[ he doesn't want lucas to feel guilty. people die so easily here. it's not his fault. even the first time that he heard lucas died in the graveyard, a protective flare came up from him. but to experience it now that he's here, so close, so unable to do anything, so already enamored with him in such a short time in the way that scien can never feel things halfway—it was always going to devastate him. ]

Mm. [ a soft noise. a confirmation, in some ways. he noses further against lucas's hair, gentle and hiding himself away for a moment as he curls around lucas just to keep him close. ] I'm not hurt.

[ not physically, anyway. this emotional ache is something else, and scien, as someone who doesn't even think about his emotions as important, forgets to list it as an ailment even though it's exactly this feeling that's tearing him apart. ]

I understand that you can't control things here. [ even now, the logic is trying to fight its way to the forefront ] But I can't...

[ his voice wavers for a moment, traitorously. he takes a second to center himself again. what does he want to say? ]

I did not fight off the curse to save your life, only to lose you so soon.