audience: ashlyn

[mygod]

Comments

[mygod]

Isn't that all friendship? People you meet in school, who you would have never ran into if you went elsewhere. People you meet because you just happened to decide to pick up a hobby. You went to a store and ran into them.

Circumstance is what creates all our encounters and relationships. Parting is not an end to things, it is simply another path in life.

[killies]

I guess I'd just never had friends until recently, so I don't know what it's like when it's over.

[mygod]

It's very sad. And you'll feel alone. But it's still worth the effort.

[killies]

I don't mind being alone. I like it more.

[mygod]

Really? But do you like it always? You're never lonely?

[killies]

Lonely... isn't a word I'd use, no.

[mygod]

Then... how would you describe it?

[killies]

[ has to genuinely think about this. ]

I just get... worried when I'm apart from people. If I can't see that they're okay.

[mygod]

You want the people you care about to be safe. [ that makes sense, considering what she has going on back home. ]

[killies]

[ embarrassing. can you imagine having emotions and caring about people. ew. ]

... But once this is over, whoever makes it out is just going to be gone.

[ which is better than dead, obviously. except like in some cases it might mean dead. and then what if they die after that for new reasons??? she has separation anxiety. it's fine. ]

[mygod]

... yeah. You'll part ways, and won't see each other again. [ ... ] Would you have preferred to never met them?

[killies]

... I guess so. If that meant never coming here and going through all of this. Or them not coming here to go through all of this.

[mygod]

[ honestly? fair. ] Do you think the others would say the same?

[killies]

Why wouldn't they? Is any of this worth a fleeting friendship?

[mygod]

I actually asked someone else a similar question, and they said yes. So, it depends.

[killies]

What would your answer be?

[mygod]

... it's not a thing of saying I'd want everyone to have gone through this. But normally I wouldn't have been able to do more than half of the things I have her. Just being able to touch another person and not have to worry is more than I've ever had. So, I can't regret it all.

[killies]

Because normally you have to be afraid of catching that disease?

[mygod]

This is the most I have ever been in the actual same room as other people in my life. I can't say I wish I never got to experience that.

[killies]

Even though it comes attached with some of them dying every week?

[mygod]

[ ASHLYN SHE JUST SAID SHE WOULD PREFER NO DEATHS!!! ] Even in normal, every day life situations, the people you care about are going to leave you or die on you. That's simply how living works.

[killies]

[ BUT THAT'S NOT THE SITUATION WE'RE WORKING WITH!!!!! ]

The risk is usually lower.

[mygod]

Not always. There are plenty of people here whose home situation is also quite dangerous, where they might die at any time if they're not careful.

[killies]

... I just have a hard time imagining being glad I came here.

[mygod]

I think it's just... I don't mean being happy about being here because you got to meet others. I don't think anyone wants to be here. But you can feel that way, but also not want to trade away the relationships you made. It's not a choice between one or the other, both can be true.