![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
You are the one who seemed upset about the disparity in knowledge between us—I am simply giving you the opportunity to ask what you'd like.
[ but if lucas doesn't have anything to ask, then scien won't push exceptionally hard either.
at the mention of will.... ]
People are already discussing how we'll be fed, and I'll be giving the other two my servings. So we should be well looked after.
[ but if lucas doesn't have anything to ask, then scien won't push exceptionally hard either.
at the mention of will.... ]
People are already discussing how we'll be fed, and I'll be giving the other two my servings. So we should be well looked after.
I'll ask questions when I think of them. You don't have to insert opportunities for me.
[No he does because otherwise Lucas would probably just default slide back into not asking anything and answering as little as possible. BUT THIS IS FINE!!! IT'S FINE. Everything is fine. He just glances back to the vials again and thinks about what Scien had said before about nutrition.]
Because these suffice for you, instead?
[What a sad way to live. that's both lucas thinking this and also me aki]
[No he does because otherwise Lucas would probably just default slide back into not asking anything and answering as little as possible. BUT THIS IS FINE!!! IT'S FINE. Everything is fine. He just glances back to the vials again and thinks about what Scien had said before about nutrition.]
Because these suffice for you, instead?
[What a sad way to live. that's both lucas thinking this and also me aki]
[ scien disagrees with that and for that reason he's not going to directly argue. but rather, he'll clarify for his own sake - ] I would rather have balance. I do not want to be blind to the power disparity, and it is in my principles to be fair to you. Simply tell me as you have been if you don't wish to speak.
[ and scien will move on. but that question serves well enough ]
Decades before you were born, before Reliver technology was created, Arpéchéle suffered a food shortage. I learned how to create nutritional supplements then, and kept up the practice even after it was solved and I started mostly eating bread. [ more food rations for the staff that way, why do nobles get first pick of food when they do none of the labor, royals are so stupid ]
This situation isn't unlike that. Others shouldn't be expected to feed us, but if they are generous enough to try, I'd like their efforts to last longer.
[ and scien will move on. but that question serves well enough ]
Decades before you were born, before Reliver technology was created, Arpéchéle suffered a food shortage. I learned how to create nutritional supplements then, and kept up the practice even after it was solved and I started mostly eating bread. [ more food rations for the staff that way, why do nobles get first pick of food when they do none of the labor, royals are so stupid ]
This situation isn't unlike that. Others shouldn't be expected to feed us, but if they are generous enough to try, I'd like their efforts to last longer.
[His lips purse again, in particular at that in my principles to be fair to you, but he really hasn't seen anything to prove it contrary.]
I will.
[It's all he eventually says about that, a bit curt. He knows about the food shortage, though, considering it's in history books and he is a teacher, but he forgot Scien would technically be old enough to have lived through part of it. Wild. ROYALS ARE SO STUPID, THOUGH!! He thinks briefly about how they're all fucking dead in Scien's reality, apparently.]
...I'm certain the other two will appreciate having the food, and those feeding you will appreciate knowing you won't go hungry. Though I'm certain you'll be fussed over if they find you're giving your portion away, even if supplements work just as well for you.
I will.
[It's all he eventually says about that, a bit curt. He knows about the food shortage, though, considering it's in history books and he is a teacher, but he forgot Scien would technically be old enough to have lived through part of it. Wild. ROYALS ARE SO STUPID, THOUGH!! He thinks briefly about how they're all fucking dead in Scien's reality, apparently.]
...I'm certain the other two will appreciate having the food, and those feeding you will appreciate knowing you won't go hungry. Though I'm certain you'll be fussed over if they find you're giving your portion away, even if supplements work just as well for you.
[ scien is like 'is he talking around how other people will fuss about me to get over the mental block of not fussing over me himself when he has a fussy personality'
lucas is so reflexively kind even to satan ]
I will eat enough to serve what I need, but my appetite isn't all that big to begin with. They should understand that, too.
[ he will just drink down another vial
This one's for the pain, though.
ok scien your broken fucking body ]
lucas is so reflexively kind even to satan ]
I will eat enough to serve what I need, but my appetite isn't all that big to begin with. They should understand that, too.
[ he will just drink down another vial
This one's for the pain, though.
ok scien your broken fucking body ]
[LISTEN. MAYBE SO!!!! His fussy personality makes things so hard. He's fussing even more at War and Pesto to make up for the fact that he won't fuss over Scien. He's even fussing at Nehan. It's a nightmare out here.]
As long as you eat some of it.
[TRULY HIS SOUL IS JUST THAT OF A GRANNY WHO KEEPS TRYING TO FEED HER GRANDKIDS AFTER THEY'VE EATEN TOO DAMN MUCH ALREADY.
His head cants a little to the side at that brainmouth thought, though.]
The pain?
As long as you eat some of it.
[TRULY HIS SOUL IS JUST THAT OF A GRANNY WHO KEEPS TRYING TO FEED HER GRANDKIDS AFTER THEY'VE EATEN TOO DAMN MUCH ALREADY.
His head cants a little to the side at that brainmouth thought, though.]
The pain?
I will, I will.
[ there is a brief passing thought of familiar. sometimes hearing lucas's voice nagging at him to eat just really triggers something in him. he pauses a little after hearing his own thought. what is this feeling
nostalgia, you dumbass
anyway, ]
I experiment on my own body before seeing to patients. Some modifications made for Reliver bodies are also still active in my body since I haven't had time to fix my lungs, or they're side effects from clinical trials.
[ he'd already mentioned to lucas that he tests out everything on himself before giving it to nadia, so he doesn't think this is a big surprise. though lucas is sober now ]
[ there is a brief passing thought of familiar. sometimes hearing lucas's voice nagging at him to eat just really triggers something in him. he pauses a little after hearing his own thought. what is this feeling
nostalgia, you dumbass
anyway, ]
I experiment on my own body before seeing to patients. Some modifications made for Reliver bodies are also still active in my body since I haven't had time to fix my lungs, or they're side effects from clinical trials.
[ he'd already mentioned to lucas that he tests out everything on himself before giving it to nadia, so he doesn't think this is a big surprise. though lucas is sober now ]
[NOT THE NOSTALGIA OVER THIS IDIOTASS NONSENSE. He refuses to address those brainmouth thoughts. Not today satan.
Instead, he just focuses on the rest. Scien had mentioned the tests before, he remembers that, but it still grates against the lies he's been fed for so long that it just leaves him feeling discomforted and surprised every time. It's a bit like seeing Nehan turn up dead and realizing "oh, they're serious about this" when the other three stuck around to continue helping.]
How often do you have to take medication for the pain of it...? Will you fix it after you're done here?
[I HAVE NO QUESTIONS says Lucas who keeps finding things to ask about.]
Instead, he just focuses on the rest. Scien had mentioned the tests before, he remembers that, but it still grates against the lies he's been fed for so long that it just leaves him feeling discomforted and surprised every time. It's a bit like seeing Nehan turn up dead and realizing "oh, they're serious about this" when the other three stuck around to continue helping.]
How often do you have to take medication for the pain of it...? Will you fix it after you're done here?
[I HAVE NO QUESTIONS says Lucas who keeps finding things to ask about.]
[ HELP ME
HE LAUGHS. he's not mad at all lucas is so valid ]
While this is true, I would like to hear your reasoning. Did you want to hear a different answer from me?
[ about his pain medications.... ]
At the moment, no. Nadia's treatment plan is all just physical therapy from here, so I don't have any new medications.
HE LAUGHS. he's not mad at all lucas is so valid ]
While this is true, I would like to hear your reasoning. Did you want to hear a different answer from me?
[ about his pain medications.... ]
At the moment, no. Nadia's treatment plan is all just physical therapy from here, so I don't have any new medications.
No.
[STILL CURTLY BECAUSE NOW HE'S ANNOYED THAT SCIEN'S LAUGHING. His natural fussy caring personality is truly at war with how badly he constantly wants to hit Scien with a brick (murder flavor this time).]
If you're only taking supplements and pain medication, it shouldn't be any extra strain to just make and take both, surely.
[STILL CURTLY BECAUSE NOW HE'S ANNOYED THAT SCIEN'S LAUGHING. His natural fussy caring personality is truly at war with how badly he constantly wants to hit Scien with a brick (murder flavor this time).]
If you're only taking supplements and pain medication, it shouldn't be any extra strain to just make and take both, surely.
[ lucas is so funny.... scien raises a brow at the no, but unfortunately his expression just softens out into something unfortunately kind of fond. lucas is soooo mad at him but as he keeps talking, scien lets things click and once again he truly adores his stupid lost dog who is kind even when he's irritable with the devil ]
... it is never about strain. [ he can make any of the things he needs with minimal effort because he is a genius unfortunately ] It is only about time.
... it is never about strain. [ he can make any of the things he needs with minimal effort because he is a genius unfortunately ] It is only about time.
[DON'T LOOK AT HIM FONDLY. He averts his gaze, folding his hands together so he can just squeeze them any time he feels the surge of fckin brick-smacking irritation grow stronger.]
Everyone is short on time. [Said like a near-petulant mumble. But he doesn't want to press any further, because it truly does set his natural fussy personality too at odds with his riled Harm Desire which is always worse when he's in a sour mood.]
But I suppose it doesn't matter.
Everyone is short on time. [Said like a near-petulant mumble. But he doesn't want to press any further, because it truly does set his natural fussy personality too at odds with his riled Harm Desire which is always worse when he's in a sour mood.]
But I suppose it doesn't matter.
[a thought, immediate even though he doesn't want to argue: It is because everyone is short on time that I need to use mine to save them.
what his mouth says: ] It does matter.
[ a beat, followed by a tilt of his head ]
Are you asking me to more regularly take my medicine and supplements?
what his mouth says: ] It does matter.
[ a beat, followed by a tilt of his head ]
Are you asking me to more regularly take my medicine and supplements?
[He'd already been looking generally displeased, but he just frowns even further. There it is again!! The reminder that Scien is not a horrible demon hellbent on throwing everyone else into ruin!! Always thinking about how to save others first!!
He laces his fingers together and squeezes them, idly considering cutting the visit short to go back to his room.]
Do as you will. It's no business of mine.
[As the little tiny normal Lucas voice underneath 8 years of brainwashing thinks: People shouldn't have to be in pain.]
He laces his fingers together and squeezes them, idly considering cutting the visit short to go back to his room.]
Do as you will. It's no business of mine.
[As the little tiny normal Lucas voice underneath 8 years of brainwashing thinks: People shouldn't have to be in pain.]
[ yeah
yeah he hears that, and he sees the discomfort. scien knows that this point, he is pressing on that brainwashing until it is sore. lucas came here without the sad kicked puppy energy of their previous meeting, but scien isn't surprised. it's a second, unnecessary visit—and as glad as he is to see lucas, he can only imagine the mental strain that he must be wrestling with to be here. and there is very little that scien can do to relieve it.
but he's still here.
and he's still fussing in this nostalgic way, worrying over someone that he would still call the devil, even if it's not so directly.
it paints a picture, and scien sees the opportunity for what it is.
in the words that i'm sure le salut lucas wanted to hear so much sooner: ]
I will do it if you request it with your own words, spoken not thought. You've dealt with me being in charge of your medication, so I've decided I'll have you in charge of mine as a show of trust. You can also tell me to stop taking them entirely. I won't take another dose until you give me an answer.
[ in case lucas will choose this moment to just get up and walk away to avoid saying anything at all ]
This time, I'll place my fate in your hands.
[ lucas gets to decide whether or not scien brofiise suffers horrifically or alleviates his own pain. what a fun little detox test ]
yeah he hears that, and he sees the discomfort. scien knows that this point, he is pressing on that brainwashing until it is sore. lucas came here without the sad kicked puppy energy of their previous meeting, but scien isn't surprised. it's a second, unnecessary visit—and as glad as he is to see lucas, he can only imagine the mental strain that he must be wrestling with to be here. and there is very little that scien can do to relieve it.
but he's still here.
and he's still fussing in this nostalgic way, worrying over someone that he would still call the devil, even if it's not so directly.
it paints a picture, and scien sees the opportunity for what it is.
in the words that i'm sure le salut lucas wanted to hear so much sooner: ]
I will do it if you request it with your own words, spoken not thought. You've dealt with me being in charge of your medication, so I've decided I'll have you in charge of mine as a show of trust. You can also tell me to stop taking them entirely. I won't take another dose until you give me an answer.
[ in case lucas will choose this moment to just get up and walk away to avoid saying anything at all ]
This time, I'll place my fate in your hands.
[ lucas gets to decide whether or not scien brofiise suffers horrifically or alleviates his own pain. what a fun little detox test ]
Edited 2024-07-14 08:34 (UTC)
[SCIEN REALLY JUST SCIENS ABOUT IT. EVERY TIME!!!!! Except the difference is, this Lucas is nowhere near as well adjusted and he is bound to fail this detox test, even though it is such a simple one about fckin vitamins and painkillers.
He listens to Scien speak, expression first placid, then confused, then shocked. Here is a man who has placed the choice to harm or help into his hands, and it ignites a flurry of half-finished and loosely formed thoughts, even as he's already halfway standing again because he was absolutely going to get up and walk away to avoid answering.
Lucas can't even look at him for a moment, but when he does, there is something so frigidly angry in his eyes. In the midst of the loud chaos of his mind, there's a quiet, simple: Why? Why is Scien doing this to him? For fun? To make him confront his own monstrous nature again? To show him just how deep the rot goes? They're furious assumptions that go against everything Scien has shown himself to be, but Lucas is not a rational thinker when he's HAVING MOMENTS and his ENTIRE LIFE FOR 2+ WEEKS HAS JUST BEEN ONE LONG MOMENT and this is a TERRIBLE MOMENT IN PARTICULAR.
This simple statement riles something all the way down to the cradle of him, a sickness at odds with how he naturally is and who he wants to be. Lucas Proust would not wish misery on another person, but he's being made to face this horrible thing that delights in the notion of sentencing Scien to harm like some sharp-toothed fox. It laughs with cuspids bared, thinking is the pain terrible? is it unbearable? suffer. suffer. suffer. and that, too, is just his own sinner's soul.
Softly:] ...Is it? Is that what this is...? A show of trust?
[GET OVER ON THIS SIDE SO HE CAN KILL YOU.]
He listens to Scien speak, expression first placid, then confused, then shocked. Here is a man who has placed the choice to harm or help into his hands, and it ignites a flurry of half-finished and loosely formed thoughts, even as he's already halfway standing again because he was absolutely going to get up and walk away to avoid answering.
Lucas can't even look at him for a moment, but when he does, there is something so frigidly angry in his eyes. In the midst of the loud chaos of his mind, there's a quiet, simple: Why? Why is Scien doing this to him? For fun? To make him confront his own monstrous nature again? To show him just how deep the rot goes? They're furious assumptions that go against everything Scien has shown himself to be, but Lucas is not a rational thinker when he's HAVING MOMENTS and his ENTIRE LIFE FOR 2+ WEEKS HAS JUST BEEN ONE LONG MOMENT and this is a TERRIBLE MOMENT IN PARTICULAR.
This simple statement riles something all the way down to the cradle of him, a sickness at odds with how he naturally is and who he wants to be. Lucas Proust would not wish misery on another person, but he's being made to face this horrible thing that delights in the notion of sentencing Scien to harm like some sharp-toothed fox. It laughs with cuspids bared, thinking is the pain terrible? is it unbearable? suffer. suffer. suffer. and that, too, is just his own sinner's soul.
Softly:] ...Is it? Is that what this is...? A show of trust?
[GET OVER ON THIS SIDE SO HE CAN KILL YOU.]
Yes.
[ he watches the anger flare up, and he's not surprised. there is no answering fury, not when he's mocked or the way that lucas's thoughts tell him to suffer. admittedly there was a reason why he was waiting for an active verbal choice rather than whatever his thoughts were going to tell him because it sure seems like a mess in there.
his voice is calm, measured, and patient. ]
I don't care how much you hurt me. I know that you care about the safety and well-being about other people.
... but it's been eight years of being told that Relivers are demons, and that I am the worst of them all. If physical symptoms have been addressed, then we need to next discuss mental blocks. [ a beat ] This is one of them. So an equal exchange sounds fine, since you have been forced into a detox.
But I want to be clear about something, even though I think right now you are too angry to properly absorb it.
I think you are a kind person. I think the core of you wants to help. When you didn't know who I was, masked and unfamiliar, you kept asking after me. Even now, when the thoughts planted in your head tell you that I'm a villain, you ask after my health and comfort. You are here, with me, even though it actively causes you discomfort mentally. To everyone else here who is certainly not a Reliver—you are patient and considerate. These are factual pieces of evidence that run counter to whatever violent urge rests in you.
But I don't hate the part of you that's angry and sharp, because you've been hurt and manipulated to the point that even the idea of being given choice makes you so activated. [ when he has to confront whether he'd actually hurt scien himself, or if he has to untangle the thoughts in his head that whisper to him it's a good idea ] These impulses are vivid, and perhaps there are parts of you that are intermingled with them because it is not a surprise to hold anger toward a cruel world.
But you are not defined by your worst thoughts, no matter how much they might be flaring up right now.
[ he watches the anger flare up, and he's not surprised. there is no answering fury, not when he's mocked or the way that lucas's thoughts tell him to suffer. admittedly there was a reason why he was waiting for an active verbal choice rather than whatever his thoughts were going to tell him because it sure seems like a mess in there.
his voice is calm, measured, and patient. ]
I don't care how much you hurt me. I know that you care about the safety and well-being about other people.
... but it's been eight years of being told that Relivers are demons, and that I am the worst of them all. If physical symptoms have been addressed, then we need to next discuss mental blocks. [ a beat ] This is one of them. So an equal exchange sounds fine, since you have been forced into a detox.
But I want to be clear about something, even though I think right now you are too angry to properly absorb it.
I think you are a kind person. I think the core of you wants to help. When you didn't know who I was, masked and unfamiliar, you kept asking after me. Even now, when the thoughts planted in your head tell you that I'm a villain, you ask after my health and comfort. You are here, with me, even though it actively causes you discomfort mentally. To everyone else here who is certainly not a Reliver—you are patient and considerate. These are factual pieces of evidence that run counter to whatever violent urge rests in you.
But I don't hate the part of you that's angry and sharp, because you've been hurt and manipulated to the point that even the idea of being given choice makes you so activated. [ when he has to confront whether he'd actually hurt scien himself, or if he has to untangle the thoughts in his head that whisper to him it's a good idea ] These impulses are vivid, and perhaps there are parts of you that are intermingled with them because it is not a surprise to hold anger toward a cruel world.
But you are not defined by your worst thoughts, no matter how much they might be flaring up right now.
| [ DON'T POINT THE GUN IT ALWAYS HAPPENS ] On the contrary, I think they simply have diarrhea of the mouth. [ THIS FEELS CRUDE TO SAY BUT IT IS THE ONLY THING HE CAN THINK OF TO ACCURATELY REPRESENT HOW EMOTIONAL SOME OF THESE GUYS ARE ] I'm a little surprised to hear considering how bad it seemed previously. You have been given reprieve, however. |
Edited (how did that get out there get back in beats it) 2024-07-14 18:17 (UTC)
[Just a lil nod! GOOD PEOPLE ALL AROUND. But to segue from them just talking about how nice and sweet everyone is:]
Ah - by the way, there isn't all that much to report for this week. No one has died or found anything new, except for the tome on Wednesdays. Apparently they're what give us things like our mail room, and they have instructions about what we assume is the ritual within.
[Why was this week literally so chill when last week was absolute madness.]
Ah - by the way, there isn't all that much to report for this week. No one has died or found anything new, except for the tome on Wednesdays. Apparently they're what give us things like our mail room, and they have instructions about what we assume is the ritual within.
[Why was this week literally so chill when last week was absolute madness.]
[HELP ME WHY DID YOU LOSE THE WHOLEASS WORDS. Also this is so crude and such a funny thing coming from War's mouth that Lucas looks briefly surprised, and then there's a little flicker of a smile.]
Oh, dear... Well. Being emotionally open isn't a terrible thing.
[Says someone who is an emotional clam BUT IT'S FINE THERE ARE ENOUGH DIARRHEAERS TO MAKE UP FOR HIM.]
It does seem like that's the case, though, yes. Though you've suffered quite a few losses on your end... It seems something is always going wrong on one side or the other.
Oh, dear... Well. Being emotionally open isn't a terrible thing.
[Says someone who is an emotional clam BUT IT'S FINE THERE ARE ENOUGH DIARRHEAERS TO MAKE UP FOR HIM.]
It does seem like that's the case, though, yes. Though you've suffered quite a few losses on your end... It seems something is always going wrong on one side or the other.
Page 59 of 116
- «
- 1
- 2
- 3
- 4
- 5
- 6
- 7
- 8
- 9
- 10
- 11
- 12
- 13
- 14
- 15
- 16
- 17
- 18
- 19
- 20
- 21
- 22
- 23
- 24
- 25
- 26
- 27
- 28
- 29
- 30
- 31
- 32
- 33
- 34
- 35
- 36
- 37
- 38
- 39
- 40
- 41
- 42
- 43
- 44
- 45
- 46
- 47
- 48
- 49
- 50
- 51
- 52
- 53
- 54
- 55
- 56
- 57
- 58
- 59
- 60
- 61
- 62
- 63
- 64
- 65
- 66
- 67
- 68
- 69
- 70
- 71
- 72
- 73
- 74
- 75
- 76
- 77
- 78
- 79
- 80
- 81
- 82
- 83
- 84
- 85
- 86
- 87
- 88
- 89
- 90
- 91
- 92
- 93
- 94
- 95
- 96
- 97
- 98
- 99
- 100
- 101
- 102
- 103
- 104
- 105
- 106
- 107
- 108
- 109
- 110
- 111
- 112
- 113
- 114
- 115
- 116
- »
Page 59 of 116