[That's really it - it's just the patience, the consistency, the ability to continue again and again even when eight wholeass years of brainwashing make it such an unpleasant and difficult process (mostly for Lucas).
But over the weeks, Scien has shown that - that he's consistent. That his mind hasn't changed. He glances at their hands and then at Scien's face again, gaze lingering reflexively for just a second on the mark of a Reliver on his throat.]
...Well. I wouldn't be a very good teacher if I disagreed with that. The trying is always worthwhile, even if you never reach your destination. Even if you never fully understand. It's what I teach the children, too.
[To keep trying in spite of his own monstrous nature, in spite of how little he feels he understands about Scien more often than not... Would it be such a terrible thing? His emotions are at war as ever, but his hand stays delicately in place.]
Now you're just being ridiculous, though. [Stop offering to learn alongside him for the rest of your life, gayass.]
I am being sincere, and I assume this is something else I will have to repeat to you later. I don't mind.
[ but my god it would really save them a lot of time if lucas just accepted what scien said automatically—but it really is years and years of brainwashing working against them.
scien understands how far they've come, just for them to be sitting together petting cats and holding hands ]
To give you my time is not temporary or fleeting. I am not such an indecisive person. I like you enough that I want to keep you. I won't leave you to fend off your demons by yourself.
[THEY REALLY HAVE COME SO FUCKING FAR MY GOD even just in this single conversation, where he was talked away from an extremely violent ledge. The vestiges of those nastyass emotions still linger, and there's an increased sharpness to him, but he's here nonetheless, sitting with a cat in his lap and his hand in Scien's.
The sincere words he tends to speak have been too overwhelming for him before, though, and it's a bit like that again. Beneath the complex tangle, there's a little twist of something when he hears I like you enough that I want to keep you. His gaze drops back to the cat on his lap, who's busy enjoying its cat life, snoozing away with a paw up in the air. He reaches out to gently squish the toes before tucking it back down.]
Well. [WELL!!!!!] If you did, I'd still manage. [WOULD HE?????] ...But I suppose I haven't had to, in some time.
[Considering Scien is always fucking there, any time he reaches out. Even now that he's died.]
[ with an incredibly generous definition of 'survived'. but it is admittedly the most factual statement that scien can offer. lucas is still alive, through his own determination, and keeping nadia alive along with him. he worked hard. ]
I will not brush aside all your efforts of the past two decades. You have worked very hard for yourself, and for Nadia.
But you can do more than manage and survive. I intend for you to live a full life, where your burdens are halved.
[ because scien will take the other half and then some ]
There's something discomforted in his emotions at that, though. Scien is someone that he does subconsciously feel safe enough with to be vulnerable in front of, but there's still a lot about him that makes it difficult to hear such a direct "I'll help you carry your weight".]
There's no need for that, either, really... [HE CAN DO IT!! (smashcut to lucas falling down 20 more flights of stairs). That said, there's a little flicker of something warm.]
Just this is enough.
[A hand to hold and someone telling him he won't be alone.]
[ there is something in scien's emotions that answer that feeling before he finds this words. no. this isn't enough. while scien is here for lucas so devotedly, he also thinks lucas should experience a better life than this. ]
Then endure it to the best of your ability when the rest comes to you regardless. Warm days spent outside with Nadia. A classroom of your bratty but bright students. A long, healthy life, probably with a cat or two at this rate, and my hand waiting for yours.
[ because scien is a person who is made of greed—so rarely for himself, but so easily for others. he will carry onto this selfishness for lucas until he feels it's safe enough to want on his own.
. . . even if there is a part of him that doesn't hate it. to be told that this—that he—is already enough. ]
[This man has so much fucking audacity in him that even in the midst of this heavyass conversation in which he's still juggling 4000 emotions, he can't help but just give Scien a faintly incredulous look. STOP PAINTING THE PICTURE!!! HE DOESN'T WANT TO BE SELFISH!!!
Except he is selfish, and the little thread of longing tugs at his heart when he thinks of this future. A beautiful place, compared to where he is right now, and where he's been in the past. Terrible, after all of the lives he's ended and all the blood he's spilt, but... that selfish flicker of want remains.]
I don't want to hear it while we're both trapped in this strange town. [Is what his RUDE ASS EVENTUALLY SAYS.]
[ scien thinks the funniest part of literally all of this is that lucas's emotions, as volatile as they are, don't seem to be displaced with the way that scien is gradually making himself a part of his life long-term
which is pretty much all scien needs to know ]
Too bad. I need to make preparations for future plans.
I can at least give you a copy of my memory before you leave, so it can be uploaded into the other Scien Brofiise. Then you won't have to be without me.
[IT'S TRUE... It's done in such a way that even his programming isn't overtly riled by it.
It is, however, overtly riled by the direct mention of making copies of memories and uploads and other Reliver nonsense. There's a sharp spike of that violence, but despite it, Lucas's hand remains still and delicate against Scien's.]
One step at a time. We have to leave here first, survive the summoning of a god, handle a cult, and then we can think about returning.
That is the difference between myself and the Scien Brofiise of your time. I won't let myself be consumed by one specific obsession to the point that I lose sight of the people around me. Progress is being made well enough in the most pressing concerns, so I need to tie up the other loose ends before we leave.
[ so he'll just sit here petting kitty kitties with lucas until something else pulls either of them away. defusing the bomb of his stupid dog's emotions..... successful ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
But over the weeks, Scien has shown that - that he's consistent. That his mind hasn't changed. He glances at their hands and then at Scien's face again, gaze lingering reflexively for just a second on the mark of a Reliver on his throat.]
...Well. I wouldn't be a very good teacher if I disagreed with that. The trying is always worthwhile, even if you never reach your destination. Even if you never fully understand. It's what I teach the children, too.
[To keep trying in spite of his own monstrous nature, in spite of how little he feels he understands about Scien more often than not... Would it be such a terrible thing? His emotions are at war as ever, but his hand stays delicately in place.]
Now you're just being ridiculous, though. [Stop offering to learn alongside him for the rest of your life, gayass.]
no subject
[ but my god it would really save them a lot of time if lucas just accepted what scien said automatically—but it really is years and years of brainwashing working against them.
scien understands how far they've come, just for them to be sitting together petting cats and holding hands ]
To give you my time is not temporary or fleeting. I am not such an indecisive person. I like you enough that I want to keep you. I won't leave you to fend off your demons by yourself.
no subject
The sincere words he tends to speak have been too overwhelming for him before, though, and it's a bit like that again. Beneath the complex tangle, there's a little twist of something when he hears I like you enough that I want to keep you. His gaze drops back to the cat on his lap, who's busy enjoying its cat life, snoozing away with a paw up in the air. He reaches out to gently squish the toes before tucking it back down.]
Well. [WELL!!!!!] If you did, I'd still manage. [WOULD HE?????] ...But I suppose I haven't had to, in some time.
[Considering Scien is always fucking there, any time he reaches out. Even now that he's died.]
no subject
[ with an incredibly generous definition of 'survived'. but it is admittedly the most factual statement that scien can offer. lucas is still alive, through his own determination, and keeping nadia alive along with him. he worked hard. ]
I will not brush aside all your efforts of the past two decades. You have worked very hard for yourself, and for Nadia.
But you can do more than manage and survive. I intend for you to live a full life, where your burdens are halved.
[ because scien will take the other half and then some ]
no subject
There's something discomforted in his emotions at that, though. Scien is someone that he does subconsciously feel safe enough with to be vulnerable in front of, but there's still a lot about him that makes it difficult to hear such a direct "I'll help you carry your weight".]
There's no need for that, either, really... [HE CAN DO IT!! (smashcut to lucas falling down 20 more flights of stairs). That said, there's a little flicker of something warm.]
Just this is enough.
[A hand to hold and someone telling him he won't be alone.]
no subject
Then endure it to the best of your ability when the rest comes to you regardless. Warm days spent outside with Nadia. A classroom of your bratty but bright students. A long, healthy life, probably with a cat or two at this rate, and my hand waiting for yours.
[ because scien is a person who is made of greed—so rarely for himself, but so easily for others. he will carry onto this selfishness for lucas until he feels it's safe enough to want on his own.
. . . even if there is a part of him that doesn't hate it. to be told that this—that he—is already enough. ]
no subject
Except he is selfish, and the little thread of longing tugs at his heart when he thinks of this future. A beautiful place, compared to where he is right now, and where he's been in the past. Terrible, after all of the lives he's ended and all the blood he's spilt, but... that selfish flicker of want remains.]
I don't want to hear it while we're both trapped in this strange town. [Is what his RUDE ASS EVENTUALLY SAYS.]
no subject
which is pretty much all scien needs to know ]
Too bad. I need to make preparations for future plans.
I can at least give you a copy of my memory before you leave, so it can be uploaded into the other Scien Brofiise. Then you won't have to be without me.
no subject
It is, however, overtly riled by the direct mention of making copies of memories and uploads and other Reliver nonsense. There's a sharp spike of that violence, but despite it, Lucas's hand remains still and delicate against Scien's.]
One step at a time. We have to leave here first, survive the summoning of a god, handle a cult, and then we can think about returning.
no subject
[ juST NO ]
That is the difference between myself and the Scien Brofiise of your time. I won't let myself be consumed by one specific obsession to the point that I lose sight of the people around me. Progress is being made well enough in the most pressing concerns, so I need to tie up the other loose ends before we leave.
no subject
...Well, regardless of what I say, you'll just do what you please.
[GET OUT OF HIS HOUSE!!! He finally moves to take his hand back, though he doesn't get up to leave.]
no subject
[ just confirms this ]
But for now, cats are enough.
[ so he'll just sit here petting kitty kitties with lucas until something else pulls either of them away. defusing the bomb of his stupid dog's emotions..... successful ]