[ to be very straightforward about it. she deserves to know, after everything that she just shared with him. ]
For Relivers, hearts also serve as a memory bank. You would upload your memories at a time before you have died, and all those memories will then be transferred to your new body after your death. [ he glances at her horns ] I would want to run a test before then, to ensure that your physiology can be replicated exactly. It would not hurt you. However as I've only known humans, I must ensure your safety before you place your life in my hands.
That said, it should not be difficult. It would be based on your genetic code... So you would be without your scars. Without the engine, or anything else done to you in the Hells.
[ would that be a blessing? or odd, to have a mind that carries all these burdens that your body no longer reflects? scien isn't sure. ]
Do not feel pressured to give an answer. I am not going anywhere.
[that, to her, is scary. she's from a place where they still heal people with leeches sometimes, so uploading and downloading and all of that, it's... overwhelming. there's also a part of her that itches at the idea of tests being run, a vague sense of unease, of being thrown right back down into that forge.
what would it be like, to be without all the scars from the past ten years? weird, she thinks. not... unwelcome. but weird.
but - she does think he's being sincere. so.]
... Yeah. Yeah, I'll think about it. It's... there, as an option. Little scary, but the unknown always is.
It is unnatural, and if I could find a way to save you without putting you into a new body—a method that you would prefer, I would. However, I cannot promise that it would be painless. It would be riskier.
[ scien, in his current iteration, spends what free time he has solving illnesses and diseases. an engine for a heart is foreign—sort of. it is another piece of machinery, and so not entirely at odds with what he knows.
but it is trickier, and it is karlach's body. her life. for all that he can treat it as a medical case, he will not interfere unless asked. ]
But I developed this technology for the sake of extending life for those who were not given enough time, due to no fault of their own, and who medicine struggles to save.
I believe your case counts. If you ever choose to ask for help, I will not deny you.
[the first bit - save you without putting you into a new body - makes her smile a little, at least.
it makes her feel a bit uneasy, to think about, but he's giving her a choice, and he's giving her options. and even if she decides she doesn't want it, the fact that he is offering means the world to her.]
You ought to be careful, or I'm going to start calling you nice.
[ but he shakes his head. and there is something about this exchange that... disrupts his acceptance of it. there is an important piece of the equation that he doesn't want to hide away from. he doesn't want to be misunderstood, even after she's come this far in trying.
even if it means that she will hate him for it after ]
It is not a medical advancement that came without sacrifice. I have made choices that can easily be considered evil—similarly experimenting on others without their consent and myself in order to develop it.
But because I cannot let those sacrifices be in vain, I will offer. Because I would rather you live, I will offer.
[well - she doesn't hate him, it's not an on-off switch. there is something in her that feels a little horrendous at the idea of him having done experiments on people who didn't want it. that's a little too close, and it's a little too raw. it does, in fact, make her a little more wary of accepting the offer, but that's likely something he expects.
(it's so funny - it's just enver gortash all over again, it has all the warning signs, and she ignores them, because she couldn't possibly fall for that twice.)
but anyway. no sacrifices in vain. that's something. she rubs at her face.]
You don't have to be a good person. There's more to good than being nice, and there's more to evil than being mean.
he's been alive nearly a century. he doesn't intentionally hide what he's done for the sake of developing life-saving technology, but he also doesn't expect most people to know. when they discover it, or when he forcibly brings it to attention to ward off people who might be getting too close—he expects the derision. and for karlach, who experienced something so vile against her will, he does think it's important for her to know.
(he doesn't bring up that he's only ever experimented on the worst criminals imaginable, that he leaves innocents out of the question. he's not the type to make excuses for himself.)
in their previous conversations, he'd already commented on her kindness and acceptance of others. for the first time, he is understanding even vaguely what it means for himself. for her to not throw a punch when he halfway expected one. ]
... you needn't force yourself.
[ though the words come more uncertain this time. he's not sure what to do with this reaction, or any reaction short of disgusted yelling and insults coming his way ]
I meant what I said. I don't want you to die. [ a beat ] But everything about that should be on your terms.
[the way if he had said he experimented on criminals she would have probably been way more fine with it,
she shrugs a little, her tail swishing back and forth.]
Fam, I've done shit I'm not proud of. I'm probably decent, morals-wise, but it's not like I haven't killed innocent people. I'm not naive enough to think everything is sunshine and rainbows, people are - complex. Things are complex. And what I've seen of you is more than just some shitty cackling villain, so. I'm not forcing anything.
[a beat.]
You keep saying that, and I think it's - funny, in a way. You don't want me to die.
[ yea! he leaves out the important bits because he already thinks he's evil very funny scien behavior maybe it'll come up later
but he has no place to argue with her, so he won't. people are complicated and medical advancements are built upon sacrifice. trial and error. it's what she says last that makes his brow furrow. ]
[ it'd be nice if scien could phrase this gently or kindly, but instead: ]
Because you don't make sense. You have all the reason in the world to despise and distrust people, but you don't. I do not buy into the same level of idealism that you do—but I also know you are not without your sharp edges. [ they were just talking about celebrating a bastard's death the other day. that was fun ]
Your stature is imposing, but you have the personality of a dog that doesn't realize it's too big to sit in your lap. [ OKAY? ] It's very entertaining, how you defy expectations. It is why I hope you do not die anytime soon.
[ she's surprising. even moreso today, but he's not sure how to unpack that yet so he won't. he pauses, and then perhaps a bit more thoughtfully: ]
You do not know how to let yourself be taken care of. [ he remembers. and he decides, with every arrogant bone in his body: ] But since you have earned my attention, I will look after you.
[NOOOOOOO okay listen he's a snot about it but i cannot emphasize to you how little this matters to karlach. to her, this is very sweet - she likes to think she's getting used to famine speak.
also Your stature is imposing, but you have the personality of a dog that doesn't realize it's too big to sit in your lap is my favorite description of karlach thank you]
... Hah. [she says finally, with a little smile. her tail sways back and forth behind her.]
No, I think I was right. You are absolute shit at being nice, but being kind is not out of your skillset.
[great dane with the personality of a jack russel terrier
she watches him as he sorts through that, still smiling - it's kind of turning into a grin against her will.]
I believe it. I believe you. [she's not the type to insist about being good and just, because honestly, she isn't good and just. sometimes the right thing to do isn't the best thing to do. but she believes in loyalty and sticking with someone until the end, so.]
I'd like to think I'm getting a little better at letting people help, you know.
I will never give you a reason not to believe me. [ given that he just throws all his bad shit out in the open to be judged. there is no hiding with this man. but also, he nods ] If you are growing, that is good.
[ very plainly ]
I don't have to give you a lecture on the benefits of therapy the way that I did your white-haired friend.
I don't care if he doesn't know what it is. He needs it. Badly.
Though given where I understand he started from, maybe he already got in the form of murder. [ a beat ] That is not real therapy, but sometimes it helps.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[ to be very straightforward about it. she deserves to know, after everything that she just shared with him. ]
For Relivers, hearts also serve as a memory bank. You would upload your memories at a time before you have died, and all those memories will then be transferred to your new body after your death. [ he glances at her horns ] I would want to run a test before then, to ensure that your physiology can be replicated exactly. It would not hurt you. However as I've only known humans, I must ensure your safety before you place your life in my hands.
That said, it should not be difficult. It would be based on your genetic code... So you would be without your scars. Without the engine, or anything else done to you in the Hells.
[ would that be a blessing? or odd, to have a mind that carries all these burdens that your body no longer reflects? scien isn't sure. ]
Do not feel pressured to give an answer. I am not going anywhere.
no subject
what would it be like, to be without all the scars from the past ten years? weird, she thinks. not... unwelcome. but weird.
but - she does think he's being sincere. so.]
... Yeah. Yeah, I'll think about it. It's... there, as an option. Little scary, but the unknown always is.
no subject
[ scien, in his current iteration, spends what free time he has solving illnesses and diseases. an engine for a heart is foreign—sort of. it is another piece of machinery, and so not entirely at odds with what he knows.
but it is trickier, and it is karlach's body. her life. for all that he can treat it as a medical case, he will not interfere unless asked. ]
But I developed this technology for the sake of extending life for those who were not given enough time, due to no fault of their own, and who medicine struggles to save.
I believe your case counts. If you ever choose to ask for help, I will not deny you.
no subject
it makes her feel a bit uneasy, to think about, but he's giving her a choice, and he's giving her options. and even if she decides she doesn't want it, the fact that he is offering means the world to her.]
You ought to be careful, or I'm going to start calling you nice.
[she jokes, gently.]
It means a lot to me that you're offering.
[1/2]
[ JUST CLARIFYING THAT!!! HE'S AN ASSHOLE!!! HE ENJOYS BEING ONE ]
no subject
even if it means that she will hate him for it after ]
It is not a medical advancement that came without sacrifice. I have made choices that can easily be considered evil—similarly experimenting on others without their consent and myself in order to develop it.
But because I cannot let those sacrifices be in vain, I will offer. Because I would rather you live, I will offer.
[ he frowns in thought. more seriously: ]
I do not want to be mistaken for a good person.
no subject
(it's so funny - it's just enver gortash all over again, it has all the warning signs, and she ignores them, because she couldn't possibly fall for that twice.)
but anyway. no sacrifices in vain. that's something. she rubs at her face.]
You don't have to be a good person. There's more to good than being nice, and there's more to evil than being mean.
no subject
he's been alive nearly a century. he doesn't intentionally hide what he's done for the sake of developing life-saving technology, but he also doesn't expect most people to know. when they discover it, or when he forcibly brings it to attention to ward off people who might be getting too close—he expects the derision. and for karlach, who experienced something so vile against her will, he does think it's important for her to know.
(he doesn't bring up that he's only ever experimented on the worst criminals imaginable, that he leaves innocents out of the question. he's not the type to make excuses for himself.)
in their previous conversations, he'd already commented on her kindness and acceptance of others. for the first time, he is understanding even vaguely what it means for himself. for her to not throw a punch when he halfway expected one. ]
... you needn't force yourself.
[ though the words come more uncertain this time. he's not sure what to do with this reaction, or any reaction short of disgusted yelling and insults coming his way ]
I meant what I said. I don't want you to die. [ a beat ] But everything about that should be on your terms.
no subject
she shrugs a little, her tail swishing back and forth.]
Fam, I've done shit I'm not proud of. I'm probably decent, morals-wise, but it's not like I haven't killed innocent people. I'm not naive enough to think everything is sunshine and rainbows, people are - complex. Things are complex. And what I've seen of you is more than just some shitty cackling villain, so. I'm not forcing anything.
[a beat.]
You keep saying that, and I think it's - funny, in a way. You don't want me to die.
no subject
but he has no place to argue with her, so he won't. people are complicated and medical advancements are built upon sacrifice. trial and error. it's what she says last that makes his brow furrow. ]
What about it is funny....
no subject
Because bad people don't offer to save lives, really, but -- I don't know, is it me specifically? Or would you offer that to everybody?
no subject
[ with the implication being that he would help out if there was a shortage of medical professionals
but also, simply: ]
It is also you, specifically.
no subject
Can I ask why?
[she sounds curious, tail swishing behind her.]
no subject
Because you don't make sense. You have all the reason in the world to despise and distrust people, but you don't. I do not buy into the same level of idealism that you do—but I also know you are not without your sharp edges. [ they were just talking about celebrating a bastard's death the other day. that was fun ]
Your stature is imposing, but you have the personality of a dog that doesn't realize it's too big to sit in your lap. [ OKAY? ] It's very entertaining, how you defy expectations. It is why I hope you do not die anytime soon.
[ she's surprising. even moreso today, but he's not sure how to unpack that yet so he won't. he pauses, and then perhaps a bit more thoughtfully: ]
You do not know how to let yourself be taken care of. [ he remembers. and he decides, with every arrogant bone in his body: ] But since you have earned my attention, I will look after you.
no subject
also Your stature is imposing, but you have the personality of a dog that doesn't realize it's too big to sit in your lap is my favorite description of karlach thank you]
... Hah. [she says finally, with a little smile. her tail sways back and forth behind her.]
No, I think I was right. You are absolute shit at being nice, but being kind is not out of your skillset.
Thanks. I feel better with you looking after me.
no subject
he runs a hand through his hair, and though his mouth finds the shape of a frown, he's not necessarily displeased ]
I still don't really care about either of those things...
[ being kind or nice is whatever! he just does whatever he wants! including bizarre acts of favoritism just because he thinks someone is worth it ]
But I will not fail you. That is all I care to uphold.
no subject
she watches him as he sorts through that, still smiling - it's kind of turning into a grin against her will.]
I believe it. I believe you. [she's not the type to insist about being good and just, because honestly, she isn't good and just. sometimes the right thing to do isn't the best thing to do. but she believes in loyalty and sticking with someone until the end, so.]
I'd like to think I'm getting a little better at letting people help, you know.
no subject
I will never give you a reason not to believe me. [ given that he just throws all his bad shit out in the open to be judged. there is no hiding with this man. but also, he nods ] If you are growing, that is good.
[ very plainly ]
I don't have to give you a lecture on the benefits of therapy the way that I did your white-haired friend.
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You know, he complained about that! Haven't got the faintest idea what therapy is but he was very disgruntled.
no subject
Though given where I understand he started from, maybe he already got in the form of murder. [ a beat ] That is not real therapy, but sometimes it helps.
[ NO ]