[ the number of people in this game who were once the control of someone else is kind of insane; even from the conversation before he died, he knows why karlach would find this more emotionally affecting. maybe it's the shared circumstances and fears that are why he doesn't reject what she says outright. his feelings are mostly confused, grateful but not really sure what to do with it.
still, he waves off the condolences. ]
I don't deserve anything. [ unfortunately he is cheese sasuke though he just says this with as flat an intonation as possible. he may have been a teenager but he still invented fantasy heroin so he can die as a favor to the universe. ] ...You say it took practice. What do you mean?
[just noogies the absolute shit out of him but lovingly
no, she doesn't do that, but she leans on the bar, watching him.]
When I got thrown down into the Hells, they tore my heart out. [imagine i give you that memshare too] It took years for me to not be a bitter mess of a person. I was there for ten years, Nehan, and I wasn't always like the way I am now.
It got so miserable. I couldn't die, Zariel would just drag me back up again, so it was just endless killing my way through hoards, and there was nothing to look forward to, but then just - I don't know. One day I got up and decided that I needed to find some sort of happiness to hold onto, or I wasn't going to be a person anymore.
So I just tried to find one good thing a day. Sometimes the only good thing was that I woke up at all, but - that's the reason I looked up when the ship that I escaped on came through.
ten years. and she's still young, so... it's a huge swathe of life to just be someone else's wrecking ball; he'd have found death a mercy after that long. but maybe that's the whole point. she'd dug up a reason to want to be alive, day by day, even if it meant being afraid to lose it all. he hasn't been scared in a while, but that comes with its own issues.
he drums his fingers before raising his gaze from the sticky bartop to her. ]
Seems like you've managed to come out the other side relatively intact. Congratulations on still being a person.
[ his voice is always soft and dry, but in this case, it's sincere. it takes a lot to make it out of so much hardship and still be yourself. ]
I assume you have more than just one good thing a day now, as well.
[gives you it in the other thread to just absolutely ruin jamba juice
anyway, she smiles a little at that, the sincerity.]
Thanks. And yeah. I've got a lot of good things, most of which are people, but - other things, too. Music, good food. Comfy clothes, a warm bed to sleep in. I've only been here a day and it's improved.
[genuinely. but also:]
Never too late to find yourself again. I mean that - I know you don't believe me, but you've still got plenty of chances.
[she's still young, and so is he. arguably he has even more time than she does.]
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still, he waves off the condolences. ]
I don't deserve anything. [ unfortunately he is cheese sasuke though he just says this with as flat an intonation as possible. he may have been a teenager but he still invented fantasy heroin so he can die as a favor to the universe. ] ...You say it took practice. What do you mean?
no subject
no, she doesn't do that, but she leans on the bar, watching him.]
When I got thrown down into the Hells, they tore my heart out. [imagine i give you that memshare too] It took years for me to not be a bitter mess of a person. I was there for ten years, Nehan, and I wasn't always like the way I am now.
It got so miserable. I couldn't die, Zariel would just drag me back up again, so it was just endless killing my way through hoards, and there was nothing to look forward to, but then just - I don't know. One day I got up and decided that I needed to find some sort of happiness to hold onto, or I wasn't going to be a person anymore.
So I just tried to find one good thing a day. Sometimes the only good thing was that I woke up at all, but - that's the reason I looked up when the ship that I escaped on came through.
no subject
ten years. and she's still young, so... it's a huge swathe of life to just be someone else's wrecking ball; he'd have found death a mercy after that long. but maybe that's the whole point. she'd dug up a reason to want to be alive, day by day, even if it meant being afraid to lose it all. he hasn't been scared in a while, but that comes with its own issues.
he drums his fingers before raising his gaze from the sticky bartop to her. ]
Seems like you've managed to come out the other side relatively intact. Congratulations on still being a person.
[ his voice is always soft and dry, but in this case, it's sincere. it takes a lot to make it out of so much hardship and still be yourself. ]
I assume you have more than just one good thing a day now, as well.
no subject
anyway, she smiles a little at that, the sincerity.]
Thanks. And yeah. I've got a lot of good things, most of which are people, but - other things, too. Music, good food. Comfy clothes, a warm bed to sleep in. I've only been here a day and it's improved.
[genuinely. but also:]
Never too late to find yourself again. I mean that - I know you don't believe me, but you've still got plenty of chances.
[she's still young, and so is he. arguably he has even more time than she does.]