and also scien went out of his way to insult his life's work but i actually doubt scien would remember that detail in particular. so funny ]
... have you considered having another reason for being here? Like going back to teaching?
[ since lucas liked it enough to go through therapy to return to his occupation... ]
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Oh, I see! Yes, he hates you very much. It makes sense, given you're the father of all Relivers.
[A DEMON says Lucas full of happiness and cheer and then happiness, cheer and confusion.]
I'm still teaching. [HE'S STILL A TEACHER.] I do find it to be my soul's calling!
[It is not a strong enough tether alone in the face of ALL THIS MISERY but it's something outside of Nadia, at least. Or something.]
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[ does it make sense, lucas? does it? ]
Ah, right. [ a beat. there is a reason why his lucas needed therapy before going back to teaching.... ] You do seem to have the skill and patience for it.
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Ah... It is strange! Though, is it not true that your creation reflects your uncaring heart?
[SAID CHEERFULLY AND DESPITE THE FACT THAT ALL SCIEN HAS SHOWN HIM IS A CARING HEART. Brainwashing is rough even when you're cursed about it.]
Thank you, though! I'm happy to hear it.
[HE'S HAPPY TO HEAR EVERYTHING.]
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Does it? Or does it not show my commitment to life, to prevent our island of people from dying out before a cure is found? Will you of all tell me that some people deserve to die just because of the circumstances of their birth, or should someone try to fix it?
[ nadia was especially unlucky and wasn't even going to make it to 23. but isn't 23 also inherently unfair? scien solved it all out of boredom, yes, but hhe also didn't abandon it once he found the temporary reliver fix.
a beat, and then thoughtful ]
The initial Reliver model had defects. I was too proud to admit that for a long time, as being a Reliver halted even my ability to grow and change my mind until drastic circumstances came along.
... but both of my friends died, as a result of my negligence. I will be paying for that for the rest of my life. So I made changes to the Reliver model and forced everyone to upgrade, so emotional processing is restored so everyone can live their one, normal, human life.
However, if Relivers didn't exist, Nadia would never have been born. [ since the prousts were relivers... ] If they didn't exist, I would have died long before I could meet you in my timeline, or save her. If I didn't exist, medical technology in our island would still be in the stone age, and it would've been harder to even keep her alive to [ tilts head. ] How old is yours? 12?
Is that better, Professeur?
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I don't think the Scien Brofiise that I know has any plans on altering the model. [HIS FRIENDS AREN'T DEAD.] But it's surprising that you would consider changing it at all! And I suppose just as surprising to know that you have friends?
[HAD. IT WAS ONLY THE TWO. "BOTH OF MY FRIENDS" MEANS BOTH OF THE ONLY TWO HE HAS. Lucas just says this all with the same sort of even-keeled pleasant demeanor. He is learning so much about local demon lord Scien Brofiise today!]
Nadia is a blessing from God, but it's true that much of the technology that helped support her recovery is credited to you. It's also undeniably true that she wouldn't be here if Relivers didn't exist, even if our parents failed her terribly.
[THEY'RE ALREADY DEAD ALSO HE HAS SO MANY COMPLEX FEELINGS ABOUT THIS BUT CAN ONLY EXPRESS :)]
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