[IMMEDIATELY LIES. It's fine. He was punched and his nose is broken but he thinks he deserves much worse and he doesn't want to hear anything about anything from Scien or anybody HE DOESN'T WANT TO HEAR WORDS AT ALL!!!! Aerith might be taking his fantasy heroin which is good because there's a 95% chance he'd use it.]
[IT'S FINE!!!! Anyway he pretty much heard that Mathis was okay as soon as he woke up and Iwatooshi waddled over to let him know what was up, but it's still... a relief to hear. He's just silent for a few seconds, processing that.
Mathis is still alive, his life no longer in immediate danger despite taking a losing gamble on partnering up. He still has people with him on that side. People who can help, people who won't let him falter or lose himself, and that's a relief.]
[THIS IS THE VERY LAST THING HE WANTS TO HEAR. Dealing with Ichiban's fury and Karma's hurt betrayal had been painful, but what was more painful than that were the people like Aqua or Aerith or Iwatooshi or Nona, who had apologized or offered understanding, even though he said over and over don't apologize, don't apologize.
There's just a long stretch of silence where he feels like he might be sick.]
...I don't want one. Whatever it's for, I don't want it.
scien once again thinks that it'd be really nice if he could just hire a therapist for lucas again. this conversation might not even be fruitful at the moment, given how he seems ready to fall apart at the seams.
but it is in scien's nature to push. ]
Because you feel as though you have done nothing to deserve it? Not even from the one you think of as the ultimate demon?
[HIS THERAPIST!!!! It's okay he doesn't need one he's doing fine.
Another long silence. His head feels clearer now - clearer than it has in weeks. With that clarity comes the question: if Scien Brofiise is the progenitor of demons and the source of all evil, then what does that make him?]
I don't want to hear any more.
[Simple, an answer that still dodges the question.]
[ given how many insane lulls of silence there are in this conversation and lucas is in the middle of reconciling his feelings about himself after encountering both of his victims ]
But since you're still alive, you need to be healed from the curse.
[HOW ARE YOU GOING TO HEAL HIM FROM A HOLE. Frankly he's so filled with self-loathing right now that the notion of receiving anything good at all including a curse heal are just. THEY REPEL HIM.]
Your little sister would never forgive me if I didn't try.
[ and scien actually likes nadia. also dahut wants nadia to be happy, so this is also distantly for dahut ]
The one from your timeline also still needs you. This is the most I can do for her.
[ since she's earned god's favoritism too
scien understands that lucas is probably contemplating the bitter embrace of hades right now. but he also understands even more than that that nadia is probably the best way to get lucas to do literally anything
[TETHERING HIM TO LIFE SO CRUELLY WHEN ALL HE WANTS IS TO REPENT IN HADES... He doesn't even need to, though - not really. Living with the dawning reality of what he's done is already suffocating and will only become more excruciating as he comes to terms with the full truth of it, but in the same way that he'd done unspeakably evil things for Nadia, he would suffer any amount of agony for her.
He's still tired, though. His jaw and nose are still distantly tender, he can still picture Aerith and Aqua reaching for his hands, he can still hear How do you live with yourself, Lucas? and he just wants to sit in his crumbling room until someone needs him to act as shield or sword.]
...Then I'll return, if you'd like.
[He doesn't even have the energy to bite at God's lil god paw.]
scien is hit with the feeling of relief before he fully understands how to place the emotion. he will think on this later, when he contemplates how he failed dahut and salome before he could think to intervene—and how even this time, his record still isn't perfect. lucas still died. he's still suffering. that is something scien will take on as his failure and similarly never forgive himself for even though his guilt is not as obvious as lucas'.
but as long as lucas still takes breath somewhere, it's not over yet. even though this will be a long, difficult journey, the beginning is enough. healing has to be possible. scien won't accept less. ]
[you really said staples you to audiences staples you to audiences
Scien's over there having a moment and Lucas is just thinking about how he'd like to be unconscious for the next 48 hours. This is the hardest trial of his rehab. He's going to go drink 5 bottles of wine and pass out in the fountain zone if Aerith takes his drugs.]
[I WAS READY TO RUN IM STILL READY TO RUN. also i hope that fucking happens it'd be so funny scien just in the middle of another pc like "my dog is calling me i must go goodbye".
Anyway he doesn't like any of this but he's resigned. After a second:]
How do you intend to run medical check-ups like this?
[ yea that's his dog.... his stupid resigned dog who needs a nap ]
Everything is shifting. We were not even capable of this much contact last week. It's also part of why I'm asking you to come back later. If it's still not enough for a proper check-up, we try again the week after.
I can run what tests are available and then give you the notes to pass to Death to manage your symptoms until we find a way to send you home safely. He's also a doctor in a pinch.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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anyway, as a neat little callback to last week, of course scien has his question first and foremost: ]
Are you uninjured?
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[IMMEDIATELY LIES. It's fine. He was punched and his nose is broken but he thinks he deserves much worse and he doesn't want to hear anything about anything from Scien or anybody HE DOESN'T WANT TO HEAR WORDS AT ALL!!!! Aerith might be taking his fantasy heroin which is good because there's a 95% chance he'd use it.]
Though I wish you'd stop asking.
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I know. And I know you're probably lying, but I at least need you to not go find another place to die.
Were you about to run?
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I have nothing to say. If you have something to say, I'll listen and then take my leave.
[So yes. Yes he was. He is still about to run.]
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[ lucas you weird lil nerd ]
The Claude brat is still here. He spent the night at our place. [ the overseers' nice lil bnb ] I can't tell him that you're still alive over there...
But he's not in immediate danger of joining you.
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Mathis is still alive, his life no longer in immediate danger despite taking a losing gamble on partnering up. He still has people with him on that side. People who can help, people who won't let him falter or lose himself, and that's a relief.]
...Thank you. [For letting him know.] The second?
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One clarifying question first. Do you no longer feel a connection to your monster?
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[He's back to just having vampire teeth for no real reason instead of having them because he's possessed by a vampire.]
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[ there's the vague sound of tapping as scien takes his dumb lil notes...
but then after that finishes, he'll return his attention back to the conversation
simply: ]
I owe you an apology.
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There's just a long stretch of silence where he feels like he might be sick.]
...I don't want one. Whatever it's for, I don't want it.
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scien once again thinks that it'd be really nice if he could just hire a therapist for lucas again. this conversation might not even be fruitful at the moment, given how he seems ready to fall apart at the seams.
but it is in scien's nature to push. ]
Because you feel as though you have done nothing to deserve it? Not even from the one you think of as the ultimate demon?
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Another long silence. His head feels clearer now - clearer than it has in weeks. With that clarity comes the question: if Scien Brofiise is the progenitor of demons and the source of all evil, then what does that make him?]
I don't want to hear any more.
[Simple, an answer that still dodges the question.]
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scien sighs. he makes a note to himself to give lucas's therapist a bonus if he ever makes it back to the island. ]
... will you come back sometime this upcoming week?
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There's another pause. There are so many lulls of silence.]
Why?
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[ given how many insane lulls of silence there are in this conversation and lucas is in the middle of reconciling his feelings about himself after encountering both of his victims ]
But since you're still alive, you need to be healed from the curse.
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...And you intend to?
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[ and scien actually likes nadia. also dahut wants nadia to be happy, so this is also distantly for dahut ]
The one from your timeline also still needs you. This is the most I can do for her.
[ since she's earned god's favoritism too
scien understands that lucas is probably contemplating the bitter embrace of hades right now. but he also understands even more than that that nadia is probably the best way to get lucas to do literally anything
including live ]
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He's still tired, though. His jaw and nose are still distantly tender, he can still picture Aerith and Aqua reaching for his hands, he can still hear How do you live with yourself, Lucas? and he just wants to sit in his crumbling room until someone needs him to act as shield or sword.]
...Then I'll return, if you'd like.
[He doesn't even have the energy to bite at God's lil god paw.]
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scien is hit with the feeling of relief before he fully understands how to place the emotion. he will think on this later, when he contemplates how he failed dahut and salome before he could think to intervene—and how even this time, his record still isn't perfect. lucas still died. he's still suffering. that is something scien will take on as his failure and similarly never forgive himself for even though his guilt is not as obvious as lucas'.
but as long as lucas still takes breath somewhere, it's not over yet. even though this will be a long, difficult journey, the beginning is enough. healing has to be possible. scien won't accept less. ]
I would. I'll expect you.
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Scien's over there having a moment and Lucas is just thinking about how he'd like to be unconscious for the next 48 hours. This is the hardest trial of his rehab. He's going to go drink 5 bottles of wine and pass out in the fountain zone if Aerith takes his drugs.]
At any time?
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At least once a week, like medical check-ups. Whenever you call for me, I will answer.
[ he barely sleeps so that's not a hard bargain. he will also ditch existing audiences to talk to lucas. god's favoritism ]
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Anyway he doesn't like any of this but he's resigned. After a second:]
How do you intend to run medical check-ups like this?
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Everything is shifting. We were not even capable of this much contact last week. It's also part of why I'm asking you to come back later. If it's still not enough for a proper check-up, we try again the week after.
I can run what tests are available and then give you the notes to pass to Death to manage your symptoms until we find a way to send you home safely. He's also a doctor in a pinch.
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...Alright. [He guesses this is fine. He'll go fucking pass notes to Death and keep this stupid cursed body alive longer so he can see Nadia again.]
Is there anything else I should know?
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Do you still have the medicine I gave you for your detox symptoms?
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