but that was a lot. it comes suddenly and even famine is surprised by it, their shoulders jolting with the force of the memory. the pain that comes. they don't crumple to their knees, they don't show any type of pain or wince, but they do freeze. it takes time for them to come back to themselves. to regain their footing.
and the first thing they do is look to her, gauging her reaction.
hardly enviable, to have the worst moment of your life hit you in instant replay. ]
she isn't doing great, but the thing about karlach is she's actually not so bad at compartmentalizing when she needs to. this is not the sort of place that she can lose her shit, so she doesn't. she's a soldier. she knows when to focus very hard on not breaking down.
still. she's uncharacteristically quiet and still, dragging in unsteady breaths.
[ their gaze follows her hand, but their response is mild ]
I did.
But don't be apologetic. I've operated on my own heart while I was awake. I did have some anesthesia, but your experience was only moderately worse than what I am accustomed to.
If there is anyone who can withstand such a thing, it is me.
[ also because we absolutely love surgeries in this cr
(the link is just a very fanservicey image for freaks you have been warned)
Headgear on. Extracting current memories from the frontal lobe. Initiating backup system. Success.
Initiating clone body culturing using existing somatic cells. Constructing heart for memory installation. Defense system attached to heart. Initiating installation of backup data to brain. Success.
Difference from original confirmed at 0%. Initiating clone sequence.
Reborn, you take your first breaths. Your fingers flex, feeling the recreated muscle at work. The chemical fluid drips off of your skin, slick to the touch. Your eyes carry with them a faint glow in the pupil, reflected against the dim and dark laboratory light. Your gaze falls upon... well, you.
Your old self.
“I see... Then this version of ‘me’ is obsolete.” Just another hunk of flesh. “Then again, I should confirm just in case. I can discard you, right, Scien Brofiise?”
Your old self, now fast approaching the minutes to your 23rd birthday—a death knell for so many people—is emaciated. The last of your strength went to completing this experiment, even after you modified your own body over and over again to defy the way that age saps everyone’s strength on this wretched island. Your old husk lay on the ground and where one might expect a healthy 23-year-old, the one laying there has all its scars for the world to see. Rows and rows of stitches, bruising, like a doll that was taken apart and put back together again and again.
It fulfilled its use. (You fulfilled your use.)
With a tired croak, your former self responds almost lazily: “Yeah, suit yourself. I want to get rid of this deteriorating body, too.”
Very well, then.
You find a scalpel nearby. You slit your own throat.
You sigh deeply as your former self takes its final breath.
With your old body’s consent, you kill it after your experiment, wiping away the blood that splattered in the process. In a matter of seconds, you scanned through all the information transferred to your new body.
“Personality, knowledge, memories, physical condition. No difference from the original.”
You are Scien Brofiise without a doubt. The coding in your artificial brain confirmed that you aren’t a fake, but the original.
That said... you notice something off. Your heartbeat sounds irregular. Or rather, your artificially created heart was beating with a different rhythm than what was listed in your specifications.
“Seems I can’t transfer any additional emotions as part of my memory. I would have preferred to do away with all emotions, but that would just turn me into a flesh puppet...”
Well, the results were still successful. You aren’t too interested in emotions since you weren’t an emotional person to begin with. Most importantly, it was a profound success.
“Still alive at twenty-three years and one second.”
You had gone past twenty-three years of age. It was proof that it was possible to escape the foolish curse of death.
“Well, this is anticlimactic...”
The people lamented for so long that they must someday succumb to the curse. Out of boredom, you decided to take over my grandfather’s and father’s research, but... It wasn’t difficult at all. You were able to complete their research and put it into practical application within a few months. You couldn’t imagine them devoting their whole lives to figuring out something so simple.
To think that even your own bloodline was so pitiful.
“Salvation, my ass. It’s just a way of extending life, that’s all.”
Indeed.
You had merely survived your own experiment.
You reach your own conclusion, thinking to yourself: ‘This isn’t the true answer to restoring life to the human body. This is just a means of escape from death. I haven’t won at all because of this.’
This was boring, and... you need more. Your newly created brain was telling you that you could attain greater heights. Which was why...
“Absolutely stupid... There is no such thing as the curse of death. No god rules this world, and only human wisdom prevails, which can explain reason behind the unreasonable.”
So in order to prove that...
“I will get rid of my useless emotions, and face this so-called ‘curse’.”
This boring extension of your life was simply to buy more time to conduct your research. That said, when you finally uncover the truth... What “emotion” would arise in you?
famine pauses a moment, seems to be thinking about their options, and then shrugs. they take off the mask revealing this fucking asshole, piercings and glowing blue eyes and all ]
[dana she thinks astarion is attractive there's no way she isn't going to take a second to be like aayyyy]
H -- hah, fuck! Listen, I've had weirder. You try bonding with someone after having a worm put in your brain on a fleshy ass ship and get back to me. [ok] Wait, you're not going to get in trouble with the mask off, yeah?
I'm not going to walk around with it off in front of everyone. They don't need to know that much about me. On the other hand, I am unused to hiding myself so I'd rather not wear it.
[ when you simultaneously don't want to be bothered but also are a shameless person who hates being secretive ]
[ it's fine it's fine it's only the freaky pupils that would give it away right now because nu designed the icons to extremely high collars on purpose bc some people (this people) have a throat tattoo ]
Is there something that would trigger the transformation? Or is it a matter of time? [ a beat. ] Again.
Kind of both. I've got... not a friend, ally, who makes it so that I don't turn. Usually it's like a few days. Three, maybe. Then you explode into a Mind Flayer.
... Can I ask what was going on with you? Some of you have got technology I can't even believe. Like a whole new body, that's - near impossible where I'm from.
You already partially know of it, given the two you've chosen to looking after here. [ her dumb lil twinks ] An invention created for the sole purpose of circumventing a curse, and living past the age of 23.
[ looks thoughtful for a moment ]
Though, the memory you saw must've been nearly 70 years ago now.
I do, but we're from different timelines... I'm at least three years ahead, given that they're still running around talking about curses. They're so annoying.
[ please be nice i'm begging
but this is when he'll hook a finger against the high collar and tug it down, revealing the intricate, floral tattoo on his neck ]
The mark of a Reliver. Which I invented. Though this model has been upgraded to properly resemble a human, at this point.
Yes. And I've worked through all of the issues from before. I do have my full scale of emotions available to me, and will be able to age properly so it's not an 'eternal youth' situation. Reliver models can now be virtually undetectable from average people.
[ and he looks her over again, obviously. he's not sure if this is where her train of thought is going, but he doesn't mind saying it straightforwardly ]
I would save you, if you asked.
[ if she finds herself without other options, but doesn't want to die ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ don't read this in a tsun way ]
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You are not. [she agrees.] Which is why I was trying to think of something, but.
[anyway i never know when it's a good time to memshare so throws this at you, cw for gore and non-consensual surgery i am Sorry]
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anyway. but.
but that was a lot. it comes suddenly and even famine is surprised by it, their shoulders jolting with the force of the memory. the pain that comes. they don't crumple to their knees, they don't show any type of pain or wince, but they do freeze. it takes time for them to come back to themselves. to regain their footing.
and the first thing they do is look to her, gauging her reaction.
hardly enviable, to have the worst moment of your life hit you in instant replay. ]
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she isn't doing great, but the thing about karlach is she's actually not so bad at compartmentalizing when she needs to. this is not the sort of place that she can lose her shit, so she doesn't. she's a soldier. she knows when to focus very hard on not breaking down.
still. she's uncharacteristically quiet and still, dragging in unsteady breaths.
and after a moment, she just exhales a shaky:]
Fuck.
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[ karlach is allowed far more than just one curse. famine steps forward, looking up to examine her expression. ]
... you are here, not there.
You will never be there again.
[ to repeat her own words back to her ]
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another shaky breath, and she opens her eyes to look at them.]
Yeah. [...] Yeah, never... never again. Die before that.
[she brings a hand up to cover her glowing heart.]
Tell me you didn't feel all of that, too.
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I did.
But don't be apologetic. I've operated on my own heart while I was awake. I did have some anesthesia, but your experience was only moderately worse than what I am accustomed to.
If there is anyone who can withstand such a thing, it is me.
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she just kind of stares at them for a second. at least it's distracting.]
Wow. You know, if I hadn't been talking to you for weeks now I'd think you were bullshitting me, but I believe it.
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[ also because we absolutely love surgeries in this cr
(the link is just a very fanservicey image for freaks you have been warned)
Headgear on. Extracting current memories from the frontal lobe. Initiating backup system. Success.
Initiating clone body culturing using existing somatic cells. Constructing heart for memory installation. Defense system attached to heart. Initiating installation of backup data to brain. Success.
Difference from original confirmed at 0%. Initiating clone sequence.
You come to life.
Reborn, you take your first breaths. Your fingers flex, feeling the recreated muscle at work. The chemical fluid drips off of your skin, slick to the touch. Your eyes carry with them a faint glow in the pupil, reflected against the dim and dark laboratory light. Your gaze falls upon... well, you.
Your old self.
“I see... Then this version of ‘me’ is obsolete.” Just another hunk of flesh. “Then again, I should confirm just in case. I can discard you, right, Scien Brofiise?”
Your old self, now fast approaching the minutes to your 23rd birthday—a death knell for so many people—is emaciated. The last of your strength went to completing this experiment, even after you modified your own body over and over again to defy the way that age saps everyone’s strength on this wretched island. Your old husk lay on the ground and where one might expect a healthy 23-year-old, the one laying there has all its scars for the world to see. Rows and rows of stitches, bruising, like a doll that was taken apart and put back together again and again.
It fulfilled its use. (You fulfilled your use.)
With a tired croak, your former self responds almost lazily: “Yeah, suit yourself. I want to get rid of this deteriorating body, too.”
Very well, then.
You find a scalpel nearby. You slit your own throat.
You sigh deeply as your former self takes its final breath.
With your old body’s consent, you kill it after your experiment, wiping away the blood that splattered in the process. In a matter of seconds, you scanned through all the information transferred to your new body.
“Personality, knowledge, memories, physical condition. No difference from the original.”
You are Scien Brofiise without a doubt. The coding in your artificial brain confirmed that you aren’t a fake, but the original.
That said... you notice something off. Your heartbeat sounds irregular. Or rather, your artificially created heart was beating with a different rhythm than what was listed in your specifications.
“Seems I can’t transfer any additional emotions as part of my memory. I would have preferred to do away with all emotions, but that would just turn me into a flesh puppet...”
Well, the results were still successful. You aren’t too interested in emotions since you weren’t an emotional person to begin with. Most importantly, it was a profound success.
“Still alive at twenty-three years and one second.”
You had gone past twenty-three years of age. It was proof that it was possible to escape the foolish curse of death.
“Well, this is anticlimactic...”
The people lamented for so long that they must someday succumb to the curse. Out of boredom, you decided to take over my grandfather’s and father’s research, but... It wasn’t difficult at all. You were able to complete their research and put it into practical application within a few months. You couldn’t imagine them devoting their whole lives to figuring out something so simple.
To think that even your own bloodline was so pitiful.
“Salvation, my ass. It’s just a way of extending life, that’s all.”
Indeed.
You had merely survived your own experiment.
You reach your own conclusion, thinking to yourself: ‘This isn’t the true answer to restoring life to the human body. This is just a means of escape from death. I haven’t won at all because of this.’
This was boring, and... you need more. Your newly created brain was telling you that you could attain greater heights. Which was why...
“Absolutely stupid... There is no such thing as the curse of death. No god rules this world, and only human wisdom prevails, which can explain reason behind the unreasonable.”
So in order to prove that...
“I will get rid of my useless emotions, and face this so-called ‘curse’.”
This boring extension of your life was simply to buy more time to conduct your research. That said, when you finally uncover the truth... What “emotion” would arise in you?
Would there be anything left at all? ]
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silence, for a couple of moments, as she digests this one.]
... Whaaaaaaat.
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famine pauses a moment, seems to be thinking about their options, and then shrugs. they take off the mask revealing this fucking asshole, piercings and glowing blue eyes and all ]
Well, that's useless now.
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-- Whoa.
[i'm sorry unfortunately she thinks he's hot.]
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but also ]
Strange reaction after we both experienced each other's surgeries and unmaking and remaking of ourselves.
[ now that's some freak shit ]
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H -- hah, fuck! Listen, I've had weirder. You try bonding with someone after having a worm put in your brain on a fleshy ass ship and get back to me. [ok] Wait, you're not going to get in trouble with the mask off, yeah?
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I'm not going to walk around with it off in front of everyone. They don't need to know that much about me. On the other hand, I am unused to hiding myself so I'd rather not wear it.
[ when you simultaneously don't want to be bothered but also are a shameless person who hates being secretive ]
Anyway. Worms?
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[this is a joke, she doesn't actually care.]
Got a parasite in my head that'll turn me into a tentacle freak if I'm not careful. Like I don't have enough fucking problems.
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To be greedy is a compliment. There is nothing wrong with desire, as long as you actually have what it takes to get what you want.
[ ok arrogance ]
And I take it you don't want to be a tentacle freak.
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[you know she knows about relivers and i don't even think it's occurred to her that she's talking to one. please karlach use your braincell.]
They're also soulless, and don't care about anything other than getting ahead.
[...]
I like me. I like being me.
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Is there something that would trigger the transformation? Or is it a matter of time? [ a beat. ] Again.
[ like her heart... ]
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Kind of both. I've got... not a friend, ally, who makes it so that I don't turn. Usually it's like a few days. Three, maybe. Then you explode into a Mind Flayer.
... Can I ask what was going on with you? Some of you have got technology I can't even believe. Like a whole new body, that's - near impossible where I'm from.
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[ again okay arrogance ]
You already partially know of it, given the two you've chosen to looking after here. [ her dumb lil twinks ] An invention created for the sole purpose of circumventing a curse, and living past the age of 23.
[ looks thoughtful for a moment ]
Though, the memory you saw must've been nearly 70 years ago now.
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-- Wait, like teach and daisychain? [use their names] Do you know them?
[double wait]
70 years. [she opens her mouth - and then closes it.]
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[ please be nice i'm begging
but this is when he'll hook a finger against the high collar and tug it down, revealing the intricate, floral tattoo on his neck ]
The mark of a Reliver. Which I invented. Though this model has been upgraded to properly resemble a human, at this point.
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[cheerfully.
she does take a closer look at the tattoo, though.]
Can you... is it a whole new body that you get put into? That's what I saw, right?
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as for the question: ]
Yes. And I've worked through all of the issues from before. I do have my full scale of emotions available to me, and will be able to age properly so it's not an 'eternal youth' situation. Reliver models can now be virtually undetectable from average people.
[ and he looks her over again, obviously. he's not sure if this is where her train of thought is going, but he doesn't mind saying it straightforwardly ]
I would save you, if you asked.
[ if she finds herself without other options, but doesn't want to die ]
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