[it really is something else, he'll be regretting that when he has to deal with dirt and medieval living conditions
she pulls him all the way to the very end of the boardwalk - stands, looking out into the ocean, still holding his hand. and when he asks her that, she glances at him with a little half-grin.]
Once, huh.
[she repeats. she's not exactly sure what's happening to her yet, it's still early. but she's not an idiot. she's a little scared.]
Yeah, I think so. I have to save the Gate, still. I don't know if it'll still feel like home, but I owe it that much.
I mean, I was there. Before all this. But all the things that made it home are gone. Mum, dad, Gortash, my friends. My job, my - fucking sense of wonder, I guess.
... Well, no. That's still there. Despite everything.
... that sense does find a way to linger, through everything.
[ because scien's not entirely different. he'd lost his family, friends, and drive a while ago. curiosity is the only thing that actively remains, alongside his bad attitude ]
Would you leave it to go somewhere else, once you're done saving it?
Maybe, yeah. Hadn't really thought about it. [in the future in a universe somewhere out there, she sits down at the edge of a dock just like this one and says goodbye to the sun, to the ocean. burns out for the last time.
but, now...]
She hasn't got hold on me. Zariel. The deal she made was with Gortash, not me. So she can't drag me under again.
I could go see Waterdeep, maybe, if Gale would have me.
There is always the whole universe now, if you ever care to look around.
[ scien will just look out at the ocean, and think of his own island. it's another body of water, and yet so different from what he'd seen for the past hundred years ]
I don't know where I'll head after this. Maybe I'll stop by wherever you all are.
Why wouldn't we? We already know it's possible, so it is just a matter of harnessing it for ourselves.
[ it's probably insane to just say things like this so casually. 'interdimensional travel? no problem.' but that's what scien brofiise wakes up and thinks about, instead of idk. breakfast.
anyway his answer is similarly simple as he looks up at her, raising a brow ]
[it's kind of bracing, though, to think that he's just got it under control. she'll be thinking about it a few days later, sitting on the edge of a boardwalk, digging her nails into her thigh to stop herself from doing something horrible.
he says it so casually, like it's easy, and she believes him! she believes him.
a little smile at him, when he looks up.]
Okay. [...] I don't want to, then. I like having you around.
I think I will be too? I think I've got the capacity to be fine anywhere, but I think I want to be more than just fine. [she looks back over the ocean again.]
If I can see all of you again, I think I can manage that. All the people I've grown to love here, including you.
[ he understands it in theory. he knows people who are pitifully in love with each other. but to apply it so broadly, to say that it's something that can be felt in such a short time... it escapes his understanding ]
I don't know. Warm. Good. It feels... like trusting that someone is going to be there. For you, with you. It's like when you get someone who never laughs to giggle at a joke you made, or when they bring you food you mentioned you liked ages ago. It's big. Like - here.
[she puts a hand on her chest. over the engine.]
It feels like when you take a deep breath and have all that air in your lungs, that one second where it feels really good and present? It's that, but as a feeling. It's part of being alive, for me.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ plain and simple
scien's favoritism really is something else ]
Will you be going back once you survive all this cult nonsense?
[ once. not if. even if she might be a monster. "how is that gonna work, scien" listen it'll be fine trust ]
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she pulls him all the way to the very end of the boardwalk - stands, looking out into the ocean, still holding his hand. and when he asks her that, she glances at him with a little half-grin.]
Once, huh.
[she repeats. she's not exactly sure what's happening to her yet, it's still early. but she's not an idiot. she's a little scared.]
Yeah, I think so. I have to save the Gate, still. I don't know if it'll still feel like home, but I owe it that much.
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anyway he'll confirm with all his terrible confidence: ] Once.
[ he tilts his head at her explanation, curious. ]
I suppose if you believe that's what you're bound to, it makes sense to see things through.
Why would it no longer feel like home?
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[she looks back out at the ocean.]
I mean, I was there. Before all this. But all the things that made it home are gone. Mum, dad, Gortash, my friends. My job, my - fucking sense of wonder, I guess.
... Well, no. That's still there. Despite everything.
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[ because scien's not entirely different. he'd lost his family, friends, and drive a while ago. curiosity is the only thing that actively remains, alongside his bad attitude ]
Would you leave it to go somewhere else, once you're done saving it?
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the question gets her to tilt her head back.]
Maybe, yeah. Hadn't really thought about it. [in the future in a universe somewhere out there, she sits down at the edge of a dock just like this one and says goodbye to the sun, to the ocean. burns out for the last time.
but, now...]
She hasn't got hold on me. Zariel. The deal she made was with Gortash, not me. So she can't drag me under again.
I could go see Waterdeep, maybe, if Gale would have me.
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at that last comment he looks at her like she's a fucking idiot (affectionate) ]
What do you mean 'if he would have you'. In what universe would he ever turn you away.
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he's right she is a fucking idiot (affectionate)]
I don't know! Maybe he's got Astarion over or something.
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[ waterdeep is a studio apartment ]
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No...
[she supposes she can't argue this]
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[ is it.... love? ]
Or you can find your own person to be sweet on and get distracted.
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Yeah, maybe. [...] Anyway. That'd be what I'd want. To go see the world.
The Gate isn't going anywhere. It'll always be there. I can make it home again if I try.
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[ scien will just look out at the ocean, and think of his own island. it's another body of water, and yet so different from what he'd seen for the past hundred years ]
I don't know where I'll head after this. Maybe I'll stop by wherever you all are.
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[...]
I'd like that, though. If you wanted to come visit, I'd show you around. [a beat.] I don't really want to lose contact with you, you know?
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[ it's probably insane to just say things like this so casually. 'interdimensional travel? no problem.' but that's what scien brofiise wakes up and thinks about, instead of idk. breakfast.
anyway his answer is similarly simple as he looks up at her, raising a brow ]
If you don't want to lose me, then you won't.
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he says it so casually, like it's easy, and she believes him! she believes him.
a little smile at him, when he looks up.]
Okay. [...] I don't want to, then. I like having you around.
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Then I won't ever truly be far.
[ he says it SO easily because obviously? ]
Though I do have faith that you will be fine, with or without me.
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I think I will be too? I think I've got the capacity to be fine anywhere, but I think I want to be more than just fine. [she looks back over the ocean again.]
If I can see all of you again, I think I can manage that. All the people I've grown to love here, including you.
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It's been a month and you're using the world 'love'?
[ asks a guy from virche, known canon where people are just so normal about love ]
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Sure. Why not? It's how I feel, why would I hide that?
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he tilts his head then, mildly curious. ]
What does it feel like?
Love, as you know it.
[ he understands it in theory. he knows people who are pitifully in love with each other. but to apply it so broadly, to say that it's something that can be felt in such a short time... it escapes his understanding ]
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[she says, head tilting back a little.]
I don't know. Warm. Good. It feels... like trusting that someone is going to be there. For you, with you. It's like when you get someone who never laughs to giggle at a joke you made, or when they bring you food you mentioned you liked ages ago. It's big. Like - here.
[she puts a hand on her chest. over the engine.]
It feels like when you take a deep breath and have all that air in your lungs, that one second where it feels really good and present? It's that, but as a feeling. It's part of being alive, for me.
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[ ok particular ]
(no subject)