[ later, when he's a little less caught up in all his emotions, scien will think about how amusing it is for lucas to feel so comfortable and cozy in his arms even when he doesn't have the ability to see or fully comprehend touch. it was just weeks ago when lucas had full comprehension of all his senses, and yet was still so tense and stiff in scien's lap. it's remarkable just how far the trust has come.
he doesn't feel any type of concern when he leans forward, pressing another kiss to lucas's forehead, not even giving him the slightest warning. ]
I will not be satisfied until I receive everything.
[Progress truly blasts forward between the absolute intensity of Scien in pursuit and the lulls in complete insanity where Lucas can be more of his natural self... Scary.
There's another little blip of surprise in the vibes at the sudden kiss, but that doesn't invoke any violence, either. WHEN HE'S DOCILE HE IS TRULY SO DOCILE just calm and comfortable being held and kissed by Scien even when he can't see a damn thing. He tilts his head forward a little, letting his fingers smooth over Scien's cheeks as gently as he's able.]
All of my time? I fear you may be left unsatisfied, then.
[More gentle amusement. OH TO HAVE BEEN ABLE TO PLAY TEASING FLIRT LUCAS THE WHOLE GAME YOU TIRINGASS CATHOLIC.]
[ if he tilts his head forward… does he want more kissy…? scien tilts his head briefly a little confused but just kisses both of lucas’s cheeks (face) like that’ll help. ]
You can make it up to me in other ways.
[ don’t just decide this. but even though scien’s exhausted by the weight of his own emotions, he wants to meet lucas’s gentle teasing… it’s so endearing, let him have fun ]
[DON'T JUST BECOME A FUCKING COSMIC EXTINCTION EVENT.
This is fine, though, this is fine. Scien's out here outranking even his own greed, which will truly only grow with time even if he'd like to pretend he's better than that. He's a naturally selfish person!! In that no matter what ills he's responsible for, he still wants good for himself!!]
Oh, dear... So I've gotten myself into a mess that I won't be able to get myself back out of? Is that it?
[ there's no need to be better than that! be selfish! the way that there is truly nothing selfish about scien except his greed surrounding lucas specifically ]
[ALL THE SELFISHNESS IS IN LUCAS!!!!! EVEN THOUGH HE WANTS TO BE SAINTLY AND FREE OF SIN!!!!! HE IS ALSO SOOO FULL OF EARTHLY DESIRES!!! Like the desire to simply be held in someone's arms and feel safe even though he just died his stupidest death to date and can't see or feel anything.
Anyway he'd normally tease more about this but he's still reeling from being bodied by Scien's fucking emotions so he just smiles in the soft and sad way he sometimes does.]
it warms him in an unexpected way. to be told that it's not possible to escape him and his affection. to maybe, just maybe, start to think about having something that could last. he closes his own eyes now and just lets his face rest by lucas's, brushing his nose against his cheek ]
[IT IS TRULY SIMPLY NOT POSSIBLE... Lucas feels that way now, at least - or maybe he's felt that way for a bit, but it's only recently that it's changed shape into something that he finds warm and comforting. To never be able to shake Scien Brofiise had been a curse some weeks here, even if he could simply turn away from the basement and leave. But it doesn't feel so much like one anymore.
He tilts his head a little, leaning against Scien's.]
Thank you for giving me something to stay for.
[Beyond Nadia, Scien has truly created every damn tether.]
I intend for you to have a long, fulfilling life. One full of blue skies and baked goods and cats.
[ even before things warped, scien intended for that to be the case for lucas. to heal his body and his mind until he's able to reach out and cradle his joy in his own two hands. ]
But now I intend to see that life alongside you. I won't accept a future in which I'm uninvited.
[He'd truly been so reluctant to accept the idea of it - and there will surely come times when he is again, because recovery isn't linear or a single slope upward into betterment. Even now, there's the weight of thinking that it's undeserved.
But he'll laugh just a little, anyway.]
I would never be so rude as to uninvite a person I've let into my life. [That he's let into himself, really; that he's opened his heart to, however messy and complex and volatile and at points reluctant it's been.] So it seems our future will be shared.
[ he's thinking idly of how to best handle this, when scien knows that he can't go back to lucas's timeline with him. while it's possible to just kill that scien brofiise, he has his own lucas to get back to.
what do you do when your favoritism stretches across universes, and doesn't change that there's still another person who needs you?
well.
he assumes he'll figure it out. for now he just presses a kiss to lucas's mouth to take up the space of the silence ]
[Sometimes you fall in love with your dog (cult) and realize you have to go back for your dog (therapied) because you DITCHED HIS ASS WITH NO WARNING because you DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS A DESPAIRINGLY LONELY PERSON!!!!! It's fine...
Lucas understands on some subconscious level that they'll have to part ways when they're done here, if only because there's already a Scien Brofiise in his world. But in the same way that he doesn't really think very far ahead in general, he hasn't spent much time thinking about the bleak possibilities of learning to love and letting go just yet. Scien's already mentioned something about a backup once, and he'd promptly looked at that and gone "I pretend I do not see".]
You paint quite a picture.
[NOT THE UNNAMED CAT and pending children... But he seems content with it, regardless. Just a little greed, a little indulgence.]
there is something to be said in the irony that scien's favor toward his own lucas and his attachment to this lucas has simply convinced him that there is no lucas out there in the world that he couldn't come to love. while lucas who so dearly cherishes being able to have one life experienced in one body has attachment that is so specific to this one scien, no matter how they could possibly be identical even with a memory backup delivered.
it is a chasm waiting to swallow them both.
but they can talk about cats. ]
I'd rather not get into the details of engagement and marriage without Nadia's input... I'm sure she would have thoughts.
[Sometimes you're two very different people with very different fundamental views on Relivers and also other various philosophical things that will definitely become a trainwreck in the very near future, but hey! Cats!
The thought of Nadia and her fussing just makes him feel a fond and radiating warmth in the way he always does when he thinks of Nadia, and also a touch of exasperation.]
Oh, I'm sure she would... She'll be quite relieved to know that she won't have to worry after me anymore, though. Not in this way, at least.
[NADIA WHO HAS BADGERED HIM FOR YEARS TO GET MARRIED for depressing reasons BUT DAMN. HE'S FREE.]
[THAT WAS A NURSE!!! IT WASN'T HIS FAULT!!! Did he encourage her to keep reading anyway because she seemed to enjoy them and he loves seeing Nadia have a good time? Maybe so, maybe so... It's fine.]
As long as she enjoys them, it's fine, though, isn't it?
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he doesn't feel any type of concern when he leans forward, pressing another kiss to lucas's forehead, not even giving him the slightest warning. ]
I will not be satisfied until I receive everything.
[ arrogant! greedy! horrible! but so honest ]
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There's another little blip of surprise in the vibes at the sudden kiss, but that doesn't invoke any violence, either. WHEN HE'S DOCILE HE IS TRULY SO DOCILE just calm and comfortable being held and kissed by Scien even when he can't see a damn thing. He tilts his head forward a little, letting his fingers smooth over Scien's cheeks as gently as he's able.]
All of my time? I fear you may be left unsatisfied, then.
[More gentle amusement. OH TO HAVE BEEN ABLE TO PLAY TEASING FLIRT LUCAS THE WHOLE GAME YOU TIRINGASS CATHOLIC.]
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You can make it up to me in other ways.
[ don’t just decide this. but even though scien’s exhausted by the weight of his own emotions, he wants to meet lucas’s gentle teasing… it’s so endearing, let him have fun ]
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Oh? You certainly have an answer to everything, don't you...
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Isn’t it obvious…? I’ll always want more from you. That is what it means to endure my attention.
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This is fine, though, this is fine. Scien's out here outranking even his own greed, which will truly only grow with time even if he'd like to pretend he's better than that. He's a naturally selfish person!! In that no matter what ills he's responsible for, he still wants good for himself!!]
Oh, dear... So I've gotten myself into a mess that I won't be able to get myself back out of? Is that it?
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Do you still think it's an option to try?
[ scien would allow so many things but like
breaking up would be crazy ]
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Anyway he'd normally tease more about this but he's still reeling from being bodied by Scien's fucking emotions so he just smiles in the soft and sad way he sometimes does.]
No, I don't think that it is.
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it warms him in an unexpected way. to be told that it's not possible to escape him and his affection. to maybe, just maybe, start to think about having something that could last. he closes his own eyes now and just lets his face rest by lucas's, brushing his nose against his cheek ]
... thank you.
For wanting to stay.
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He tilts his head a little, leaning against Scien's.]
Thank you for giving me something to stay for.
[Beyond Nadia, Scien has truly created every damn tether.]
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[ even before things warped, scien intended for that to be the case for lucas. to heal his body and his mind until he's able to reach out and cradle his joy in his own two hands. ]
But now I intend to see that life alongside you. I won't accept a future in which I'm uninvited.
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But he'll laugh just a little, anyway.]
I would never be so rude as to uninvite a person I've let into my life. [That he's let into himself, really; that he's opened his heart to, however messy and complex and volatile and at points reluctant it's been.] So it seems our future will be shared.
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[ he's thinking idly of how to best handle this, when scien knows that he can't go back to lucas's timeline with him. while it's possible to just kill that scien brofiise, he has his own lucas to get back to.
what do you do when your favoritism stretches across universes, and doesn't change that there's still another person who needs you?
well.
he assumes he'll figure it out. for now he just presses a kiss to lucas's mouth to take up the space of the silence ]
It will be. You, me, Nadia, and our unnamed cat.
[ children pending ]
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Lucas understands on some subconscious level that they'll have to part ways when they're done here, if only because there's already a Scien Brofiise in his world. But in the same way that he doesn't really think very far ahead in general, he hasn't spent much time thinking about the bleak possibilities of learning to love and letting go just yet. Scien's already mentioned something about a backup once, and he'd promptly looked at that and gone "I pretend I do not see".]
You paint quite a picture.
[NOT THE UNNAMED CAT and pending children... But he seems content with it, regardless. Just a little greed, a little indulgence.]
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there is something to be said in the irony that scien's favor toward his own lucas and his attachment to this lucas has simply convinced him that there is no lucas out there in the world that he couldn't come to love. while lucas who so dearly cherishes being able to have one life experienced in one body has attachment that is so specific to this one scien, no matter how they could possibly be identical even with a memory backup delivered.
it is a chasm waiting to swallow them both.
but they can talk about cats. ]
I'd rather not get into the details of engagement and marriage without Nadia's input... I'm sure she would have thoughts.
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The thought of Nadia and her fussing just makes him feel a fond and radiating warmth in the way he always does when he thinks of Nadia, and also a touch of exasperation.]
Oh, I'm sure she would... She'll be quite relieved to know that she won't have to worry after me anymore, though. Not in this way, at least.
[NADIA WHO HAS BADGERED HIM FOR YEARS TO GET MARRIED for depressing reasons BUT DAMN. HE'S FREE.]
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[ he sounds just a little impressed ]
I do think you contributed to this....
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[THAT WAS A NURSE!!! IT WASN'T HIS FAULT!!! Did he encourage her to keep reading anyway because she seemed to enjoy them and he loves seeing Nadia have a good time? Maybe so, maybe so... It's fine.]
As long as she enjoys them, it's fine, though, isn't it?