You'd have to ask her.

[ he'll just settle himself entirely on the ground then, accepting the kitty climbing on him as he continues to pet it with one hand as the other still loosely holds onto lucas's ]

I don't care to speak for her, or claim that I did a good job.

Only that, if she is arriving tomorrow, I won't allow myself to fail moving forward. If she chooses life, despite everything that happened, she ought to experience a life worth living.