[ he watches the anger flare up, and he's not surprised. there is no answering fury, not when he's mocked or the way that lucas's thoughts tell him to suffer. admittedly there was a reason why he was waiting for an active verbal choice rather than whatever his thoughts were going to tell him because it sure seems like a mess in there.
his voice is calm, measured, and patient. ]
I don't care how much you hurt me. I know that you care about the safety and well-being about other people.
... but it's been eight years of being told that Relivers are demons, and that I am the worst of them all. If physical symptoms have been addressed, then we need to next discuss mental blocks. [ a beat ] This is one of them. So an equal exchange sounds fine, since you have been forced into a detox.
But I want to be clear about something, even though I think right now you are too angry to properly absorb it.
I think you are a kind person. I think the core of you wants to help. When you didn't know who I was, masked and unfamiliar, you kept asking after me. Even now, when the thoughts planted in your head tell you that I'm a villain, you ask after my health and comfort. You are here, with me, even though it actively causes you discomfort mentally. To everyone else here who is certainly not a Reliver—you are patient and considerate. These are factual pieces of evidence that run counter to whatever violent urge rests in you.
But I don't hate the part of you that's angry and sharp, because you've been hurt and manipulated to the point that even the idea of being given choice makes you so activated. [ when he has to confront whether he'd actually hurt scien himself, or if he has to untangle the thoughts in his head that whisper to him it's a good idea ] These impulses are vivid, and perhaps there are parts of you that are intermingled with them because it is not a surprise to hold anger toward a cruel world.
But you are not defined by your worst thoughts, no matter how much they might be flaring up right now.
no subject
[ he watches the anger flare up, and he's not surprised. there is no answering fury, not when he's mocked or the way that lucas's thoughts tell him to suffer. admittedly there was a reason why he was waiting for an active verbal choice rather than whatever his thoughts were going to tell him because it sure seems like a mess in there.
his voice is calm, measured, and patient. ]
I don't care how much you hurt me. I know that you care about the safety and well-being about other people.
... but it's been eight years of being told that Relivers are demons, and that I am the worst of them all. If physical symptoms have been addressed, then we need to next discuss mental blocks. [ a beat ] This is one of them. So an equal exchange sounds fine, since you have been forced into a detox.
But I want to be clear about something, even though I think right now you are too angry to properly absorb it.
I think you are a kind person. I think the core of you wants to help. When you didn't know who I was, masked and unfamiliar, you kept asking after me. Even now, when the thoughts planted in your head tell you that I'm a villain, you ask after my health and comfort. You are here, with me, even though it actively causes you discomfort mentally. To everyone else here who is certainly not a Reliver—you are patient and considerate. These are factual pieces of evidence that run counter to whatever violent urge rests in you.
But I don't hate the part of you that's angry and sharp, because you've been hurt and manipulated to the point that even the idea of being given choice makes you so activated. [ when he has to confront whether he'd actually hurt scien himself, or if he has to untangle the thoughts in his head that whisper to him it's a good idea ] These impulses are vivid, and perhaps there are parts of you that are intermingled with them because it is not a surprise to hold anger toward a cruel world.
But you are not defined by your worst thoughts, no matter how much they might be flaring up right now.