[ FUCKING HELP they can watch him mouth therapy to himself. terrible. ] I can't say I've ever heard of it, but... thank you.
[ and!!! he immediately takes the stack, zero hesitation. this is like exactly what he needs right now, and he readjusts the stack so he can hold it correctly in his arms, the therapy book on the bottom. ]
[ valid. he follows, holding the stack, obediently. ]
...actually, I think it's sort of the opposite. [ with a little huff. ] I've always needed too much help from others. Just... always relying on other people to try to be strong enough.
[ it's only recently he's been on his own two feet, after all. ]
rondo is sitting down with the stack - he moves to put it within arms reach of them where they're sprawled, so the books are in perfect grab and read space. and then when they say that he just. he just laughs? like sort of a startled, dazed noise. ] Haha... ha...
[ ha... ] ...yes. Yes, I... I have too. It...
[ but with the stack down, he settles too, taking the therapy book and settling down, shoulders hunching. ] ...sometimes those are the sort of people who you'd never even know something was wrong, until it's too late.
[ lazily reaches for a book—some complicated text that looks like a record of different plants and their medicinal uses—and keeps up conversation while reading ]
This sounds like it's getting close to your tragic backstory.
[ just says it ]
... though it's not a completely unrelatable thing.
Unfortunately for everyone, I have always been this way. I know it might be more convenient if my foul personality came from some sob story, but I only have disappointing news.
[ unfortunately, yeah!!! sometimes you learn the hard way!!! ] It's not unlike something that happened even before Sir Sazantos betrayed us, though the Ringbearer Chosen was far better at scoping her out than I was.
...It's... to be frank, it's a little easier, here.
When people here are killing each other, it's because they've been taken over by the spirit of a monster. More often than not, people are full of regrets for what they've done, in the moments that they come back to themselves.
[ rondo looks down at the book in his lap, running his finger down the side of it just for something to do. ]
At home...It's never because they're possessed, or... taken over by a monster... or anything like that. In my experience, people act on those basal instincts because they want to. They're motivated by their greed, or the sake of vengeance, or their ambition. Sometimes, they weigh the costs of other people's lives against their own needs, and decide that those lives aren't worth as much as their own desire. Even Sir Sazantos - even though he wanted to eliminate everything because of those desires, he... it was the same, in the end.
So... it's a little easier, here. Because more often than not, there's a pressure and influence that forces the action, as opposed to choice. It isn't to say that the people here aren't capable of it on their own, because... I think people are often capable of that kind of thing. But they choose not to act on it without outside pressure.
[ famine looks over at rondo then, curious - but also. pressing. ]
Is it worth condemning those who will betray others because they choose to? Are the people who are possessed better, because they didn't do it unless driven?
There is a room full of temptation beneath the swamp. Are any of those reasons less worthwhile than being possessed by a monster and getting nothing but suffering, and someone still ends up dead?
[ despite the words chosen, their questions are open. non-judgmental. wondering sincerely if rondo possesses an answer ]
[ rondo's quiet for a long, thoughtful moment - really processing the question, and processing his experiences so far. two different places, orsterra and this village, colored by many of the same conflicts. in moments like these, despite his spazzy exterior, it becomes more clear that he's a pretty thoughtful guy. ]
Truthfully, I think...whether the items in the room are worthwhile or not, that's up to the person who acts upon them. To me, they aren't. Though... I'm aware that's hypocritical, right now, considering everything that will be happening next week.
[ the aggressively lawful good i killed you but only because i'm going to rez you in like three days ] There are items of great temptation and power in Orsterra, and it is my duty as the Flameguard to retrieve them, lest they cause destruction, so I may be a little biased.
[ another pause as he chews it over. ]
...I'm not sure if I can make a judgement either way. I want to believe that people won't take up that option, but I also don't know what people's lives are like. Even... even when we talk about the wishes - at first, I was hesitant to share my monster with anyone, at all, because I didn't want to put someone else's life in danger. The more that I speak with others, and with the failsafes that have appeared, though, the more thought I've given to it. So many people are wishing for things that are impossible to fix without something that powerful to fix them. Things that are selfless. And - things that aren't selfless, but things like a desire to live.
So... maybe for me, it's only easier because it feels less painful, because it's less like what I experienced before. It's only less painful by a small margin - it still contends with so much loss, and hurt, and if there was another way, I'd rather it, but there isn't one. Not yet. And... easier is not better, necessarily. It's not good. None of it is.
[ they aren't necessarily displeased by rondo's answer, even if they are in a different camp entirely. ]
That is where I differ from all of you. The items make sense to me, because a person's suffering should be taken into account the same as their strength. Everyone was so worried about having their lives tied together for monster partners, but never gave thought to the wishes that someone would be willing to put their life on the line for.
I would rather know that someone chooses to weigh the importance of life against their personal goals, rather than be controlled into senselessly harming someone else and then still suffering for it.
It is all a loss of life. None of it is something to brush off carelessly. Perhaps your experiences with betrayal have led to a wariness of those who would choose to break your trust, but I'd rather be betrayed than leave someone I cared for stuck in the same pitiful place with no other options.
It is all a loss of life. I think it - of course, it would be nice, if there was another way. But that isn't reality. [ for as much as rondo is an optimist, he wouldn't have lasted long as the flameguard if he was futile, always. ] So... I think you've given me a lot to think about - thank you.
What you've said about wishes has been on my mind a lot lately, too. I've... only recently thought about starting to find who my partner is. I know they must still be alive. Am I doing them a disservice if I don't find them? Or am I keeping them alive by doing so? Which.. for some people, that could even mean - keeping them alive is really keeping them from their wish, which might even just be leading them to their death.
... It's a lot. I want to make the decision - all of the decisions, here - carefully, if I can.
[ famine has one simple response to rondo's pondering: ]
Sometimes, keeping someone alive is not the same thing as saving them. But the rest of your thoughts meander and vary, but at the end of the day, decisions will come and you will be forced to make choices. You don't know what circumstances in which they will arrive, and how that may make all of your prior thinking and pondering useless.
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no subject
[ and!!! he immediately takes the stack, zero hesitation. this is like exactly what he needs right now, and he readjusts the stack so he can hold it correctly in his arms, the therapy book on the bottom. ]
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rearranges the books so that that therapy one is on top ]
It is self-help. Or help from others. Study it.
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...Yes, s - Yes, Famine.
[ he readjusts his hold on the book stack and peers at his self help book. ] I like to think I'm... not that bad at taking help from others...
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[ famine will wander off now, going to find a place to sit. done being vertical. time to be horizontal ]
But you seem like the annoying type that would struggle with it. Your hesitation tells me enough.
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...actually, I think it's sort of the opposite. [ with a little huff. ] I've always needed too much help from others. Just... always relying on other people to try to be strong enough.
[ it's only recently he's been on his own two feet, after all. ]
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[ it's said in a curious way, but also in a 'can't relate' way ]
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[ quietly. ]
But... it is now.
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[ they eventually make it to a seating area with a couch and some chairs. famine proceeds to take up the whole couch like an asshole cat, yawning ]
I give you the book because I've encountered plenty of physically strong people who have more mental cracks than I can count on both hands.
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rondo is sitting down with the stack - he moves to put it within arms reach of them where they're sprawled, so the books are in perfect grab and read space. and then when they say that he just. he just laughs? like sort of a startled, dazed noise. ] Haha... ha...
[ ha... ] ...yes. Yes, I... I have too. It...
[ but with the stack down, he settles too, taking the therapy book and settling down, shoulders hunching. ] ...sometimes those are the sort of people who you'd never even know something was wrong, until it's too late.
no subject
This sounds like it's getting close to your tragic backstory.
[ just says it ]
... though it's not a completely unrelatable thing.
no subject
...your tragic backstory, then...?
[ they may get the sense this is
just a little cheeky. just a little. ]
no subject
[ a tragic backstory. turns page ]
Unfortunately for everyone, I have always been this way. I know it might be more convenient if my foul personality came from some sob story, but I only have disappointing news.
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...Honestly, it's not much better when it does. [ have a sob story. not naming any names or anything. ] It's... you said it before. You're honest.
It's a lot worse to uncover it later.
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Or would you call yourself experienced in the matter?
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The latter.
[ unfortunately, yeah!!! sometimes you learn the hard way!!! ] It's not unlike something that happened even before Sir Sazantos betrayed us, though the Ringbearer Chosen was far better at scoping her out than I was.
...It's... to be frank, it's a little easier, here.
no subject
How so?
no subject
When people here are killing each other, it's because they've been taken over by the spirit of a monster. More often than not, people are full of regrets for what they've done, in the moments that they come back to themselves.
[ rondo looks down at the book in his lap, running his finger down the side of it just for something to do. ]
At home...It's never because they're possessed, or... taken over by a monster... or anything like that. In my experience, people act on those basal instincts because they want to. They're motivated by their greed, or the sake of vengeance, or their ambition. Sometimes, they weigh the costs of other people's lives against their own needs, and decide that those lives aren't worth as much as their own desire. Even Sir Sazantos - even though he wanted to eliminate everything because of those desires, he... it was the same, in the end.
So... it's a little easier, here. Because more often than not, there's a pressure and influence that forces the action, as opposed to choice. It isn't to say that the people here aren't capable of it on their own, because... I think people are often capable of that kind of thing. But they choose not to act on it without outside pressure.
no subject
Is it worth condemning those who will betray others because they choose to? Are the people who are possessed better, because they didn't do it unless driven?
There is a room full of temptation beneath the swamp. Are any of those reasons less worthwhile than being possessed by a monster and getting nothing but suffering, and someone still ends up dead?
[ despite the words chosen, their questions are open. non-judgmental. wondering sincerely if rondo possesses an answer ]
no subject
Truthfully, I think...whether the items in the room are worthwhile or not, that's up to the person who acts upon them. To me, they aren't. Though... I'm aware that's hypocritical, right now, considering everything that will be happening next week.
[ the aggressively lawful good i killed you but only because i'm going to rez you in like three days ] There are items of great temptation and power in Orsterra, and it is my duty as the Flameguard to retrieve them, lest they cause destruction, so I may be a little biased.
[ another pause as he chews it over. ]
...I'm not sure if I can make a judgement either way. I want to believe that people won't take up that option, but I also don't know what people's lives are like. Even... even when we talk about the wishes - at first, I was hesitant to share my monster with anyone, at all, because I didn't want to put someone else's life in danger. The more that I speak with others, and with the failsafes that have appeared, though, the more thought I've given to it. So many people are wishing for things that are impossible to fix without something that powerful to fix them. Things that are selfless. And - things that aren't selfless, but things like a desire to live.
So... maybe for me, it's only easier because it feels less painful, because it's less like what I experienced before. It's only less painful by a small margin - it still contends with so much loss, and hurt, and if there was another way, I'd rather it, but there isn't one. Not yet. And... easier is not better, necessarily. It's not good. None of it is.
[ .... ]
...Does that makes sense?
no subject
[ they aren't necessarily displeased by rondo's answer, even if they are in a different camp entirely. ]
That is where I differ from all of you. The items make sense to me, because a person's suffering should be taken into account the same as their strength. Everyone was so worried about having their lives tied together for monster partners, but never gave thought to the wishes that someone would be willing to put their life on the line for.
I would rather know that someone chooses to weigh the importance of life against their personal goals, rather than be controlled into senselessly harming someone else and then still suffering for it.
It is all a loss of life. None of it is something to brush off carelessly. Perhaps your experiences with betrayal have led to a wariness of those who would choose to break your trust, but I'd rather be betrayed than leave someone I cared for stuck in the same pitiful place with no other options.
no subject
[ he says, after a long moment of quiet. ]
It is all a loss of life. I think it - of course, it would be nice, if there was another way. But that isn't reality. [ for as much as rondo is an optimist, he wouldn't have lasted long as the flameguard if he was futile, always. ] So... I think you've given me a lot to think about - thank you.
What you've said about wishes has been on my mind a lot lately, too. I've... only recently thought about starting to find who my partner is. I know they must still be alive. Am I doing them a disservice if I don't find them? Or am I keeping them alive by doing so? Which.. for some people, that could even mean - keeping them alive is really keeping them from their wish, which might even just be leading them to their death.
... It's a lot. I want to make the decision - all of the decisions, here - carefully, if I can.
no subject
Sometimes, keeping someone alive is not the same thing as saving them. But the rest of your thoughts meander and vary, but at the end of the day, decisions will come and you will be forced to make choices. You don't know what circumstances in which they will arrive, and how that may make all of your prior thinking and pondering useless.
[ shrugs ]
That is living.