[ :) scien didn't know, no

but it's fine. he frowns, but his emotions don't have any particularly upset vibe to them. not anymore, since she's fine ]

It is a torture to be trapped in one's own mind, or to not trust your own actions as yours.

As long as this is what you want, then everyone ought to understand. They can cry it all out in their letters, but you should not have to carry their weight in this specific matter along with yours.