[He's quiet for a second, thinking about that benevolence and the hand that had reached out at the end of such a long, hopeless, miserable struggle. He loves his sister so very much - enough to kill for her over and over.]
...No one else would treat her. [In the whole of the island, not a single doctor would even try. He's heard it before, "don't blame yourself for taking the first hand you saw", but he still does.
As for the rest, there's a bit of tension in the silence that follows. Then:] The last time that I spoke to him, I was under the influence of that strange curse that lifted my mood. He talked me into getting rid of the last doses I had, then.
[BECAUSE HE WAS JUST RUNNING AROUND WITH DRUGS. No more, though, and he is........
NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT!!!!! SCIEN BROFIISE KEEPS RUINING HIS LIFE* *saving him
Even though, in his increasingly clear-headed state, there's a part of him that understands and recognizes that Scien was right in saying that it would be a painful but necessary step. It's why he'd held off for so long on his own, up until his already extremely fragile mental health took more hits than he could keep up with.]
[ he's not here to absolve lucas for the things he'd do for family, but he at least recognizes someone taking advantage of a desperate soul. he continues to talk without pity or disdain, soft-spoken. ]
...And now you're confused. It makes sense, given the state you were reduced to.
[ the brainwashing. ]
Your sister is safe now, right? You don't have any excuses not to wake up from this long dream of yours. Even if it's hard.
[It's a tone that anchors him, which is especially helpful given it's still a nightmare struggle to reign in the impulsive thoughts and feelings he has about Scien specifically. He squeezes his hands together, curling his fingers, quiet for another few seconds.]
She's healed, at the very least.
[His sister also ISN'T SAFE YET BECAUSE SHE'S STILL WITH A MANIAC but that's all the more reason for him to survive and return, so he can pop that guy's noggin like a grape.]
...I would... also like to be well again, for her.
[ when you're trained to believe someone is the devil, and he's the one who ends up cutting off your fantasy heroin and setting you on the path of being sober. it's complicated, and not really any of his business on a personal level.
but his recovery is something he can be invested in, so. ]
...Yes. You ought to get back to her as yourself.
[ sibling to sibling communication. ]
I've seen treatment centers filled with people like you. It can take time, help, and very painful effort, but recovery is possible as long as the drug itself is well understood. Which in your case, it is.
[ he's got a small phial now, stirring its contents gently until the colors change. ]
Don't forget about your sister when you get tempted to give up.
[SIBLING TO SIBLING COMMUNICATION... He's truly the embodiment of the do it for her meme, he will put himself and also unfortunately other people through any amount of wildass shit for NADIA'S SAKE!!!!
He'd been angry at Scien at the time, back when the curse had worn off and he'd returned to an even deeper state of guilt than before. The week hardly improved from there, and he's been in such physical and emotional pain that not having a crutch to rely on felt like the worst kind of torment. But. ...Time, help and very painful effort isn't something he can't handle. And if it's for Nadia, he'll endure anything.
He watches the colors in the vial change somewhat idly, thinking about being able to meet his sister with a fully clear head for the first time in years.]
I'll remember her. ...I won't give up. It's the very least that I owe her.
[And his fuckin victims, considering it's hard to properly repent for the crimes you commit when your brain's soup.]
[ he thinks of the conversation they had before they died, and the lengths this man went to for his sibling, and meets his eyes evenly. he hasn't forgotten that an innocent life was spent for all this opportunity, but for now, he wants to believe him.
one step closer to making things right. ]
I'll hold you to that.
[ he hands over the vial. ]
Next dose I'll prepare as pills, since that's what you're used to. Take this for now, though.
[This man went to so many lengths for his sibling. Ichiban is just the cherry. Sometimes you just do so much shit in eight years.
But he's clear enough of mind now that he doesn't want to disappoint his sister, far away as she currently is. And even though he's not exactly close to Nehan, there's a sense of not wanting to disappoint him, either. So he reaches out to take the vial, this time without the same reluctant skirting.]
If this is easier, it works just as well. I didn't start taking pills until I was given these. [Regardless of what he was dosed with and how many things Ortie tried, they were almost always injectibles.
He'll tip the contents of the vial into his mouth without stalling, though, and hand it back with a quiet:] ...Thank you. I apologize for the trouble.
[A lil nod, before he stands again to politely excuse himself and go (looks at the timing of this thread) take a nap and then watch ara be fucking suspicious for 4 hours and then witness Camille continue to survive harrowing affairs and also maybe set the bees on fire. points at eyes points at u im coming for my memshare soon]
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no subject
...No one else would treat her. [In the whole of the island, not a single doctor would even try. He's heard it before, "don't blame yourself for taking the first hand you saw", but he still does.
As for the rest, there's a bit of tension in the silence that follows. Then:] The last time that I spoke to him, I was under the influence of that strange curse that lifted my mood. He talked me into getting rid of the last doses I had, then.
[BECAUSE HE WAS JUST RUNNING AROUND WITH DRUGS. No more, though, and he is........
NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT!!!!! SCIEN BROFIISE KEEPS RUINING HIS LIFE*
*saving him
Even though, in his increasingly clear-headed state, there's a part of him that understands and recognizes that Scien was right in saying that it would be a painful but necessary step. It's why he'd held off for so long on his own, up until his already extremely fragile mental health took more hits than he could keep up with.]
no subject
...And now you're confused. It makes sense, given the state you were reduced to.
[ the brainwashing. ]
Your sister is safe now, right? You don't have any excuses not to wake up from this long dream of yours. Even if it's hard.
[ even if it's painful, which he's sure it is. ]
no subject
She's healed, at the very least.
[His sister also ISN'T SAFE YET BECAUSE SHE'S STILL WITH A MANIAC but that's all the more reason for him to survive and return, so he can pop that guy's noggin like a grape.]
...I would... also like to be well again, for her.
no subject
but his recovery is something he can be invested in, so. ]
...Yes. You ought to get back to her as yourself.
[ sibling to sibling communication. ]
I've seen treatment centers filled with people like you. It can take time, help, and very painful effort, but recovery is possible as long as the drug itself is well understood. Which in your case, it is.
[ he's got a small phial now, stirring its contents gently until the colors change. ]
Don't forget about your sister when you get tempted to give up.
no subject
He'd been angry at Scien at the time, back when the curse had worn off and he'd returned to an even deeper state of guilt than before. The week hardly improved from there, and he's been in such physical and emotional pain that not having a crutch to rely on felt like the worst kind of torment. But. ...Time, help and very painful effort isn't something he can't handle. And if it's for Nadia, he'll endure anything.
He watches the colors in the vial change somewhat idly, thinking about being able to meet his sister with a fully clear head for the first time in years.]
I'll remember her. ...I won't give up. It's the very least that I owe her.
[And his fuckin victims, considering it's hard to properly repent for the crimes you commit when your brain's soup.]
no subject
one step closer to making things right. ]
I'll hold you to that.
[ he hands over the vial. ]
Next dose I'll prepare as pills, since that's what you're used to. Take this for now, though.
no subject
But he's clear enough of mind now that he doesn't want to disappoint his sister, far away as she currently is. And even though he's not exactly close to Nehan, there's a sense of not wanting to disappoint him, either. So he reaches out to take the vial, this time without the same reluctant skirting.]
If this is easier, it works just as well. I didn't start taking pills until I was given these. [Regardless of what he was dosed with and how many things Ortie tried, they were almost always injectibles.
He'll tip the contents of the vial into his mouth without stalling, though, and hand it back with a quiet:] ...Thank you. I apologize for the trouble.
no subject
It's nothing.
[ clipped. not interested in thanks and sorries. he takes the vial back and places it back into a stand on his desk, no doubt to be filled again. ]
Come back here for your next dose. [ i will give you memshare next time aki as i escape week 3 ]
no subject
[A lil nod, before he stands again to politely excuse himself and go (looks at the timing of this thread) take a nap and then watch ara be fucking suspicious for 4 hours and then witness Camille continue to survive harrowing affairs and also maybe set the bees on fire. points at eyes points at u im coming for my memshare soon]