If you manage to make it the rest of your life and years after this, which you will have [ before he tries to argue ], and you do not ever encounter someone you want to be cruel to—
The parts of yourself you want to claim, as opposed to the parts that you don't. That is part of knowing oneself. To look at actions and decide what is acceptable and not.
Then that is one step forward. You can no longer say that you do not know who you are, because figuring out each piece is part of being a normal person.
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If you manage to make it the rest of your life and years after this, which you will have [ before he tries to argue ], and you do not ever encounter someone you want to be cruel to—
I would consider that a blessing.
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I don't want to feel that way about anyone again, or treat anyone like that even if... even if I do find myself wanting to.
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[he shakes his head, eyes downcast.]
And I didn't... care. I said awful things to her, I thought of something important as just- something I needed out of my way, I treated her like-
[...]
Even if it was just because of my memories, I don't want that to be me again. I- I don't want to do that to someone and still... not care that I did.
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... then is this not you?
The parts of yourself you want to claim, as opposed to the parts that you don't. That is part of knowing oneself. To look at actions and decide what is acceptable and not.
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[oh. ...oh, well, now that they say that-
maybe they do have a point.]
M... maybe so...
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Then that is one step forward. You can no longer say that you do not know who you are, because figuring out each piece is part of being a normal person.
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And you can figure out the other pieces as quickly or slowly as you care to.
There are plenty of people in the world who never truly know themselves into death. That does not make them any less the person they are.
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[so that's- at least somewhat reassuring to hear.]
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You want to, don't you? So you will.
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And I rarely do so.
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I-
[he hesitates a moment. manages not to say 'i'll try'.]
I won't... disappoint you.
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gives mathis one (1) headpat ]
You won't.
[ threatening ]
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he blinks, then manages a tiny smile. approval... from famine... even with the threat]
I- I won't-!
[please appreciate the effort that took]
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famine retracts their hand after ]
Carry that energy with you in more things.
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[listen he only has so much of that in him at the moment]