[ his footsteps are intentionally audible then, so she can count the paces of him stepping closer. he doesn't go in front of her—doesn't back her up against the wall, but instead steps around to her side, leaving her plenty of room to move if she wants to run again. ]
I'm going to touch you.
[ a warning, just before he can run a hand through her hair to push it away from her face. ]
I'm the only god worth believing in. [ he's arrogant, but he's not joking. ok scien. ] ... but that Society says a lot of things. Shh. It wasn't real. I know it's a mess right now, but you didn't hurt them. You didn't hurt anyone.
[she's tense, as he reaches, but she doesn't pull away. it's stupid, she thinks, her brain is being stupid. she's not afraid of him and she doesn't want to hurt him. it wasn't real. it wasn't real.
a shuddery exhale.]
I did, though. For a while. [she mumbles, pulling her knees up to her chest.] I was there. Ripped hearts out.
[ there's another passing feeling of rage—but it's not directed at her, not even a little. just anger on her behalf, and... a hint of remorse. he should've fixed the country sooner.
everything can be traced back to what he didn't care to fix ]
... it's not what you would choose to do. It's what you were made to do.
[ he lets his fingers continue to comb through her hair in even, repetitive little strokes ]
If it helps, I think the bastard who orchestrated all that is long dead.
[slowly, she eases into the fingers in her hair, her shoulders coming down from around her ears.
the rage makes her feel better, almost. her too. she's angry too, in the aftermath.]
Good. Fuck them.
[still staring across the room, her nails digging into her legs, where she's gripping. and she was going to say more, but she just mumbles something instead - a long string of something. prayers? it sounds sort of like prayers.]
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I'm going to touch you.
[ a warning, just before he can run a hand through her hair to push it away from her face. ]
I'm the only god worth believing in. [ he's arrogant, but he's not joking. ok scien. ] ... but that Society says a lot of things. Shh. It wasn't real. I know it's a mess right now, but you didn't hurt them. You didn't hurt anyone.
You don't belong to my shithole of a country.
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a shuddery exhale.]
I did, though. For a while. [she mumbles, pulling her knees up to her chest.] I was there. Ripped hearts out.
[stares just slightly past him, eyes unfocused.]
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everything can be traced back to what he didn't care to fix ]
... it's not what you would choose to do. It's what you were made to do.
[ he lets his fingers continue to comb through her hair in even, repetitive little strokes ]
If it helps, I think the bastard who orchestrated all that is long dead.
no subject
the rage makes her feel better, almost. her too. she's angry too, in the aftermath.]
Good. Fuck them.
[still staring across the room, her nails digging into her legs, where she's gripping. and she was going to say more, but she just mumbles something instead - a long string of something. prayers? it sounds sort of like prayers.]
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scien just interrupts because he will not accept prayers to a different god that she doesn't even believe in ]
Karlach.
If there is something more you seek, say it to me, not them.
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-- What?
[startled, interrupted out of her prayer, looking at scien. she glances back to what she was looking at, and then flinches.]
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What do you see...?
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Suguru's corpse. [wheeze.]
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Close your eyes.
Do you still see anything?
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No. [which is... a relief.]
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[ and he'll do just that, moving to sit at her side. ]
Lean on me. I'm not going anywhere.
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and then does rest her head on his shoulder.]
Okay. [and there's comfort in that, which she'll take. she'll just be here with him for a bit.]