["but you want it", he says, and there's the small, selfish part of her that answers "badly." as a cetra, as a person in general, she always knew that when she died she'd return to the planet, and there was comfort in that. there was something safe about being inside the life of the planet itself and still acting in her will. but being outside of it now and once again seeing the wonders of life, she returns to the idea of "not yet."
it's a lot of what touched her about lucas in the first place. she recognized that same sort of helplessness of knowing that even when they returned, time was limited. they couldn't stay with the people they loved most for long. it's why she reacted as strongly as she did, really, realizing a future for him more or less handcrafted by a man thought of as a god. and now this same man is offering the same for her help to save lucas to get that future.
the thing about it all is that she'd do it on the principle of believing it was the right way to do this. it's ultimately wanting lucas to have a better life, and recognizing that scien has no way to do this himself right now. being in a place like this could easily steer lucas down the wrong path rather than the road to salvation. but she also can recognize what this is. it's not a favor. it's an exchange. and it's the only reason she doesn't argue, because she thinks scien kind of already knows her choice anyway.]
You're right. I was already leaning toward it. [but.] ...but I understand. I will help you with this.
[and in return, she will accept the help. whatever that looks like, should they succeed.]
no subject
it's a lot of what touched her about lucas in the first place. she recognized that same sort of helplessness of knowing that even when they returned, time was limited. they couldn't stay with the people they loved most for long. it's why she reacted as strongly as she did, really, realizing a future for him more or less handcrafted by a man thought of as a god. and now this same man is offering the same for her help to save lucas to get that future.
the thing about it all is that she'd do it on the principle of believing it was the right way to do this. it's ultimately wanting lucas to have a better life, and recognizing that scien has no way to do this himself right now. being in a place like this could easily steer lucas down the wrong path rather than the road to salvation. but she also can recognize what this is. it's not a favor. it's an exchange. and it's the only reason she doesn't argue, because she thinks scien kind of already knows her choice anyway.]
You're right. I was already leaning toward it. [but.] ...but I understand. I will help you with this.
[and in return, she will accept the help. whatever that looks like, should they succeed.]