[HE DOESN'T WANNA BE CURED!!!!! Except he does, in that he still wants to return to Nadia, but truly everything in this moment just aches so badly that it's hard to believe in a future where it doesn't hurt with the same level of pain as it does in this moment. He hasn't lived to a point where his past is three years behind him, to a point where he can still acknowledge the sins he's committed but also live his life with a balance of penance and joy.
Right now, it just feels like it'll be this way forever. Every day having to face the fact that he's a horrible, evil person and a killer who has taken so many lives and futures from others, every day forcing himself forward through a mire of exhaustion and misery and having to remind himself that it's the very least he deserves for everything he's done. For Nadia, he'll suffer any agony - but it's a heavy weight.
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Right now, it just feels like it'll be this way forever. Every day having to face the fact that he's a horrible, evil person and a killer who has taken so many lives and futures from others, every day forcing himself forward through a mire of exhaustion and misery and having to remind himself that it's the very least he deserves for everything he's done. For Nadia, he'll suffer any agony - but it's a heavy weight.
The silence stretches on again for a while.]
...Is that all for today?