If I fucking blow up before I even leave this place - and I don't even know if I will, you lot made noise about slowing down the rate people die, not stopping it entirely - they'll blow up too. It won't matter that I've got an organic body. I haven't got one here.
[They touch their jaw in thought, one of the few exposed strips of skin.]
Some wishes would be granted in the moment, I believe. Not something that waits for your return home. The other thing to consider is whether there is something your partner would be willing to die for. If I were in the position of making a wish, I would risk my life for it.
However, know that I am only giving you things to consider. What you ultimately chose to do makes no difference to me.
[They observe her, an air of reserved calm. Not quite cold, but difficult to rouse.]
Absolutely nothing close to what you're wishing for. It's strange, actually. What you saw earlier was a regret, not a fear. [They've already lived through being bought. They say this casually.] Yet you came out of it very different. I wonder how our fates could diverge so much.
[question does their cane look like anything. just asking for a friend. the friend is me.]
I've run into that here a few times already. People telling me that. [it's almost funny.] There's loads of things. Type of person I am, the way my parents raised me, all that.
A bit. Not that much. I'm still big, and I probably ought to trust less. That's what Astarion says, anyway. [not that she listens to him.] Like to think I'm still the same person I ever was.
[no because his opinions are terrible (affectionate)]
Hah, what a loaded question that is. [she looks at them for a moment.] Yeah. I trust you enough. You're the only thing standing between us and total party wipe, yeah? So.
[There is a very still pause, though the tone of their voice stays in its narrow range of apparently disaffected stoicism.]
I thought you might realize that I haven't had a kind word for you this entire conversation. Sorry, to be clear, I don't care about you. I don't want your trust, however practical.
My intentions are to dismantle this cult, and stopping this ritual is only part of that. A means to a larger end. You should think of me the same way.
If I had a gold piece for every time I heard that one. Look, I don't believe the posturing, soldier, but even if it is true, it doesn't matter. You're sticking your neck out for us, so I'll look after you, too.
Really? [she guesses she is not that surprised.] You're all a bunch of stubborn fucks in masks, but under that, you're people. You deserve that just as much as anybody else here.
[shrug.]
I want to care. It's all I've got anymore. Other than my muscles.
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Even if you were to wish your body back to its... organic state? You still believe you'll die?
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Some wishes would be granted in the moment, I believe. Not something that waits for your return home. The other thing to consider is whether there is something your partner would be willing to die for. If I were in the position of making a wish, I would risk my life for it.
However, know that I am only giving you things to consider. What you ultimately chose to do makes no difference to me.
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it takes her a minute. she so desperately doesn't want to die. but.]
... What would you wish for?
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Absolutely nothing close to what you're wishing for. It's strange, actually. What you saw earlier was a regret, not a fear. [They've already lived through being bought. They say this casually.] Yet you came out of it very different. I wonder how our fates could diverge so much.
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I've run into that here a few times already. People telling me that. [it's almost funny.] There's loads of things. Type of person I am, the way my parents raised me, all that.
Plus, I've had ten years to deal with it.
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I suppose it could be as simple as who we are as people.
[They sound a little resigned at that.]
So? What were you like, ten years ago?
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Could be more than that, too. I've only known you five minutes, Death, you'll have to give me a bit before I can make sweeping generalizations.
[amused, despite herself.]
I was a fucking punk, ten years ago. Too big for my britches, too trusting, all in one.
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I've known myself quite long enough to generalize, don't worry.
And you're different now?
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A bit. Not that much. I'm still big, and I probably ought to trust less. That's what Astarion says, anyway. [not that she listens to him.] Like to think I'm still the same person I ever was.
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Well, let's test that. Do you trust us?
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Hah, what a loaded question that is. [she looks at them for a moment.] Yeah. I trust you enough. You're the only thing standing between us and total party wipe, yeah? So.
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Presumably, yes, we are working to avoid the worst outcome. But it does feel stupid to hear you say so. You don't know anything about my intentions.
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[nice try]
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I just called you stupid and you want to hear why I'm here.
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I thought you might realize that I haven't had a kind word for you this entire conversation. Sorry, to be clear, I don't care about you. I don't want your trust, however practical.
My intentions are to dismantle this cult, and stopping this ritual is only part of that. A means to a larger end. You should think of me the same way.
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Hah. No.
[OKAY]
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No, they are calm. They're chill about this.]
You are very annoying.
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If I had a gold piece for every time I heard that one. Look, I don't believe the posturing, soldier, but even if it is true, it doesn't matter. You're sticking your neck out for us, so I'll look after you, too.
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They click their tongue before they slip into sounding tired again.]
I've had people insist on good faith, but you're the first to go so far as to say you'd watch our backs.
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Really? [she guesses she is not that surprised.] You're all a bunch of stubborn fucks in masks, but under that, you're people. You deserve that just as much as anybody else here.
[shrug.]
I want to care. It's all I've got anymore. Other than my muscles.
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[The fight is well drained out of their words though as they sigh.]
I don't think it's wrong to care, broadly speaking.
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I can focus on multiple things. [headtilt.] You just don't want to get attached to us in case we end up dying.
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You think you have me all figured out, do you? What cheek. Yes, I would regret getting too involved with any of you. It isn't just that.
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