[ the energy of grimace is felt. he laughs a little bit at that, though... cute.. and tilts his head to match the bird? hello bird! ]
I think they can be pretty smart, right...? We had a lot of crows in Bolderfall, but everyone uses messenger ravens at home. Maybe it has a mischievous streak...
[ oh goodbye bird...he watches it go, before he brings his attention back to them. i guess also since it's Weekly Effects time or whatever, he's got a little ink patch around his heart on his cloak that says not noticing soon enough. learn more against your will ]
You said that before. [ not making friends... man imagine. rondo looks a little more thoughtful, and then nods, looking past them. ] It's okay, we don't have to be friends. But... it's not too bad to talk to others, right?
[ rondo blinks at them, and then looks down, and... it clicks into place. he reaches up to very gently touch the little ink spot, whether it's to smear it or just not to ruin it, and his ever warm expression falters, and rondo falls silent.
he closes his eyes, for a long moment. what did it cost? ]
...Not everything, but...almost everything. And it didn't cost me - it's cost so many people.
[ ... ] Someone important to me was suffering, and I never knew how badly he was suffering until it was too late. If I had known, maybe I could have helped him.
[ he doesn't get angry or anything, but there's a definite, passionate bristle, and rondo says with intensity and immediacy - ]
I could never regret that. [ not regretting who he is, but especially not regretting meeting him. not in a thousand, million years. who would rondo be without sazantos? whether he's lost his mind or otherwise, he still is the very core of rondo's entire modus operandi, the guiding arrow of his own flame. his own convictions exist because sazantos was there to stoke them. ] It's like you said yesterday - there are things that we have to remember, because they're important, and that's something I swear I'll never lose sight of.
[ the irony is that he goes back to canon and gets memlossed but it's fine it gets fixed probably ]
And - besides, it's not about lashing out. It's about the fact that he was hurting so badly in the first place.
Death does not sound angry, but there is a similar edge to their voice as before, when Rondo brought up their survey answer. Restrained, but a little mean.]
This person's pain stops being an excuse once it hurt others. They may have suffered all the misery in the world, but their sins are their own.
That amount of hatred can't be stopped by good will. It wears itself out, or gets forcibly extinguished. You are a burn, blaming itself for a flame. Idiotic.
[ he listens to this - the mean if restrained edge is honestly so familiar, and it makes the words hit their target even more than they already would, right down to being called an idiot. try to use your head, rondo. his help will be more of a hindrance. this artless greenhorn is to succeed me?
there's a long, thoughtful moment where he digests what they say, fists curling lightly at his side. and, when rondo raises his head again... ]
... I don't disagree. [ is the conclusion he finally comes to, voice a little quieter, but the conviction no less present. ] There is no excusing or taking back what he has done, and I would - I will do everything I can to stop him from doing it. It doesn't matter that he is important to me, but what matters is doing what's right. The corruption of his Flame is beyond my control.
[ the metaphor that they use is more ironic than they know, too. a burn, blaming itself for the flame. but the flame itself is the whole center of the issue, isn't it? ]
And in the end, I can't turn back time. [ even if he wishes he could. even if - well, even though what they say is right, and he does agree with parts of it, he still will wish that maybe... maybe if sazantos would have just let him in, he could have helped him stay in the light. now that he understands, maybe he could have helped. in the end, he is as soft and sweet as always, a baby bird cradled tenderly as a pure blue beating heart. ] ... but I don't think that it's a waste to care.
[Soft, sweet, and stupid. They gesture aimlessly with their free hand, resting their weight on their cane with the other.]
You know all this, and you're still attached. Still looking for ways to share their blame, not to absolve their blame, but to help carry it. That's the part that makes you an idiot. You were betrayed, weren't you?
[They end up just sighing, apparently not energetic enough to keep up the vitriol. Death is evidently a very tired person.]
rondo looks down at his hands, finally, his expression pulling into a frown, because. yeah. you were betrayed - hit the nail right on the head. of course he was betrayed. his entire life was shattered in a single, fell swoop. everything death says is correct.
but... ]
... I won't see it. [ he says it with a little laugh, almost helplessly. he won't see it and rondo knows he won't. self aware king. (?) im really sorry for this kingdomhearts ass line you're about to have to read with your whole eyeballs ]
I don't think the heart's very logical, Death. But, mine has never led me astray, so I follow where it leads me. That's what it means to walk with the Flame.
And... If that makes me stupid, then... I'm okay with being stupid. If it hurts, I'll just be strong enough to keep going.
Also, you must be very eager for me to call you stupid again, if you're telling me you believe in a masked cultist who was part of the organization who brought you here to begin with.
... I'll be honest, I wouldn't say that I trust any of you very much... but, I believe in the fact that you are someone.
[ the rondo of ten years ago might have trusted them immediately, but the rondo of now has been burned. you've been betrayed, after all. he rubs a little at the ink spot on his shoulder, almost subconscious. ]
Plus, you keep telling me not to trust you or believe you, but then you tell me things about yourself! Aren't I just doubting you like I should? [ he
says this and then lifts his hands as if anticipating a reaction: ] Joking, joking...
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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I think they can be pretty smart, right...? We had a lot of crows in Bolderfall, but everyone uses messenger ravens at home. Maybe it has a mischievous streak...
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Clever enough to be willful, yes. Mischievous, most likely.
You can be its friend instead. Wouldn't that be nice for all of us.
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anyway when the bird hops and squawks he looks delighted. ]
It looks like it agrees with you, Death. [ hehe. as for the rest! it turns to a clueless blink? ] Be its friend instead....? As opposed to you?
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Yes. As opposed to me.
[Death tilts their head far enough that the bird eventually has to let go of its roost and fly off, offended.]
I'm not really in the business of making friends.
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You said that before. [ not making friends... man imagine. rondo looks a little more thoughtful, and then nods, looking past them. ] It's okay, we don't have to be friends. But... it's not too bad to talk to others, right?
And, you did answer my letter.
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[They do observe the patch.]
What did your tardiness cost you?
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[ rondo blinks at them, and then looks down, and... it clicks into place. he reaches up to very gently touch the little ink spot, whether it's to smear it or just not to ruin it, and his ever warm expression falters, and rondo falls silent.
he closes his eyes, for a long moment. what did it cost? ]
...Not everything, but...almost everything. And it didn't cost me - it's cost so many people.
[ ... ] Someone important to me was suffering, and I never knew how badly he was suffering until it was too late. If I had known, maybe I could have helped him.
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...What nonsense. Your regret is that you could not stop another person from lashing out in their pain.
Your feelings are better spent regretting the person they are. Or meeting in the first place.
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I could never regret that. [ not regretting who he is, but especially not regretting meeting him. not in a thousand, million years. who would rondo be without sazantos? whether he's lost his mind or otherwise, he still is the very core of rondo's entire modus operandi, the guiding arrow of his own flame. his own convictions exist because sazantos was there to stoke them. ] It's like you said yesterday - there are things that we have to remember, because they're important, and that's something I swear I'll never lose sight of.
[ the irony is that he goes back to canon and gets memlossed but it's fine it gets fixed probably ]
And - besides, it's not about lashing out. It's about the fact that he was hurting so badly in the first place.
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[This is why they shouldn't talk to people :/
Death does not sound angry, but there is a similar edge to their voice as before, when Rondo brought up their survey answer. Restrained, but a little mean.]
This person's pain stops being an excuse once it hurt others. They may have suffered all the misery in the world, but their sins are their own.
That amount of hatred can't be stopped by good will. It wears itself out, or gets forcibly extinguished. You are a burn, blaming itself for a flame. Idiotic.
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there's a long, thoughtful moment where he digests what they say, fists curling lightly at his side. and, when rondo raises his head again... ]
... I don't disagree. [ is the conclusion he finally comes to, voice a little quieter, but the conviction no less present. ] There is no excusing or taking back what he has done, and I would - I will do everything I can to stop him from doing it. It doesn't matter that he is important to me, but what matters is doing what's right. The corruption of his Flame is beyond my control.
[ the metaphor that they use is more ironic than they know, too. a burn, blaming itself for the flame. but the flame itself is the whole center of the issue, isn't it? ]
And in the end, I can't turn back time. [ even if he wishes he could. even if - well, even though what they say is right, and he does agree with parts of it, he still will wish that maybe... maybe if sazantos would have just let him in, he could have helped him stay in the light. now that he understands, maybe he could have helped. in the end, he is as soft and sweet as always, a baby bird cradled tenderly as a pure blue beating heart. ] ... but I don't think that it's a waste to care.
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You know all this, and you're still attached. Still looking for ways to share their blame, not to absolve their blame, but to help carry it. That's the part that makes you an idiot. You were betrayed, weren't you?
[They end up just sighing, apparently not energetic enough to keep up the vitriol. Death is evidently a very tired person.]
It is a waste. You'll see that, eventually.
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rondo looks down at his hands, finally, his expression pulling into a frown, because. yeah. you were betrayed - hit the nail right on the head. of course he was betrayed. his entire life was shattered in a single, fell swoop. everything death says is correct.
but... ]
... I won't see it. [ he says it with a little laugh, almost helplessly. he won't see it and rondo knows he won't. self aware king. (?) im really sorry for this kingdomhearts ass line you're about to have to read with your whole eyeballs ]
I don't think the heart's very logical, Death. But, mine has never led me astray, so I follow where it leads me. That's what it means to walk with the Flame.
And... If that makes me stupid, then... I'm okay with being stupid. If it hurts, I'll just be strong enough to keep going.
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Death rubs the back of their neck like they're getting a headache, though their insults lack heat right now.]
I don't know what to say to idiots. You clearly can't be dissuaded.
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he smiles a little at that, though, and even lets out a little laugh. ]
Sir Sazantos always used to say that I was too stubborn for my own good. [ which is so, so violently, unbelievably true. ] I can't say it isn't true.
... I feel like I could learn a lot from you, Death. Even if we're not friends.
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No, you won't. In case it isn't obvious by now, I'm a dried-up husk.
I will offer you information and assistance so as to send you home. You can use me to that end, and that's all.
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[ DON'T JUST SAY NO ]
And... I don't really want to do that. Even if you say that's what I can do, I don't really - I'm not that kind of person.
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...I was not wheedling you for validation.
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[ ???? ]
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[ he'll be stubborn about this too actually ]
Why would you call yourself that...?
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Also, you must be very eager for me to call you stupid again, if you're telling me you believe in a masked cultist who was part of the organization who brought you here to begin with.
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[ the rondo of ten years ago might have trusted them immediately, but the rondo of now has been burned. you've been betrayed, after all. he rubs a little at the ink spot on his shoulder, almost subconscious. ]
Plus, you keep telling me not to trust you or believe you, but then you tell me things about yourself! Aren't I just doubting you like I should? [ he
says this and then lifts his hands as if anticipating a reaction: ] Joking, joking...
[ kind of ]
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[Betrayal should teach you a lesson. A profile that mentions betrayal on it should perhaps be a red flag.]
But you are a cheeky one, aren't you.
[What does this shoulder ink say]
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rondo smiles though at being called cheeky, ducking his head. ]
Well... maybe a little. [ hehe. i was not going to say it changed but now it can change to something else, which is leaving her behind. ]
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