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[THEM JUST SQUINTING AT EACH OTHER LIKE RIKU AND SAKYOU.
The way Essek realizes immediately he made the most STUPID request imaginable here.]
--Wait. Your leg. We can do it later.
The way Essek realizes immediately he made the most STUPID request imaginable here.]
--Wait. Your leg. We can do it later.
Suguru and Satoru invited me to stay with them, so I wouldn't be in the house alone. I was... surprised at the offer, but not surprised that they would make it.
[ dimb kids being nice. ]
But it's sort of like... I'm used to pressure. And situations that could have devastating consequences if it ends certain ways. But when it comes to my own personal safety, I usually am never worried. I can easily cut and run, and it'll be fine. I can't even think of that here. If something happens to me, then those kids [ TOTTY ISN'T A CHILD ] are doomed.
[ dimb kids being nice. ]
But it's sort of like... I'm used to pressure. And situations that could have devastating consequences if it ends certain ways. But when it comes to my own personal safety, I usually am never worried. I can easily cut and run, and it'll be fine. I can't even think of that here. If something happens to me, then those kids [ TOTTY ISN'T A CHILD ] are doomed.
[ help!!! that unfortunately just makes scien laugh, a twinkle of amusement in his eyes at still being called the devil. ]
Oh? Is it not horribly greedy of me, to still want someone who would call me a demon?
[ is that not a sin, to want someone who others would genuinely call holy? even with lucas's bloodied hands, he puts on the airs of a saint and there is nothing that scien wants more than to have him. no matter what barbed words or accusations are still (hilariously) sent his way. ]
In the end, if we are both doomed for damnation, then it is only more my responsibility to ensure that the time you have in this life is filled with happiness.
[ to make this life so achingly worthwhile, no matter the pain left in the past or waiting in the future. ]
Oh? Is it not horribly greedy of me, to still want someone who would call me a demon?
[ is that not a sin, to want someone who others would genuinely call holy? even with lucas's bloodied hands, he puts on the airs of a saint and there is nothing that scien wants more than to have him. no matter what barbed words or accusations are still (hilariously) sent his way. ]
In the end, if we are both doomed for damnation, then it is only more my responsibility to ensure that the time you have in this life is filled with happiness.
[ to make this life so achingly worthwhile, no matter the pain left in the past or waiting in the future. ]
[dimb kids... THEY'RE CUTE THOUGH NOOO his expression warms a little at it, and there's a bit of understanding for her phrasing, too. When the actions are unexpected, but the people they're coming from are the exact sort who'd do them.]
So it's a new kind of pressure, then? [His head cants a little to the side as he follows the thread of conversation. HER KIDS (and totty the muppet).] You're used to dealing with high stakes, but not in quite this way, where you can't leave to ensure your safety but your safety is still paramount. Is that correct...?
So it's a new kind of pressure, then? [His head cants a little to the side as he follows the thread of conversation. HER KIDS (and totty the muppet).] You're used to dealing with high stakes, but not in quite this way, where you can't leave to ensure your safety but your safety is still paramount. Is that correct...?
[NO ONE IN THIS BAR THINKS THIS MAN IS HOLY though he does still unfortunately have a beautiful face that looks like it could belong to an angel. Unfortunate.
He doesn't think it's very greedy, though, even framed like this. Not compared to his own greed, which is horrendous and refuses to die even when it has no right existing in the first place. The selfish parts of his heart feel like rot to him more often than not, but he himself seems to be quite rotten, so maybe it all fits together.]
Is that so... [Maybe it's a little selfish of Scien to want to give him happiness even if he himself doesn't want it, but again, the true selfishness comes from himself, from that buried part of his heart that does want it. A happy life, a peaceful life. A life where he feels safe and doesn't have to be strong constantly.
There's a pause and his hand shifts a little in Scien's, fingertips resting against Scien's fingers, just a small slide away from slipping between them.]
I expect to pay for my sins in Hades, once I'm dead. To take more happiness from this life would certainly be an even worse form of greed.
He doesn't think it's very greedy, though, even framed like this. Not compared to his own greed, which is horrendous and refuses to die even when it has no right existing in the first place. The selfish parts of his heart feel like rot to him more often than not, but he himself seems to be quite rotten, so maybe it all fits together.]
Is that so... [Maybe it's a little selfish of Scien to want to give him happiness even if he himself doesn't want it, but again, the true selfishness comes from himself, from that buried part of his heart that does want it. A happy life, a peaceful life. A life where he feels safe and doesn't have to be strong constantly.
There's a pause and his hand shifts a little in Scien's, fingertips resting against Scien's fingers, just a small slide away from slipping between them.]
I expect to pay for my sins in Hades, once I'm dead. To take more happiness from this life would certainly be an even worse form of greed.
[ yeah this is the preferred outcome actually, surviving two of those things is too much ]
Most of those people, I assume, are ones who care for you.
[ he's thinking about karlach mostly since kanda and boothill would be up there in his mind and they both died ]
Most of those people, I assume, are ones who care for you.
[ he's thinking about karlach mostly since kanda and boothill would be up there in his mind and they both died ]
[Lucas has gay pride rainbow earrings on. MACARONI. MACARONI EARRINGS. AAAAAAAAAA.]
I know, but you... shouldn't be walking so much even with them. What happened? And don't say fog.
I know, but you... shouldn't be walking so much even with them. What happened? And don't say fog.
Edited (PRICE?) 2024-07-28 20:57 (UTC)
[ scien's gaze lowers to watch lucas shift the hold of their hands, but his expression still settles into a combination of amusement and interest. ]
Then let it be my greed, not yours. Or even if you do find yourself wanting, what is the worst that could happen? Desire is an intrinsic part of humanity, one of those emotions you hold onto so tightly.
[ to want is still a feeling. and isn't lucas the one who always lectures scien about how important it is to retain those feelings, to be truly human and nothing like those relivers he detested? ]
I would still accept you, sins and all.
[ and if scien himself is a god, then isn't receiving permission the same thing as a blessing? ]
Then let it be my greed, not yours. Or even if you do find yourself wanting, what is the worst that could happen? Desire is an intrinsic part of humanity, one of those emotions you hold onto so tightly.
[ to want is still a feeling. and isn't lucas the one who always lectures scien about how important it is to retain those feelings, to be truly human and nothing like those relivers he detested? ]
I would still accept you, sins and all.
[ and if scien himself is a god, then isn't receiving permission the same thing as a blessing? ]
[ME LIKE WHAT IS GAY PRICE EARRINGS. THE PRICE YOU PAY IS BECOMING A LITTLE FRUIT.
Opening his mouth before Essek adds on "don't say fog" and then closing his mouth again...]
It's fine... I'd rather be moving than lying in a bed. [He might spring himself soon anyway because worrying people will kill him worse than erasing proof of his SINS.]
I'll explain if you let me show you around a bit.
Opening his mouth before Essek adds on "don't say fog" and then closing his mouth again...]
It's fine... I'd rather be moving than lying in a bed. [He might spring himself soon anyway because worrying people will kill him worse than erasing proof of his SINS.]
I'll explain if you let me show you around a bit.
[HELP. NEHAN JUST LIKE THANK GOD I GOT TO TAKE A NAP.
There's a little pause, at that. Because he doesn't want to burden anyone with having to end his stupid insane life BUT ALSO IF HE JUST SNAPS AND GOES BERSERK AGAIN WHAT THE HELL CAN HE DO.]
...Or... perhaps I can find a way to keep something with me that I can use if it starts feeling like I'm slipping again. But then, if it happens suddenly...
[HE CAN'T BITE THE ARSENIC CAPSULE IF HE JUST GOES INSANE.]
There's a little pause, at that. Because he doesn't want to burden anyone with having to end his stupid insane life BUT ALSO IF HE JUST SNAPS AND GOES BERSERK AGAIN WHAT THE HELL CAN HE DO.]
...Or... perhaps I can find a way to keep something with me that I can use if it starts feeling like I'm slipping again. But then, if it happens suddenly...
[HE CAN'T BITE THE ARSENIC CAPSULE IF HE JUST GOES INSANE.]
[STOP BLESSING HIM STOP BLESSING HIM!!!!!! His eyes close for a moment at that - I would still accept you, sins and all - because it is a very big statement for one little lonely Catholic to hear. It's the exact sort of sentiment you'd expect from a loving god. One who wouldn't abandon you, or threaten to, over the smallest of failures and missteps.
His fingertips continue a careful, hesitant journey, sliding gently until their fingers are interlaced again, though his hold is light and loose.]
Even after finding how many ugly things can exist within the human heart, I would still choose it. [Every time. Only part of that is because of his still quite potent brainwashing; he does cherish and value emotions greatly.]
I've found that mine is quite unpleasant, even so.
[And yet, Scien sees it and accepts.]
His fingertips continue a careful, hesitant journey, sliding gently until their fingers are interlaced again, though his hold is light and loose.]
Even after finding how many ugly things can exist within the human heart, I would still choose it. [Every time. Only part of that is because of his still quite potent brainwashing; he does cherish and value emotions greatly.]
I've found that mine is quite unpleasant, even so.
[And yet, Scien sees it and accepts.]
[ lucas is hesitant and slow, but scien answers him with certainty every step of the way. when their fingers weave together, scien's curl to gently hold lucas's hand in return.
his expression softens ever so slightly.
lucas calls his heart unpleasant. scien doesn't bother to waste time arguing with him about it. to say that he's better than he thinks, or that he's just so entirely human. even if those things are true. what is most important to scien is one simple statement. ]
As long as you choose your heart, then I will choose you.
[ just as lucas never wanted to become a reliver, scien would never think to accept a diluted version of him. emotions can be confounding, annoying, and inefficient—but it is because lucas feels so much, so wildly, so recklessly that it makes the whole of him so captivating. ]
his expression softens ever so slightly.
lucas calls his heart unpleasant. scien doesn't bother to waste time arguing with him about it. to say that he's better than he thinks, or that he's just so entirely human. even if those things are true. what is most important to scien is one simple statement. ]
As long as you choose your heart, then I will choose you.
[ just as lucas never wanted to become a reliver, scien would never think to accept a diluted version of him. emotions can be confounding, annoying, and inefficient—but it is because lucas feels so much, so wildly, so recklessly that it makes the whole of him so captivating. ]
[He's the one who initiated this paw hold and yet he's suddenly wanting to pull his hand away again... IT'S SCARY!!!!!
But he leaves his hand where it is and watches as Scien's fingers curl around his own, and beyond the gnarl of ever-present unpleasantness, there's something soft.]
Well. I'll always choose my heart, at least.
[Said as if it's a great misfortune, because his heart is selfish and leads him to do things like survive and survive for Nadia's sake, even if he should really be buried and forgotten. If Scien would choose him even then, it's not like he has much of a say.]
But he leaves his hand where it is and watches as Scien's fingers curl around his own, and beyond the gnarl of ever-present unpleasantness, there's something soft.]
Well. I'll always choose my heart, at least.
[Said as if it's a great misfortune, because his heart is selfish and leads him to do things like survive and survive for Nadia's sake, even if he should really be buried and forgotten. If Scien would choose him even then, it's not like he has much of a say.]
Good.
It is the heart that loves your sister. That educates an island of children that desperately need better than what they've been given. That fusses over everyone else and seeks to give understanding even to those who don't expect it.
[ at least, that's how scien felt about it. ]
Even if sometimes it screams for retribution, it isn't wrong. And it's still yours.
[ so what if lucas sometimes gets violent? so what if his strength is predisposed to tearing people apart? it is the dichotomy of these—to have such a gentle heart and a destructive hand, that makes him so uniquely bizarre.
scien doesn't pull his hand away, and he doesn't turn his gaze elsewhere either. he looks upon lucas in his entirety, and admires him nonetheless. ]
It is the heart that loves your sister. That educates an island of children that desperately need better than what they've been given. That fusses over everyone else and seeks to give understanding even to those who don't expect it.
[ at least, that's how scien felt about it. ]
Even if sometimes it screams for retribution, it isn't wrong. And it's still yours.
[ so what if lucas sometimes gets violent? so what if his strength is predisposed to tearing people apart? it is the dichotomy of these—to have such a gentle heart and a destructive hand, that makes him so uniquely bizarre.
scien doesn't pull his hand away, and he doesn't turn his gaze elsewhere either. he looks upon lucas in his entirety, and admires him nonetheless. ]
I think you're the only person who would speak so certainly on it.
[It's a heart that loves his sister, certainly, and one that tries to be gentle even if it sometimes screams for retribution, but Scien is capable of looking at him more kindly - much more kindly - than he's capable of looking at himself.
When he looks up and Scien's looking at him, his eyes immediately flick away again. OH THE HORRORS OF BEING SEEN (literal) (metaphoric).]
...In any case, if you're done...
[It's a heart that loves his sister, certainly, and one that tries to be gentle even if it sometimes screams for retribution, but Scien is capable of looking at him more kindly - much more kindly - than he's capable of looking at himself.
When he looks up and Scien's looking at him, his eyes immediately flick away again. OH THE HORRORS OF BEING SEEN (literal) (metaphoric).]
...In any case, if you're done...
I'm filling the gap since you're too cruel to yourself.
[ and scien is cruel and horrible to so many people, but never him.
he'll take the suggestion for what it is though, going to stand and giving a brief warning - ] Let's go then.
[ before scooping lucas right back up into his arms to start walking back toward the apartments ]
[ and scien is cruel and horrible to so many people, but never him.
he'll take the suggestion for what it is though, going to stand and giving a brief warning - ] Let's go then.
[ before scooping lucas right back up into his arms to start walking back toward the apartments ]
[The way Lucas truly has such a skewed experience of Scien Brofiise because he spends his time being showered in nonstop favoritism...
He's just SILENT in response to the first part because he's NOT he is perhaps NOT CRUEL ENOUGH but it's fine. Hilariously this time, he just allows Scien to scoop him up instead of kicking up a fuss about it and leans into him without much pause. He's just accepted his fate. Truly adapts so quickly.]
You said that you've been able to make your pain medication again, correct...?
He's just SILENT in response to the first part because he's NOT he is perhaps NOT CRUEL ENOUGH but it's fine. Hilariously this time, he just allows Scien to scoop him up instead of kicking up a fuss about it and leans into him without much pause. He's just accepted his fate. Truly adapts so quickly.]
You said that you've been able to make your pain medication again, correct...?
[ the lean is cute......
scien rewards him with a lil kiss to his hair again, but proceeds on quickly afterward ]
Since the first time you reminded me, yes. I take it after I see you.
[ he said he'd remember to take it as long as lucas wanted him to, and since they've been seeing each other more often this is the most diligent scien has been in a long time ]
scien rewards him with a lil kiss to his hair again, but proceeds on quickly afterward ]
Since the first time you reminded me, yes. I take it after I see you.
[ he said he'd remember to take it as long as lucas wanted him to, and since they've been seeing each other more often this is the most diligent scien has been in a long time ]
[PAVLOV'D WITH SO MANY LIL KISSIES. He doesn't even make a little disgruntled noise this time, he simply accepts it, even if he is still a bit tense. There's a little beat, but then he nods.]
Alright. [His stupid not-insane heart still feels guilty over the time he kicked Scien into the suffering box even if it was only like 12 hours.]
Alright. [His stupid not-insane heart still feels guilty over the time he kicked Scien into the suffering box even if it was only like 12 hours.]
[ lucas your lil kissies...
i think about how scien has been walking around with broken ribs because i stole francy's 6 to get him injured by lucas, and he has said not a word about it and never will. ]
And you? When was your last coughing fit? Have they lessened in frequency?
i think about how scien has been walking around with broken ribs because i stole francy's 6 to get him injured by lucas, and he has said not a word about it and never will. ]
And you? When was your last coughing fit? Have they lessened in frequency?
[LISTEN HERE GAY PRICE MACARONI EARRINGS
Yeah, that's what he thought. Unfortunately, return fire gets him back.]
...Mn.
[THIS IS NOT WHAT HE WANTED. Very well. He mutters something under his breath. The crutches - crutch??? one? idk - begin to pull and tug right out of Lucas's arms. Goodbye. But at the same time, Lucas begins to drift into the air about a foot or so off the ground.
Essek is already floating because it's fucking habit, but now Lucas floats along with him. The crutches, too.]
Now. Shall we?
Yeah, that's what he thought. Unfortunately, return fire gets him back.]
...Mn.
[THIS IS NOT WHAT HE WANTED. Very well. He mutters something under his breath. The crutches - crutch??? one? idk - begin to pull and tug right out of Lucas's arms. Goodbye. But at the same time, Lucas begins to drift into the air about a foot or so off the ground.
Essek is already floating because it's fucking habit, but now Lucas floats along with him. The crutches, too.]
Now. Shall we?
[HIS LIL KISSIES!!!!!!
ALSO SAY SOMETHING YOU PIECE OF SHIT SCIENTIST. The way Lucas barely even remembers that whole ordeal and wouldn't think to doublecheck because Scien is so damn good at hiding his injuries and his brain is still so used to registering Scien as an enemy.]
They have... It's been five days since the last notable one. I still have a few here and there, but nothing debilitating.
ALSO SAY SOMETHING YOU PIECE OF SHIT SCIENTIST. The way Lucas barely even remembers that whole ordeal and wouldn't think to doublecheck because Scien is so damn good at hiding his injuries and his brain is still so used to registering Scien as an enemy.]
They have... It's been five days since the last notable one. I still have a few here and there, but nothing debilitating.
[ OH TO BE COMFY AND COZY BEING CARRIED IN THE ARMS OF YOUR ENEMY AS YOU LEAN INTO HIS HOLD lucas's brain is so soupy and scien thinks it's hysterical
he nods at that ]
Good. Any notable chest pains? Your stamina is the same as usual, I'm assuming.
[ if he's wandering around without his crutches by choice ]
he nods at that ]
Good. Any notable chest pains? Your stamina is the same as usual, I'm assuming.
[ if he's wandering around without his crutches by choice ]
[
THIS IS HAPPENING THOUGH HE GUESSES SURE!!!! There's a little noise of surprise as his crutch goes byebye, and then the wholeass rest of him also goes byebye. Unfortunately, in the same way that some people look gorgeous when coming out of water while the rest of us look like drowned rats, he probably manages to look ethereal despite having no experience in practical graceful floating.]
A warning would have been fine enough... It's also not as easy guiding you when I'm the one who has to be guided. But I suppose this is fine enough...
[He thinks Essek should come see the cats CAT TIME.]
THIS IS HAPPENING THOUGH HE GUESSES SURE!!!! There's a little noise of surprise as his crutch goes byebye, and then the wholeass rest of him also goes byebye. Unfortunately, in the same way that some people look gorgeous when coming out of water while the rest of us look like drowned rats, he probably manages to look ethereal despite having no experience in practical graceful floating.]
A warning would have been fine enough... It's also not as easy guiding you when I'm the one who has to be guided. But I suppose this is fine enough...
[He thinks Essek should come see the cats CAT TIME.]
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