[Hearing that Scien isn't hurt runs a thread of relief through the rest of his feelings. So many people had died in that stupid fucking massacre that hearing Scien's voice made him briefly afraid that he'd fallen, too. The wounds of the heart are another matter - things that can't be seen, but can be felt in the moment. Addressing them can come next.
He lets himself be held close, curled around, as if standing here in Scien's arms will preempt any further dangers to either of them - even though Lucas himself has proven to be one of the biggest dangers to Scien here. His hands run soft, soothing circles across Scien's back, and he presses his face against his shoulder, breathing in and out in a slow and purposeful way. For his own sake, and for the show that he's alive again, even if he hadn't been not that long ago.]
I'm sorry, even so. [Even though it isn't his fault buT IT KIND OF IS but no one has to know........ His distraction...
The waver in Scien's voice plucks at a strange chord in him. Something tender and aching, but still with that ever-present sharpness that fits ill with every other part of him that's slowly but surely been opening up to the god in his arms. The flutter of that little bud of love is sorrowful in this moment, for finding yet another way to harm Scien. Perhaps a worse way than any of the rest, if this level of emotional hurt is anything to go by.]
...I'll do what I can to stay alive. I didn't mean to hurt you... I don't want to say goodbye to you yet.
[Death is just darkness here, just a blip of nothing like falling into a dreamless sleep. It's nothing to mourn for, to worry about or be frightened of, really. But the image of Scien waiting by his silent grave fills his mind and makes his heart ache fiercely.]
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He lets himself be held close, curled around, as if standing here in Scien's arms will preempt any further dangers to either of them - even though Lucas himself has proven to be one of the biggest dangers to Scien here. His hands run soft, soothing circles across Scien's back, and he presses his face against his shoulder, breathing in and out in a slow and purposeful way. For his own sake, and for the show that he's alive again, even if he hadn't been not that long ago.]
I'm sorry, even so. [Even though it isn't his fault buT IT KIND OF IS but no one has to know........ His distraction...
The waver in Scien's voice plucks at a strange chord in him. Something tender and aching, but still with that ever-present sharpness that fits ill with every other part of him that's slowly but surely been opening up to the god in his arms. The flutter of that little bud of love is sorrowful in this moment, for finding yet another way to harm Scien. Perhaps a worse way than any of the rest, if this level of emotional hurt is anything to go by.]
...I'll do what I can to stay alive. I didn't mean to hurt you... I don't want to say goodbye to you yet.
[Death is just darkness here, just a blip of nothing like falling into a dreamless sleep. It's nothing to mourn for, to worry about or be frightened of, really. But the image of Scien waiting by his silent grave fills his mind and makes his heart ache fiercely.]